afteralltheseyears Posted October 31, 2004 Posted October 31, 2004 I need some advice. I just starting dating again after a 6 year relationship and I am scared of being hurt. I can be insecure at times which I know is part of my problem. I met a really nice guy who seems to afraid of "a new" relationship also (for his own reasons). We have only gonna out twice (within the first week we met) and have talked on the phone several times. We both seem to really enjoy each other company. He says he does not want to "bolt" but needs to take things slow. I truly undertstand that but would like to spend more time with him. We both have crazy schedules and both are divorced with children. We went out Friday night and had a blast. I had some "free" time Saturday night and did call to see what he was doing. he had to work all day after being out late and I undertstand he was tired. We talked online for a while this morning but have not made any plans to get together. He is a hard person to read and I"m not sure how to handle this. Being insecure, it is important to me that person voices if there is an interests, and let's me know I am someone they enjoy being with. I don't want to be overbearing, so I've tried to let him know in suttles ways. I real feel I need to talk to him before I go crazy but don't want to scare him. SHould I just give up..sometimes it's not worth the pain you put yourself through.
SoleMate Posted October 31, 2004 Posted October 31, 2004 He is a hard person to read and I"m not sure how to handle this. Being insecure, it is important to me that person voices if there is an interests, and lets me know I am someone they enjoy being with. It's a two way street. Why not just say, "I wanted to let you know that I have really enjoyed the time we have spent together. I was wondering how you felt?" Sometimes (with men) you have to be really specific and ask for exactly what you want. Lots of times they are happy to give you what you want, if only they are told what it is...
Just Visiting Posted November 1, 2004 Posted November 1, 2004 I am going through the same thing too. After many failed attempts of having a GOOD relationship with someone, I am insecure too. My heart has been broken and have been disappointed ALOT. Just the past three weeks, I restarted talking to someone that I got to know casually earlier this year. We have been chatting, went to the movies, and a party together. I invited him to my friend's Hallowe'en costume party last night, and he backed out at the last minute. He has a four-year old son and the mother wasn't sure when she was going to pick him up. I was really looking forward to seeing him and was sad/ticked off that he couldn't come. Maybe after being disappointed repeatedly, that I am overly sensitive whenever something like this happens. The way I feel right now, I want to give up on men and relationships. Seems like as soon as I like someone, things happen to make it fall apart again. I just don't know.
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