brandon26003 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I'll try to make this brief...I am a 33 year olf male and she is a 31 year old female. She is divorced with 2 kids. She contacted me on a dating website 3 weeks ago. We went out on a date a few days after. There was instant chemistry and a connection amongst us. A week into dating she mentioned how she is shocked that she could develop feelings for me in such a short period of time. I asked her to become my girlfriend and she was elated. We even made it facebook official. I was also because I am a hopeless romantic and long for love. A week ago I also mentioned that I was beginning to have feelings for her. I noticed an instant change. The I miss you and goodnight texts stopped. I then wake up one morning to a text that she hasn't developed feelings for me yet and she thinks she moved too fast. I accepted that and told her I agreed with any decision she made. Over the course of the day she changed her mind several times. One minute she wanted to change it and the next minute she didn't. I mentioned changing our facebook status back to single and she said she was second guessing her decision to stop seeing one another. She said she wants to focus all of her attention on me because I am everything that she wants in a person. She even went out of her way to delete her dating website profile and reiterated that I'm everything she wants in a man. I've been in similar situations before that ended with my heart being broken. This situation seems different because she isn't into mental games like the last one was. I don't know...I think she is confused because she has been hurt in the past. I don't think there is anyone else. This situation is confusing for me. We agreed to have no contact for a few says so she can have some time to think. Hopefully, it doesn't end like the last one.
Philosoraptor Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I think you need to set the pace here and not leave it up to her, as you are the only one vulnerable here right now. Tell her that you are changing your status until she can prove to you that she can fully commit to a relationship with you. I'm all about love and chemistry, but you can't wait around while she decides what she wants to do. Set boundaries and let her know that until she can prove to you she is serious, this relationship will be casual.
LifeIsGreat Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 1 week does not a relationship make. Moving WAY too fast.
Philosoraptor Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 1 week does not a relationship make. Moving WAY too fast. Missed that, missed the 3 week point as well. No reason to rush anything at all here. I'd throttle it back to casual anyways, as she is indecisive and any spot decision will be rushed. Just slow it down a step and let the chemistry help you decide when it's time to make it more serious. 1
Author brandon26003 Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 Thank you for the advice everyone. I know NC for a few days is best at this point, but I'm concerened about falling into the friend zone. She says that she really cares about me and that I'm everything she wants. She says she needs to figure out if her feelings could develop stronger for me. This is a different sitaution than before. Hopefully the outcome is positive unlike the last time.
blotter Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 You were way too fast to admit your feelings to her. At least wait a few months. You got Beta written all over your face.
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