walkthisway Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 She initiated contact, asked to meet up, texted me at midnight on Friday night, texted me the next morning - and asked to be friends. THEN after I said possibly she tells me she is seeing someone. She told me she wants to be friends bc I'm the only guy/PERSON she feels comfortable talking to and misses our intimacy but she asks if I'm alright if she's seeing someone that she said isnt serious and obviously isn't very intimate with. I said I wasn't looking for more than a friendship before she told me about this guy. I said I wasn't persuing. She than dropped this on me. I thought we had something kicking up. She talked down the guy. I asked why she wants to be friends - her answer is bc I'm a good person and a great listener. I don't know if she's lying about this guy or not - there's no signs of anyone and I don't hear nothing from friends. Is this some tactic game ****? Or she is seeing someone - he hasn't been there for her and she doesn't feel close to him. But she says what she says and I have to take it at that. 2 year relationship done for 3 months. As much as I'd love to have another go at it - I have truly changed in many ways which is why I'm open to it - her bringing this in sounds like a game. It turned me off yet I do have serious feelings for her. I don't know if she's considering and is afraid to commit, not sure why she wants to be my friend - when I'm done with an ex I don't want to have anything to do with them for quite some time - I'm lost with this. I'm looking to hear if anyone here has played this game with their ex. Is this some tactic? Is this fear of me? Why would someone want to be friends with their ex they broke up with just a couple of months ago? It seems to be time to write this off - I needed to vent somewhere - thx for reading.
lukekarts Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I've not been in this situation before, but I've seen it many a time. Basically she just wants to use you for being a good listener. You should steer clear.
eleve82 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 My ex tried to use this line on me (5 year r/s), said he wanted to stay friends and keep me in his life. I asked why and he more or less said the same thing "you're a good person" and he felt he could learn a lot from me (!!! Among other random weird stuff about how I was important to him (but not important enough to be in a relationship with) and how he felt secure with me) okay, so I was abit dubious about the whole thing and continued picking up his calls and texts. Basically almost a year after breaking up he is still feeding breadcrumbs and finally i got so sick of hearing this that I just stopped responding and reciprocating. I feel better now because I don't have to pretend to care about who he ends up seeing and feeling obliged to be this "awesome person" he thinks he can come to. I reserved that patience and energy for that special person in my life and maybe family or close girlfriends and not just for any guy friend. So if I were you, I'd just cut her out of my life. She needn't have the privilege of having a great listening ear nor do you owe her anything.
Chi townD Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 So, you want me to put the idea of another guy to rest for you? Okay...here it goes. Yes, there is another guy. She couldn't ask to be friends with you and try to hide this other guy. So, she needed to be up front with you. Her reasons for wanting you in her life was "You're a good person and a great listener" Which leads me to believe that she's got the hot's for a dude with a "bad boy" image and could really give a rats ass how her day went and would rather not hear about it. She's more involved with him that she made you believe. I mean, come on! She's down playing him to you; but yet, she will continue to date him while holding you as nothing more than a friend. If he isn't that big of a deal, then it shouldn't be a problem to walk away from this dude and back to you......but, she doesn't want to do that. That should give you an indication where you stand with her. So, in a nutshell, she cake eating. She wants to have her emotional needs met by you and all the physical needs met by him. She would have the perfect set up! But, how is that fair to you? You need to go NC on her. You need to tell her that you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with her for the end result being that you are nothing more than a friend to her. That she made the choice to walk away from you and to have you out of her life. That if she's having problems, well.....she has a new boyfriend to tell them to because you need to start moving on with your life and for you to find a girl that wants to be with you because there's no other place on the planet she would rather be. And that she out there waiting for you to find her.
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