lukekarts Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Over 4 weeks on from a 10 year relationship (and being dumped via text, I like to reiterate this one although it's getting old now). - I've reignited my passion for things... bought a new car, new clothes, going out for drinks, - I'm starting to find things enjoyable again and finding other women attractive again. - I'm starting to see my ex for what she was (horribly selfish) and I don't know right now if I'd take her back. I feel like I've got things in line and yet I still feel really empty. What do you guys do, when you're sitting down at work, and then this whole sick/empty feeling comes over you? How do you shake it? How do you focus? Are there any tricks or techniques you guys can help me with that can help alleviate these horrible anxious feelings at inappropriate times?
Philosoraptor Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Just let it pass and put your focus on something you enjoy. You can even keep a little postivie knick knack in your pocket to help you put your focus somewhere else.
Sneaky Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I know exactly the feeling you are talking about and so far I've not really found anything. It really sucks, because it just happens while I doing my best to keep busy to keep my mind off her. But while keeping busy helps against intrusive thoughts, that feeling does not care and will just hit you in the chest no matter what you're doing.
aloneinaz Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 My man, you're doing great! Recognize that this is perfectly normal to have periods or as I call them "waves" of what you described. They get less frequent and the intensity of them eases as times passes. As raptor said, simply let the thoughts pass and don't give them too much attention. Time is your friend. Its good that you're looking at other woman and finding them attractive. You'll know when you're ready to start casual dating. That would be your next step. Im 9 weeks NC since the end of my toxic relationship. We'd broken up several times this year and I was done. I started dating 3 weeks after the end. I've now been dating a girl for almost a month. I find it a great distraction and healing for me to have that female company, sex, attention, etc.. It doesn't wipe out nor prevent me from thinking of the ex but in my case, I feel it's helped me not go back to her yet again and recognize how emotionally unstable she was. Again, you're doing great!
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