Star Gazer Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I disagree. hot and cold is an unfortunate part of women's behavior. What did I say that you disagree with? Hot-and-cold is not reserved for women.
colombiana28 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 the original post could have been written about me. as a multi-dater, that's my dating style. don't want a boyfriend, I've been in a 4 year and a 3 year long relationship and all I want right now is casual fun. when I meet guys online, we meet up 2-3 times a month, have a great time, and we don't really talk/text much outside of that small amount of face-to-face time. in fact we probably have way more fun than if it were a "proper dating situation". it's just how some people operate, and I've luckily found fun dudes who want the same no-strings-attached setup. true, when you meet someone who blows your socks off you re-evaluate things and maybe think of exclusivity, but in the meantime you just have some laid-back fun. why does everything have to have some sort of end-goal? tbh the fact that she pays for half the dates makes me think she has more of a carefree attitude toward dating and sex like me rather than a "lady wanting to be courted" like some people in this thread have stated.
Author Bo_Diddley Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 (edited) Exactly. Not initiating and not responding are two different things. The OP has terms the woman's behavior hot-and-cold. There's nothing cold about it. She's been receptive and responsive. Hm, perhaps you're right that there's not much real cold going on here. I am rather impulsive and have few reservations about jumping in with both feet (not just with love). So when I say I have dating experience but none like this, perhaps it's because I've always attracted / been attracted to similar personalities who eagerly dive in without too much thought. And even as a man, I do certainly find it hot when the woman initiates! The fast-forward approach definitely burned me a few times, but also resulted in a few great, steady relationships. I'm headed into my late 20s now though. Maybe I need to re-evaluate the dating game since my university days... Anyway, I've calmed down a lot since I made the first post. I've decided to ask her out again, and I'll go with Star Gazer's suggestion to just tell her that I'm having trouble figuring out if she's truly interested, and see how that talk goes. As for the casual dating comment, I'm not interested in that right now - too much else going on that I won't pass up a real opportunity for love, but not interested in casual - so if that's what she wants, I'm out. So yes, I feel I definitely want a straight answer about her intentions. Thanks for the responses. Edited August 2, 2013 by Bo_Diddley
ChatroomHero Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 . why does everything have to have some sort of end-goal? Most people date to find love. Many people just don't want a random sex partner that they go out with once in a while, someone that is casually bumping uglies with 4-5 other guys at the same time. If sex is not involved, then I don't get what that casual dating situation would give in return that someone could not get from hanging out with friends. In your situation that may be great for you, but if you meet someone that blows your socks off how much fun is it going to be when he is blowing 4-5 women's socks off and just considers you one of his casual interests when there is no game on tv? When you re-evaluate and realize you like someone who is casually dating you. I think you'll see the other side of the coin and realize it's not "fun-casual" unless both people are only quasi-interested.
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