hedyo Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I recently met a guy. We've been on a few dates, the last being three weeks ago. The last time we saw each other, he stayed over. We fooled around, but didn't go all the way, as he had performance issues. We were supposed to meet up the weekend after our last date, but our plans ended up falling through. We then agreed to talk after he was back from vacation (a week later). He got in touch ten days after that, basically saying that he wasn't feeling too happy at the moment, and that he was being a little unsociable. I said that was fine, and to get in touch when he felt like doing something, to which he agreed. I suspect he's going through a rough time because he just lost his job. He's been open about the fact that he's a little insecure, and that he has been depressed due to unemployment before. Obviously, the lack of contact and the fact that I haven't seen him for so long would suggest that he isn't that interested. However, I'm wondering to what extent this bad patch could be a cause of it. I'm also wondering whether the problems we had in bed might be partly to blame. If he's already feeling like a failure, might the prospect of impotence be enough to keep him away? I'm not running after him, and I'm not looking to fix him. I'm doing my best to talk to other guys and keep my options open. However, I really liked him. Is he just not that into me, full stop, or might we have a chance if things improve in his life?
Maleficent Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I've delt with depression for years. I was still able to make an effort and hang out with a boy I really liked. If he is so depressed he 'isn't feeling very social at the moment' he needs to see a doctor. Either way I think you should move on.
Author hedyo Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 Just curious what do you look like haha? I'm pretty cute! I don't think that's the problem
Eddie Edirol Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Did he lose his job before you started dating or after? If its before, the answer is obvious. if its after, he could be bummed, different people deal with this different ways. But If I was really interested in a woman, and I'm bummed about losing a job, I'd still want to see her just for the good energy alone, keep my mind off unemployment.
Author hedyo Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 He's pretty lucky than to have you thinking about him cutie. You know I have to say I imagined a not so cute girl chasing the depressed jobless guy haha. I mean he must be good looking or it would be three strikes for him right? Maybe you find depression and joblessness attractive in a man haha. He's pretty average-looking, but I find him charming and enjoy his company. We click. I have "normal" guys with good jobs pursuing me, but I don't really care about that stuff. He's educated and passionate about his field, it just happens to be a field in which it's pretty difficult to get a steady job! Did he lose his job before you started dating or after? If its before, the answer is obvious. if its after, he could be bummed, different people deal with this different ways. But If I was really interested in a woman, and I'm bummed about losing a job, I'd still want to see her just for the good energy alone, keep my mind off unemployment. He knew his position would be terminated sooner or later, but he was hoping to find another job before he lost this one.
MidwestUSA Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Performance issues on a first "encounter" are often related to anxiety. Of course his depression could play a role in it as well. Do not take it personally. It's nice that you are thinking of him during his rough time, but it seems as if he needs some space. He may just not be available (mentally or emotionally) at this time. Good luck! 1
MidwestUSA Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 He's pretty lucky than to have you thinking about him cutie. You know I have to say I imagined a not so cute girl chasing the depressed jobless guy haha. I mean he must be good looking or it would be three strikes for him right? Maybe you find depression and joblessness attractive in a man haha. So, you have three criteria for dating someone: looks, a job, and NOT currently depressed or going thru a rough time. What an attitude. Obviously, OP sees something in him that's held her interest, or she wouldn't be here asking. Wow. 1
Recommended Posts