zues Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Day 3 of no contact, Ive been thinking that im actually secretly wishing that she will contact me. I keep hoping that she will see what she has lost and come running back. even though deep down i know it wont happen. Am i right when i say every single person here who is the dumpee and is currently on no contact, that they to are hoping that their ex will contact them? its not getting easier lets hope tomorrow is a better day!
Misfortune Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Almost everyone has those hopes. It's normal. Try not let the hope control you. My hope is a more of "I wish I could fly" kind of thing. While its something I want, I know the chances of it ever happening are slim to none. I'm able to easily keep that hope without having it shape my life. If I get the chance to fly, I'll be happy. If I don't, oh well. 3
Sneaky Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Yeah, I have those too even though I fully realize it's very very unlikely. (Also the fly one, that would rock.) 1
Author zues Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 I think if we didnt have that small bit of hope. we would be over our ex within a few days? dont you agree?
jesse93 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I had this hope as well, and then it actually happened. But it wasn't as i was expecting in my heart, i wanted her to come back arms open willing to try again, it wasn't I'm going to be honest there could be a slight chance that maybe things work out with an ex of yours but from what i've gathered from my ex texting me, is she doesn't want to try again she told me "maybe one day we can try again because i still have feelings for you" but i think that was in all honesty just false hope she had her mind set on moving on from me and the fact that i held onto this "hope" is just bringing me down more, if I were you i wouldn't hold onto that hope to tight because it could just be a let down man. But who knows every ones relationships are different, I wish you best of luck but if she does text you, Don't hold onto that hope too tight man, because it'll come back and smack you in the face. 1
jesse93 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 so you never got her back? well, no this is currently going on as we speak. The thing is i don't know how to try and "win" her back, because i can't tell her i love her and miss her, that'll just push her away even more. I try to make her laugh or smile but she responds back to what i say as if i didn't say anything at all she will respond something like "lol" and its frustrating because shes playing "hard to get" and I think the only thing i'm gaining from this, is nothing i think she can see that i'm trying to win her back and it pushes her away even more. But she keeps telling me she still wants to talk to me, and part of me wants to keep trying even though i hate it so much. I see no progress happening whatsoever, so i feel like its time to give up again and go back to NC. But best of luck to you my friend, just don't hope for the best and expect the worst. 1
Author zues Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 sounds like your situation is too much of a headache. maybe it is best for you to go nc again. thanks for the advice i wont be expecting too much
crimsoncurrent Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 After nearly 7 months of strict NC, and involved in a new relationship, being completely honest with myself, there's still a faint hope that my ex will contact somehow. So, your feeling are certainly not bizarre. Stay strong, man.
Delilah1623 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 (edited) I think we all have those hopes. Hell, I'm moving across the country in a few days and secretly hope he will show up with a ring professing his love and telling me not to go lol Edited August 2, 2013 by Delilah1623 Spelling 4
Jenny1234 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 After nearly 7 months of strict NC, and involved in a new relationship, being completely honest with myself, there's still a faint hope that my ex will contact somehow. So, your feeling are certainly not bizarre. Stay strong, man. Hey atleast you've moved forward and opened yourself to new love...that's a big step! Keep pushing forward...that's all anyone can really do!
emi Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 hope is like a summer bird, easy to go away , but hard to kill been there done that
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Is you Day 3 of no contact also your day 3 from break up? It's really early days and obviously you just wish she'd come back -- you've probably not even processed what happened yet. Even further on, even when you realise it's for the best... sometimes you still hope. For pride. Because you want to know you were worth something to them. You were worth something. You just aren't anymore to their eyes.
Author zues Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 thank you all for your reply. on day 4 and it isint getting easier. only time i dont think about her is when im in the gym working out.
Emma1234 Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Hey, I'm 3 months into my break up and I spent a very long time wishing and waiting for him to come back. The guy I knew 'HAD to come back' but it turns out in the end he wasn't the guy I knew. In 2 years I had idealised our relationship and it is only now that I finally have perspective on it. We were not right for each other and more importantly he wasn't right for me in terms of his emotions. He didn't love as deeply as I thought, the blankness that is always assumed was something deeper was actually just that: blankness. I've finally managed to pull the rose tinted glasses off despite never thinking they existed and the 'perfect guy' I thought he was has disappeared because he wasn't real. It's sad but almost a comfort. You've got such a long road ahead of you and you need to get through it any way that you can, holding onto hope worked for me for a bit but eventually I realised I didn't want him to come back. I never ever thought I'd type those words. You're going to be fine, don't let someone leave you and hurt you like this and then just walk back in even if they do come back. You need to realise how much better than her you are solely for the reason that you didn't give up and you didn't hurt someone you love. You'll be fine, time heals but you need to push through the pain and work on getting over her as well. The pain taught me so much and it gave me a wonderful new perspective on life. Stay strong, you will get through this. 2
Legatus Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Hope.. nasty little thing. I had it as well. Damn sometimes I am still hoping for at least some decency from on her part to say something since our last meeting, which after she could only sent laughable texts. But as everyone is saying. Letting the hope go is the key. I don't think about it too much now. I don't care whether she'll contact me, come back one day or not. I will be in much better place if/when it happens, all hope will be gone!
Lilmzxxx Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Hi Zeus, I'm in day 6 of NC. Had a terrible night last night, drove about the roads we used to drive and just cried my eyes out. I still have it in my head that he is coming back, he just made a mistake. I'm deluded I know.
Author zues Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 hey folks. thanks for your posts they are helping me more than you'll ever know. im on day 5 of NC and im starting to feel better the hope is starting to fade. going out in the city tonight with my friends so hopefully i have a good night. we will all get through this one day at a time
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Thanks, this really helps. At the moment I'm still using the hope to pull me through but I do know from my previous relationships ending that eventually the hope just goes away (you don't even realise, you just stop thinking about it) and the next time you think about it you think "Oh yeah, great times back then, but so wasn't going to last anyway". The only problem is, this time I am dealing with a breakup after over six years and I find it so tough to picture that one day I'll look back at our times together and think "Nice, but I'm way better off without".
Lilmzxxx Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Hi you guys, just thought I'd drop in and see how you were today.
Myonenonly Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 What do you guys make of a text message like this: actually you ignoring pretending like you didn't see me tonight hurt me more than not wanting a relationship with me?
Virgil876 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Yes, can't say that I haven't had the thoughts of getting back together, I'm still in the early stages of 11 days after break up. Thing is all the time you're going to dedicate to thinking about the the other person (in my case, her) and the relationship is going to give you those ideas, which I don't think is bad, idealistic but probably not realistic. As mentioned, the girl isn't the girl I once knew, changed her appearance, changed her plans drastically and seems to be happy without me! What do you guys make of a text message like this: actually you ignoring pretending like you didn't see me tonight hurt me more than not wanting a relationship with me? I think this is going to do more damage in the end. 1
Myonenonly Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Wow! Adding to that I broke the NC after 2.5 weeks... I was the one to brake things off because he didnt want a relationship! His answer was he didn't see me and if he had see me he would've say hi or something
fujidabruin Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Hey everyone, day 9 of full NC and I am up and down every hour it seems. Yes it is so counter-productive to play out the scenario how things could work out..... but we can't help it cause we are still attached to the relationship even if she is a bitch or he is an *******. We are waiting for indifference to come but I think we need to stay busy and happier for that day to come. Hang in there everyone!
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