Willow29 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Hey everyone, I have been looking at these forums for the past few weeks reading peoples break up storys and advice and have found some much needed support although at times alittle sadness at times while reading these forums as memorys come flooding back. Im here today to firstly tell my story to you all and to ask whats my options and advice. my story, I am a 28 (nearly 29) year old man who around 8 months ago met a 28 year old turkish lady. We started to date one another and I knew right away we had chemistry, it was like something i have never experienced before ,almost instant...something was just there....and i could see and feel it. We started to date one another and were in contact with one another the following few weeks and months and I can not stress how much of an amazing time we were both having during this period! I found out pretty early on in the relationship that her family would not know about me anytime soon because of cultural differences and what not it was too early to introduce me...and only when the time was right she would introduce me,although I did meet her sister one time and she did tell her work freinds about me too also. I did used to question to her things like "what and when you introduce me and they dont agree what will happen then ?" she insisted to me that she would fight for me as she is 28 and older enough to decide who she dates,within reason. Anyway the weeks and months ticked by date after date romance after romance things were great. In the beginning she mentioned to me that in May she would need time alone to study for some important exams for her work (she was very work focused) which I agreed too although a little disheartned as she would need 3 weeks to prepare for these meaning very little if not no pysical contact for the entire period. She kept telling me how important these exams were for the progression of her job. I was alittle upset as May came around as in May was her birthday and I had a special gift i had prepared for her that i was dying to give to her but I had to wait til after these exams to give it. during this may period we did meet acouple of times ,once she stayed around mine one night and the other I met her for lunch while she took a break from studying the rest of the time was keeping in touch with daily texts and evening phone calls for the most part....man it was tough. I was fully supportive during this time and was there for her to call after her exams and before bed giving her words of support and someone to speak too. after these exams it was my time to meet her and my time to give her this gift i had spent months planning and making.. we met and she looked amazing even wore makeup which she hardly ever does i could tell she was trying to look nice for me. so i took her to a special place that related to her nickname i had given her sat her down and gave her my gift. My gift ? .... if you have ever seen a film pixars UP! you know the adventure book right ? well i made an exact copy called it "our adventure book" and filled it with photos and notes and menus from all the places we met and dated.... i even put half way through the book "things were going to do" and left the remaining pages blank to allow us to continue to fill these ups with future dates and adventures... one important thing to know is that i left a note sealed and stuck to the very back page with a sign written in turkish saying "please do not open until further notice" as I had written a very special message which I wont say here today but its not the "will you marry me" one i didnt think ahead that much! Anyway she started to cry when I gave her this gift and it truely touched her... this is where I think the problem started, it was almost 2 weeks from that day she broke up with me . she became distant started getting into moods and giving me the word word answer treatment....I did nothing ! then we arranged a couple of meets but I wasnt looking forward to these I knew something was up! we met had a date and i expressed I wasnt going to come and she froze on the spot shocked... I told her Im fed with with her moods and why she acting like this ? she took it personally saying this is how she is !? but it wasnt... the date ended up going pretty well regardless and we kissed and hugged and I could see in her eyes it was still there. a couple of days later... after again going back to being cold and distant with me which was making me feel really uneasy we met for a date and afterwards i said we need to talk we sat down and I told her again whats up ? to cut a long story short she told me while breaking down she couldnt be herself around me she doesnt know why but at the start she used to look forward to seeing me and dont know what happenered. I was heartbroken we sat there for 20 mins chatting not rowing or causing a scene I said to her "dont you want to be with me no more ?" to which she just shock her head while crying....i asked " are you sure you want this ?" and she nodded and I walked off and that was the last time I saw her . its important to note that around 3-4 weeks before breakign up she texted me twice "i think im falling for you and ill be upset if you didnt feel the same" to which i replied i feel the same. shortly after we had another date and i let slip out the I Love you comment while trying to tell her how happy i was yet i got nothing back just a shocked almost emotionless look and i felt horrible. she wasnt very emotionally giving as a person more of a pysical person who loved to show affection by kissing,hugging and holding hands while i was the one who showed my loved by nice genstures and words, yet we connected we both got something we needed in this relationship. Also once when she stayed around during sex she started to have a panic attack ? i was shocked as i felt i did something wrong and still dont understand it right afterwards she stopped and started to cry... please try to explain this to me ? as i did ask but i didnt get anything out of her. i didnt beg after the breakup just told her i had to take her of facebook as it would be too hard for me,she understood. and i sent her atext the next day saying i want to make it work ect but she said better to break up now rather then it be more painful later... I said to her to which i didnt get a response "i think your worried when things get serious for you you will get hurt so your doing this to protect you " a week of NC went by and she got intouch again we spoke for a couple of hours and that was it. then same time next week she got incontact with me and she called and we spoke for hours faling asleep with one another she even kissed me over the phone as she fell asleep... then she started to pull back a little contact here or there on both sides but now its bean almost a month without any contact on both sides ! so any advice would be helpful on what to do if anything at all. i thought of many reasons to this relationship ending... reasons such as her family when we both get really deep and they not agreeing i though she might has commitment issues and trust issues with men breaking her heart i just dont know, i was nothing but caring and loving and i gave her all of my heart. thanks for reading my story and I can add any more details later on if need be. PS when i last spoke to her almost a month ago she still hasnt opened that note i wrote for her in the back of the book.
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