OverThinker72 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I was thinking today about what I have read on this wonderful forum. There are many of us going through a break up of a relationship, so many express their lack of hope to carry on, while others have moved on and come back to give us strength to do the same. What I was wondering, is this...Has anyone on here ever broken someones heart? I know that I have and when I did I never looked back. I had my reasons and at the time I thought them to be justified. But I hurt people and live with the guilt. I often think of them and wonder what they're doing, just out of curiosty really. This has helped me try and see/understand how the man that broke my heart feels right now. I am nothing to him...he has moved on. Yes, he probably thinks of me sometimes, just like he thinks about his other exes. But I have been where he is now. I'm not a bad person, but feelings do change unfortunately. So, who will fess up to having broken someones heart? xx
Philosoraptor Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Sure, I've done it in relationships and I've done it a ton while single. I was kind, but honest. Was it disheartening? Yes. Did I care about the person's feelings? Absoultely. But I'm not going to let someone else hold on when I've already eliminated any possibility of a long term future with them. They deserve someone who is looking for the same thing they are, and I just wasn't it for them. 1
Misfortune Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I've broken people's hearts. 1: there was a girl that liked since 10th grade. She said I was childish and didn't give me the time of day. She left our school and moved to a new state during the 10th grade school year and came back to my state around senior prom time, saying she realized she loves me and such. It was true. I could see it from the way she treated me, act, introduced me to her parents and such. We never did anything sexually but after a while I told her I couldn't be with her anymore. I just don't feel the same as I did when I was interested in her. It was hard but I felt it was best rather than to lead her on and waste her time. 2: I met a girl at work who liked me and she initiated contact. We dated for about a week before I cut it off with her. She was upset because she really liked me. 3: after that I had a 1 year online relationship with someone who I never met. I ditched her for my current ex without warning and never looked back. Now I've been ditched by the girl that I left her for. <---Karma, no? Since being ditched and gotten my heart broken, I've apologized to all of ex for the way I handled our relationships and treated them. I just felt like its something that I should do. Not looking to get anything out of it. I now understand how it feels to be treated that way. I always try to end relationships before they get too far if I feel I'm not interested. I'm not into wasting anyone's time or breaking hearts if I can avoid it. Everyone I've approached in my lifetime to be in a relationship with, has turned me down. All of exes have been the ones that have approached me. Seems like either way, my relationships fail.
Misfortune Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Sure, I've done it in relationships and I've done it a ton while single. I was kind, but honest. Was it disheartening? Yes. Did I care about the person's feelings? Absoultely. But I'm not going to let someone else hold on when I've already eliminated any possibility of a long term future with them. They deserve someone who is looking for the same thing they are, and I just wasn't it for them. The thing is, there's always a good way to do the dirtiest deeds. Yes I'll be upset that you don't want me anymore, it sucks to lose but I will be a lot less upset about it than if you cheated, disrespected me, lied, can't at least give my questions some answers and things like that. It's not about owing someone/whether you believe someone deserves something; it's just common decency to treat people with respect.
LifeIsGreat Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Who marries their first love and stays with them until death? Almost no one. And even if you are one of those very few, eventually one of your hearts is going to break as you watch the love of your life wither and die. Relationships by their very nature make us vulnerable and the odds of having a broken heart at some time is 100%. Emotional maturity is about learning how to cope with a broken heart, heal, and then be better than before. Seriously, if can't deal with a broken heart (or aren't willing to learn and emotionally mature) then a person should not even consider being in a relationship. And yes, I have broken hearts AND have had my heart broken. There is no reason to feel guilty for that. It's a part of life and the risk we all take getting involved with someone.
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