berkeley1987 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 she broke up with me 2 months ago. since then i've been acting out about the whole thing. i begged and pleaded, even went as far as writing long love letters on why we should be together. she expressed that the more i pushed her, the more she didn't want it. i was quite bitter about everything. accusing her of dumping me for another guy. getting angry at her for deleting pictures of us online. hanging out with a girl who is her enemy just to make her mad. i said some things i regret too. she said she wants to be friends and i responded "i can't be friends with someone i still love, its better if you're out of my life forever!" that made her upset. last time i saw her in person i walked away from her without her knowing, and she texted me why i did that and all. i didn't respond for 2 days, and she texted me that she's never been so hurt in her life. i responded to her and we talked things out, but ended up fighting for the next month. now shes wants to remove me completely from her life. no meeting up, no more social networks, no more phone, no more texting. she says she needs time and space to heal, also to forgive me. she says she doesn't trust me anymore and that i'm not loyal. its been over a week since we've spoken, and now this silent treatment is starting to get to me. i feel the need to apologize for mistakes i've done. i really still love her but she doesn't feel the same anymore. what should i do? i really want her back!
Mrfr Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Well if it were me I'd apologise and then move on with my life. Think about you. 1
Misfortune Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Why'd she leave you? Can't really blame her per say, you did push her to her limits. Just give her what she wants and leave her alone.
aloneinaz Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I never understand why guy/girls continue talking or continue contact after someone tells you they don't want you in their life anymore. You know you made mistakes, so learn from them and LEAVE HER ALONE.. Disappear from her life and go NC so YOU can heal and move on w/your life. You'll find someone else, everyone always does. Again, if you made mistakes, learn from them but to continue to have contact w/her is only going to make you look more desperate, needy and pathetic..
Author berkeley1987 Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 she left me because she wasn't happy. that's it. i told her "you got your wish, i'm out of your life forever." she replied "don't be dramatic, if we mean something, we won't be gone forever. i really care about you but we don't have a chance anytime soon, you can't respect my space." so i'm just going to listen and leave her alone. would you guys think that she maybe open to us getting back together in the future???
Sneaky Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Maybe, but she's not going to start missing your absence in her life unless you are actually absent. Try to focus on yourself and not her and go no contact for your own sanity.
Author berkeley1987 Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 that's true. she said i didn't give her time to think about what she really wants..i have this bad feeling that i ruined my chances of us getting back because i rushed her. would you think i still would have a shot if i left her alone and did me??
Sneaky Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Don't worry a lot of people make the same mistake of trying to fix a situation that is out of their control after a breakup. I did and I felt the same way you did about wanting to apologize for how I handled the break up. The thing is though you need to stop thinking about getting back together right now. Going NC isn't a way to get her back, it's a way to move on and heal. Maybe she will miss you and finally reach out or maybe she will not, but if you keep contacting her you pretty much guarantee that she will not.
Author berkeley1987 Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 we've tried no contact a couple of times, but she kept on wanting to check up on me after a week or so. she did say, "i'll know you're ready to come back into my when you leave me alone." so i should just deal with this, and go through the heartache and pain of not having her in my life for now.
aloneinaz Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 we've tried no contact a couple of times, but she kept on wanting to check up on me after a week or so. she did say, "i'll know you're ready to come back into my when you leave me alone." so i should just deal with this, and go through the heartache and pain of not having her in my life for now. It sucks but you MUST go NC. If she texts, calls or emails you, don't reply. She'll take the hint that your trying to move on. In the mean time, focus on yourself and heal. You can't heal if you keeping having contact w/an ex. At some point you need to get pissed and say "you don't want me in your life, F-YOU then".. And then you'll be on your way to moving on and finding someone who does want you in their life..
Sneaky Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 we've tried no contact a couple of times, but she kept on wanting to check up on me after a week or so. she did say, "i'll know you're ready to come back into my when you leave me alone." so i should just deal with this, and go through the heartache and pain of not having her in my life for now. That's fine, most of us have heartache here. If it helps keep venting here instead of venting to her. Also stay busy to keep your mind off her, it makes things easier. If you have any hobbies, now is the time to get really into them. If not watch some series, read a bit etc. Anything that keeps your mind busy. Hope things improve for you.
reddragon588 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 The best apology you can make is by learning from the mistakes that you want to apologize for and working on yourself to avoid making those same mistakes in the future. She may never know that this "apology" happened, but if you make these positive changes it will not be for naught. You may or may not be able to get back together in the future, but continuing to contact her will take that chance to zero. Desperate is not sexy. Give her her space- and give yourself your space too! If you have "ruined your chances" continuing to contact her will not change that. Trust me, it will get better and NC is the way to do it! If you absolutely feel like you have to contact her, go to the Coping board, there is a thread to post in instead of contacting your ex. I used it yesterday when I almost broke NC and it really helps.
Recommended Posts