jenny2682 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Ok. Got broke up with 5 weeks ago. Had the "meeting" last night that he had been putting off-the bills, closure etc. Went to a neutral location for abut 5 hours. Went over problems. I said you know we could work this out. He said yes we could. But didn't offer to you know work it out. I said he was going to be dead to me. He ended it in a terrible manner. No point. He said that he still wanted me in his life but it was my decision. He would respect it. So of course I caved. He drove me home. Said I burned to many bridges. I asked how he said I made my family and friends hate him after breakup. I said no I didn't. My cousin actually drove by and talked to us after he said it. I told him I was talking to him for my Mom. She said we were being childish and we could make it work. He again said yes we could make it work. He looked relaxed when he saw people didn't hate him. Then the worst thing possible happened. I cried. Of course he held me. Then getting out of car I stuck my hand out and tried to shake. He then grabbed, held and kissed me. This breakup is taking forever with mixed messages. I am sick of it. Why does he want me in his life? why did he kiss me. A million things in my mind. And yes we text every day or two. So no contact? I have furniture over there and will eventually have to contact but other than that don't see a reason. But I'm scared then it will be over over. I don't want to live like this. Advice please?
Author jenny2682 Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 He actually told me how he dated a girl for 6 months and when she started getting "snippy" he broke up with her so she could date "dicks" and then come back to him realizing what a great guy he is. She ended getting knocked up and married to someone else. He seriously told me this story while meeting last night. Is this some kind of weird foreshadowing??
lavenderlove Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Is he expecting you to beg? To shake and cry and plead at his foot? And with that comment about that girl. "Knocked up and married." It can be interpreted in many ways, for example, she left him, had an accidental, decided to keep the baby, maybe because she was supported to, and she got married to the father of her first child, whom she might actually since fallen in love with, vice versa. Such a sad story. You should run back to him hey?
Author jenny2682 Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 Shaking my head as well. I mean i said you don't understand women. He was like yes, you are all crazy. Shaking my damn head. I still do care about him though. I don't know why but I do. I just don't understand what he is doing. About a week ago I said I will leave the ring on the counter. He let out an audible gasp. I just don't want to give up entirely. I also however don't want to play games. he just texted me back to a earlier text. At 233 in the morning. Jesus.
Misfortune Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 He agrees with everything you say about working out but just decides not to? Seems a little eh to me. I think you need to be strong, put on a brave face and go NC on him. You showed him you still care for him and you're wiling to defend him against people that he thinks dislikes him. Stuff happens honestly, wouldn't be life without it. He seems scared to face the consequences of his action. If you leave/cheat on someone, of course their loved ones won't think much of you anymore. Leave him alone, give him space (I dislike this "space" thing so much. -_- it's like a reward for them. They crush your heart, then stand on the edge of a cliff basically saying "if you come any closer, I'll jump". Obviously you don't want to lose them, so you'll back off and they'll continue doing w/e until their satisfied.) and let him come to you on his own if that's what he wants.
eleve82 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Having had an ex who didn't want to commit but couldn't let go either, I kind of understand what you are going thru. Mine was giving mixed signals for almost a year now and sometime last week, I just didn't see a point anymore and cut all conversations short. Since he kept referring to himself as a friend, I decided to take it at face value. He had 6 years to decide if he saw a future with me, I guess my patience just died out with all hope. I think at some point after he has vacillated enough, you will get so sick and tired of turning his every action and word over in your head that he will gradually fade away. But in order to give yourself a fair chance to move on (and for him to realise he cannot just sit there and take you for granted), you need to resolve all outstanding issues (things at his place, money issues) ASAP. Don't let him string you on but don't give ultimatums either. Just continue with your life - if he is serious about keeping you by his side, he will have to do more than drop breadcrumbs for you.
Author jenny2682 Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 See we were going to be married well this month. He called it off during a huge MS attack. I don't know if he feels bad. Yes that is something that my family might/should hate him for. I think about it now- we were supposed to be married in 16 days. I guess he feels bad/weird. It all was supposed to be so soon!
darkmoon Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 date others, you can tell him or keep quiet about it, keep quiet to be diplomatic, just do not only focus on him, he is not making you at all happy, I am sorry you are going thru this, a partner is supposed to sort out problems not create them
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