Story Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 (I'm moving this post from part a different thread that got moved to another forum.) I'd like to share some remarks that a guy made to me during our first two weeks of dating: "Are those the same jeans you were wearing yesterday?" (They weren't.) "Are those the same jeans you wore the other day?" (They weren't.) "Do you always wear jeans?" (I don't. And I dress myself nicely.) (The above three questions were the one of the first things he said to me upon arriving to my house. Note that we were going to hang at my house and watch TV.) "Are all of your bras and panties black?" (They aren't.) "Do you have any colorful bras, like yellow or green?" (I do.) What is that crap about? Who says these things, especially early on when dating someone? Have any of you encountered something similar? Just curious what y'all think.
FitChick Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Tell him, "If you don't like the way I dress, you are welcome to take me shopping." 5
Author Story Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 I told him that if he didn't like what I was wearing that I'd let him know in advance next time I was wearing it and that he could skip visiting me. I also let him know that I don't put up with that nonsense from anyone and that if that was the way he was going to talk to me, then I wasn't going to continue to date him. He cut it out after that. I just thought that his remarks were odd though. I never encountered that treatment before. 1
Addison312 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I am dating a guy who has a lot of opinions on female clothing, it seems. He's an artist and "highly visual"...isn't every guy?? I've always dressed myself and adhered to my own style and clothes that fit my body type well. I wear skirts, heels, and dresses at least twice a week when we go out. He has showed me photos on his phone of some things he likes on women and has asked me some similar questions as the guy you're dating as well. This is a new realm for me as I've always been with men who never comment other than "you look nice." Not quite sure how I feel about it. I already have gay friends who are into fashion and I will ask their opinion, but a boyfriend....?
Addison312 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 "Are those the same jeans you were wearing yesterday?" (They weren't.) "Are those the same jeans you wore the other day?" (They weren't.) That's just rude.
dasein Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Oh hell yes. "That leather jacket is probably the only cool thing you have. You think you're such a stud." "Do you always wear leather jackets?" "I don't really like leather jackets." "Do you usually wear laceup shoes on dates?" "Do you usually wear roper boots on dates?" "Do you usually wear loafers on dates?" "Do you always wear white shirts?" "Do you always wear blue shirts?" "Do you always wear plaid shirts?" "Why aren't you wearing jeans?" "Why don't you ever wear khakis?" "Do you ever wear a tie with a sports jacket?" "Do you always wear plaid jackets?" "Don't tell me the only sports jacket you have is a navy blazer." "Do you have any ties that aren't solid colors?" "Do you have any solid color ties?" "Your hair looks like a wig, why don't you wear it shorter?" "Why don't you ever grow your hair out?" "Do you not ever use any hair product?" "Do you always put too much product?" There is only one response a man should make to this barrage... "Why are you so intent on undressing me in your mind? You're thinking of me naked right this minute, aren't you? Don't assume you are getting lucky, the night is still young and I'd like to hear something more interesting than comments on my clothes if I'm going to make those fantasies you're having come true tonight." Maybe it would work for women too? 1
Author Story Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 Addison, If his comments make you uncomfortable, it's okay to tell him that. He may not intend for them to come across the way that they do. If that's the case, I'm sure he will apologize and be more tactful going forward.
Author Story Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 dasein, Wow! Did you seriously receive all of those comments?! If so, that is awful, and I sure hope that you find a gal who accepts you as you are. Don't tolerate that nonsense!
dasein Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 dasein, Wow! Did you seriously receive all of those comments?! If so, that is awful, and I sure hope that you find a gal who accepts you as you are. Don't tolerate that nonsense! That was over a long long time of dating many women. Lots of women I've dated don't make such comments. I hate to make it into a red flag issue, because some of the women who made those kinds of comments were fine otherwise. But yes, I've heard all those things and more, especially the hair, always the hair, and all variations of hair comments. Going to start cutting my own hair and see what they think of that!
FitChick Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Going to start cutting my own hair and see what they think of that! 1
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