She immediately went into another relationship.

[Stay]

Ok it's quite complicated but to start it off I want to say I'm completely NEVER getting back with her, I blocked where wherever I could, burned everything that I have of us, will ignore her contacts, etc. I don't want anything to do with this liar, unfaithful, and immature person.

 

With that out of the way I want to say she got into another relationship rather quickly, pretty much as soon as we moved out. Here's the thing I know she's been talking to this person while we were dating, getting to know him, etc. Cheating on me emotionally. One day she had enough and broke up with me over a very minor argument, I knew something wasn't normal. She started to lie and do things behind my back and at the same time strung me along and led me on that we could possibly get back together. (The whole time she was just unsure what she wanted) Anyways so once she told me she's talking to someone else I was done with her after that. She didn't tell me the whole thing and still beat around the bush and lied about things, details were found out by just putting the pieces together, etc.

 

Anyways they're pretty much living together and spending a tremendous amount of time together from what I know, I'm not stalking or anything but word seems to spread fast and come back to me for what reason I don't know and I don't really care. But I was just wondering, GIGS? Rebound? What is this?

 

It's been 6 months since we were broken up and about 1 month since she stopped stringing me along.

 

At first it was shock, then hate, now I don't know what I'm feeling. It's like I feel sorry for her because she kinda ruined her image/reputation. Nobody really respects her anymore since she always talks about others how they're cheating and being unfaithful but yet she's here doing the same thing, hypocritical. I just want to figure out why I'm feeling bad but yet if I hear someone talking about her my hate comes back.

 

I keep myself busy, been hanging out with some girls... They kinda seem to just come out of no where after hearing what happened. It's just all fun right now and I enjoy the company and ego boost. Everyone tells me I'm a good guy, sweet person, genuine, etc. but I tend to not think too highly of myself so it feels good to be told that stuff. I always try to be the best person I can be and I think my ex saw that, that's why it was so difficult for her to make her decision.

[supaflyz]

man screw her. what a pathetic person stringing you along. It sucks that you are going through this.

[Renard99]

It’s most likely a case of Grass Is Greener. If she was already scouting out this other guy there’s every chance that she decided to jump ship to see what it was like elsewhere. There will be a small element of rebound in there, i.e she didn’t want to be alone for any period between the relationships but, I think, for the most part, you’re dealing with a GIGS case here.

 

Sorry mate, I know it sucks, My ex left me due to a case of GIGS, but you’ll get over it, trust me.

[Stay]

I mean at this point I'm not depressed or anything, it's fairly normal because learning what she did to me kinda made it easier on my half. I have no respect for people like that and that's what made it easier to drop her, almost 7 years and I didn't think it'll be easier, at first it was very difficult but after learning about why she left I can care less.

 

My main reason I wonder this is because honestly I don't think she feels like she's in the wrong at all. I really would like her to experience the pain she had caused me, I believe in karma.. I really don't wish anything bad but it would be satisfying for her to realize what she had one day. Is it wrong to think like this?

 

I'm glad this happened because this isn't a first incident, the breakup allowed me to find out more about her than I had known. She had kissed a guy and hid it from me years back and never told me. She's just immature and looking for attention from anyone that gives it to her.

 

I don't want to wish anything upon another person but I just think what's going on now is a downward spiral that will crash. She basically jumped into another relationship and didn't have anytime alone to think about anything. She's spending time with him like she does with me, we built that up for a long time and I just don't see it being true for them to move so fast? I feel like moving at their pace is playing with fire.

 

Idk, I've been fine for a month but lately I don't know if I feel hatred, sadness, or just feel bad for her.

 

It doesn't make it any easier that this guy knew she had a bf during the time and still continued things. Ugh! Where has all the respect gone for people, obviously if she does this to a long term relationship she can possibly do it to him in the future... What does he not understand.

 

Sorry I'm a little all over the place, not sure how I'm feeling. I was doing so well until now... I'm not horrible but I don't feel 100% like I was a few weeks ago. Honestly she doesn't even deserve any of my energy and I try not to think about anything but it pops in once in a while.

Edited August 1, 2013 by Stay

[darkmoon]

hardly any live-ins last, I wouldn't worry, her looks will not last either, no more jollies then

[OverThinker72]

My ex was talking with someone else before he ended too and I know they are together now. He doesn't know that I know. The day he ended it I got rid of every memory I had of him, well now I'm just working on getting rid of him from my heart and mind. It does hurt but it also helps destroy that perfect image you had of them. It also gives you a push to let go. I'm not even angry, more like disappointed to be honest. I have stuck to no contact from the day he ended it. I won't dwell over a pathetic lying cheating plonker. I deserve better treatment and so do you. Feck em! Yeah it's painful but at least we live with a clear conscience. Jumping from one relationship to another so easily will just lead to heartache for them

[bob the brave]

You're on the right track Kiddo, just stay strong. It will get easier over time.

 

People like this are selfish. That is how they are able to dismiss people so easily.

 

You sound like a smart girl with integrity and spunk. His loss. I think you will have no probelm finding a good guy that will truly care about you.

[bob the brave]

You get pissed because you were betrayed. Simple as that. These things are complex, feelings of love, hate and ego all mixed in a blender like a cocktail from hell.

 

But you hit the nail on the head. She is VERY immature and selfish. She will only hurt others and you are lucky to be free to find someone worthy of your love. Just give it time.

[orionboxing]

People like your ex will always have GIGS...it's in their DNA.

 

People generally do not change. Sure, they learn new things and have new experiences, but who you are at your core and how you handle life is so deeply rooted that it is nearly impossible to change. Look at the aunt or uncle you've known for ages...how are they any different from the day you remember meeting them?

 

I will let you know that your ex will do all the same things, good and bad, to her new partner. Once the honeymoon phase ends in any relationship, people are generally uncovered, the mask is off, and reality sets in. She is now someone else's problem.

 

Will you miss the fighting, the immaturity, other anything else she pulled on you?

 

Even if your ex would have taken a month break from relationships after you split, that is still not enough time for personal exploration, especially after 7 years. The problems are still present, just buried, and she looks great now from a distance, but it's a mirage, and it will be an absolute *****-storm once it crumbles. He'll be worse off than you ever were, since this was a relationship built on deceit.

 

I know it's tough, I'm going through the same thing now myself, but you've got to completely ignore what has happened, and work on rebuilding yourself. Be happy with yourself that you have the ability to love.

 

Put yourself above her...and rid yourself of this toxic woman.

[Misfortune]

My moved out with her gf the day I confronted her. We were living with her parents and wanted to move out but we couldn't realistically. She also wanted to move to another state and I said no; she holds a grudge for that. I was just being logical, if we can't afford an apartment how can we afford to move to and live in another state? But she found someone who will give her everything she wants without argument and she jumped at the chance. Said she gave her family and I many chances to make her happy and now she's making herself happy.

 

I don't get these people and I never will.

[Stay]

hardly any live-ins last, I wouldn't worry, her looks will not last either, no more jollies then

 

I wasn't worried but for some reason it just came out of no where. I already know everything is taking a toll on her because all of mutual friends don't care too much about her anymore after seeing all of this. She's kinda digging a hole for herself and she thinks she's not wrong. She seem to have no shame and brings him around our mutual friends, obviously they won't give her much respect knowing what went on.

 

My ex was talking with someone else before he ended too and I know they are together now. He doesn't know that I know. The day he ended it I got rid of every memory I had of him, well now I'm just working on getting rid of him from my heart and mind. It does hurt but it also helps destroy that perfect image you had of them. It also gives you a push to let go. I'm not even angry, more like disappointed to be honest. I have stuck to no contact from the day he ended it. I won't dwell over a pathetic lying cheating plonker. I deserve better treatment and so do you. Feck em! Yeah it's painful but at least we live with a clear conscience. Jumping from one relationship to another so easily will just lead to heartache for them

 

I feel exactly how you feel. Getting rid of everything was a really good feeling, it allowed me to be able to let go and actually not think about anything.

 

You get pissed because you were betrayed. Simple as that. These things are complex, feelings of love, hate and ego all mixed in a blender like a cocktail from hell.

 

But you hit the nail on the head. She is VERY immature and selfish. She will only hurt others and you are lucky to be free to find someone worthy of your love. Just give it time.

 

I actually do feel free knowing what she has done, I'm glad it happened because it seems like this is a natural habit of hers. So it would have happened sooner or later. Obviously I do think what if I was with someone else, I think it's pretty natural but do I act upon it? No, because I appreciate what I have in front of me and if that's good for me then there is no reason for me to go looking. She thought otherwise, I pretty much feel like the years that she's been with me was for a safety net. I feel like she's been looking around the whole time and never really committed like she made herself seem to be.

 

People like your ex will always have GIGS...it's in their DNA.

 

People generally do not change. Sure, they learn new things and have new experiences, but who you are at your core and how you handle life is so deeply rooted that it is nearly impossible to change. Look at the aunt or uncle you've known for ages...how are they any different from the day you remember meeting them?

 

I will let you know that your ex will do all the same things, good and bad, to her new partner. Once the honeymoon phase ends in any relationship, people are generally uncovered, the mask is off, and reality sets in. She is now someone else's problem.

 

Will you miss the fighting, the immaturity, other anything else she pulled on you?

 

Even if your ex would have taken a month break from relationships after you split, that is still not enough time for personal exploration, especially after 7 years. The problems are still present, just buried, and she looks great now from a distance, but it's a mirage, and it will be an absolute *****-storm once it crumbles. He'll be worse off than you ever were, since this was a relationship built on deceit.

 

I know it's tough, I'm going through the same thing now myself, but you've got to completely ignore what has happened, and work on rebuilding yourself. Be happy with yourself that you have the ability to love.

 

Put yourself above her...and rid yourself of this toxic woman.

 

Yes! Thank you! I personally think it's in her natural self to do and feel like that. I know from experience since it's really not a first time occurrence, there has been minor experiences before and I gave her chances but it didn't really matter. This is why it was easier to drop her completely because of the things she had put me through. She always plays victim and think there's nothing wrong with her and what she's doing so I have a sense it'll happen again. If that guy knew she did this to a long term relationship he should be worried about her doing it to her and I think in the back of his mind it'll hit him one day also.

 

My moved out with her gf the day I confronted her. We were living with her parents and wanted to move out but we couldn't realistically. She also wanted to move to another state and I said no; she holds a grudge for that. I was just being logical, if we can't afford an apartment how can we afford to move to and live in another state? But she found someone who will give her everything she wants without argument and she jumped at the chance. Said she gave her family and I many chances to make her happy and now she's making herself happy.

 

I don't get these people and I never will.

 

That's wrong, she's being very selfish for that. Sounds like you'll be better off alone anyways, I cannot stand people that drop others just like that. It might be better at the moment but in the long run the people that stick with you are the people you need to keep in your life. It seems like it's hard to find a genuine and dedicated person nowadays. Everyone seems to be wanting to do a lot of things for themselves.. At least in some countries.

[Misfortune]

I know it's selfish but nothing I or anyone can do/tell her. She's 25; her own woman. I'm only disappointed that we got married in January(she pushed for it) and she abandoned me by june(claims she's gay now. Worst birthday present Evar). Probably left the relationship emotionally b4 that but I found out in June. Had all her "friends" support. The same ones she cried to me about, the ones who attended our wedding/wished us the best, the ones who smiled in my face and the same ones who claim that they all knew she was gay since they knew her.

 

I personally would never let my friend do something like this to someone but that's just me. Just seem like a bunch of yes men/women to me. Agree with w/e she says/does. And most of em being single didn't help my case any.

 

Most people seem selfish and just in it for the honeymoon phase feelings. Everything is disposable/replaceable these days, even people. Why fight for your relationship when you can get with the next person that likes your comment on fb. A lot of people are getting "married" and want out by the next week or w/e. People are never satisfied but they continue to use others advance their shameful/deceitful agendas.

Edited August 1, 2013 by Misfortune

[Stay]

I know it's selfish but nothing I or anyone can do/tell her. She's 25; her own woman. I'm only disappointed that we got married in January(she pushed for it) and she abandoned me by june(claims she's gay now. Worst birthday present Evar). Probably left the relationship emotionally b4 that but I found out in June. Had all her "friends" support. The same ones she cried to me about, the ones who attended our wedding/wished us the best, the ones who smiled in my face and the same ones who claim that they all knew she was gay since they knew her.

 

I personally would never let my friend do something like this to someone but that's just me. Just seem like a bunch of yes men/women to me. Agree with w/e she says/does. And most of em being single didn't help my case any.

 

Most people seem selfish and just in it for the honeymoon phase feelings. Everything is disposable/replaceable these days, even people. Why fight for your relationship when you can get with the next person that likes your comment on fb. A lot of people are getting "married" and want out by the next week or w/e. People are never satisfied but they continue to use others advance their shameful/deceitful agendas.

 

Well said and I agree with everything, it's not all about the honeymoon phase... Sure it's a great feeling but there's more to it than that. Honeymoon phase is exactly that, a phase.. It'll never last forever. The only thing that can last forever is what you believe in and if you put in all your efforts in a relationship it will last forever. Too much expectations and I blame the media, it really puts a filter on real life.

[Stay]

She contacted me to tie some loose ends but I didn't respond, she contacted me again wondering if I got the message. Should I respond? I really don't want to but I don't want to be rude either.

[Misfortune]

If it isn't anything that you absolutely have to do, don't reply. You're worried about being rude? To her? The one that treated you with utmost respect and honesty?

[onearthur]

Stay,

 

Your mind is looking for answers, it's natural to know the why.

 

I've been through this pain myself and breaking up / coping is really tough, you have to be honest and admit what your going through is huge! Only then will the gravity of this hit you and make you realise that some things just happen in life and we have to learn to accept them.

 

Don't let it change who you fundamentally are, but embrace it and be thankful for the experience. The heart falls in love where the mind has no control and that's the beauty of love. As you loved her, you will love again.

 

And remember, what goes around comes around... ;-)

 

Keep us posted as to how you get on.

 

Stay strong & tough!

 

 

 

Ok it's quite complicated but to start it off I want to say I'm completely NEVER getting back with her, I blocked where wherever I could, burned everything that I have of us, will ignore her contacts, etc. I don't want anything to do with this liar, unfaithful, and immature person.

 

With that out of the way I want to say she got into another relationship rather quickly, pretty much as soon as we moved out. Here's the thing I know she's been talking to this person while we were dating, getting to know him, etc. Cheating on me emotionally. One day she had enough and broke up with me over a very minor argument, I knew something wasn't normal. She started to lie and do things behind my back and at the same time strung me along and led me on that we could possibly get back together. (The whole time she was just unsure what she wanted) Anyways so once she told me she's talking to someone else I was done with her after that. She didn't tell me the whole thing and still beat around the bush and lied about things, details were found out by just putting the pieces together, etc.

 

Anyways they're pretty much living together and spending a tremendous amount of time together from what I know, I'm not stalking or anything but word seems to spread fast and come back to me for what reason I don't know and I don't really care. But I was just wondering, GIGS? Rebound? What is this?

 

It's been 6 months since we were broken up and about 1 month since she stopped stringing me along.

 

At first it was shock, then hate, now I don't know what I'm feeling. It's like I feel sorry for her because she kinda ruined her image/reputation. Nobody really respects her anymore since she always talks about others how they're cheating and being unfaithful but yet she's here doing the same thing, hypocritical. I just want to figure out why I'm feeling bad but yet if I hear someone talking about her my hate comes back.

 

I keep myself busy, been hanging out with some girls... They kinda seem to just come out of no where after hearing what happened. It's just all fun right now and I enjoy the company and ego boost. Everyone tells me I'm a good guy, sweet person, genuine, etc. but I tend to not think too highly of myself so it feels good to be told that stuff. I always try to be the best person I can be and I think my ex saw that, that's why it was so difficult for her to make her decision.

[Stay]

If it isn't anything that you absolutely have to do, don't reply. You're worried about being rude? To her? The one that treated you with utmost respect and honesty?

 

It really isn't anything to respond with, a response will just confirm I got it so I guess it's not really necessary.

[Stay]

Stay,

 

Your mind is looking for answers, it's natural to know the why.

 

I've been through this pain myself and breaking up / coping is really tough, you have to be honest and admit what your going through is huge! Only then will the gravity of this hit you and make you realise that some things just happen in life and we have to learn to accept them.

 

Don't let it change who you fundamentally are, but embrace it and be thankful for the experience. The heart falls in love where the mind has no control and that's the beauty of love. As you loved her, you will love again.

 

And remember, what goes around comes around... ;-)

 

Keep us posted as to how you get on.

 

Stay strong & tough!

 

Thank you! I already have accepted what happened, I feel happy that it happened because it avoided future issues. Right now I just don't know who I really am, I feel like I messed up somehow but I know in reality there wasn't much I could do. I try to better myself everyway possible and I know I can be harsh on myself at times but that's how I am, I always want to be the best I could be... Didn't have the easiest life growing up and I want to change that for my future family and treat my wife the best I can because I never had a father by my side growing up. Sometimes I think I overwhelm myself trying to achieve all this but I think life would be boring not expecting the best and most you can do out of it.

[Xiphias92]

Thank you! I already have accepted what happened, I feel happy that it happened because it avoided future issues. Right now I just don't know who I really am, I feel like I messed up somehow but I know in reality there wasn't much I could do. I try to better myself everyway possible and I know I can be harsh on myself at times but that's how I am, I always want to be the best I could be... Didn't have the easiest life growing up and I want to change that for my future family and treat my wife the best I can because I never had a father by my side growing up. Sometimes I think I overwhelm myself trying to achieve all this but I think life would be boring not expecting the best and most you can do out of it.

 

You dodged a bullet. I salute you

 

Imagine if this was a much longer relationship - Married, kids, highly stressful job, constant travel, etc....and then GIGS kicks in? Ouch!

[Stay]

You dodged a bullet. I salute you

 

Imagine if this was a much longer relationship - Married, kids, highly stressful job, constant travel, etc....and then GIGS kicks in? Ouch!

 

Exactly! I realized she has always had the GIGS because there was another minor incident hidden and a few more prevented. Ugh dumb that I stayed but I believed in her, she didn't believe in herself as much as I did however.

 

I'm so glad it was like this, school was getting in the way but nothing really that wasn't salvageable. Imagine if we had kids and all we did was work and come home, boring... she would want something more exciting.

[Xiphias92]

She didn't believe in herself as much as I did however.

 

That caught my attention, it was flawed since the beginning.

Come to think of it...after all what had happened...what did you really lose?

 

Well now you can freely attack schoolwork and propel your life to a higher place.

 

Now give YOURSELF something more exciting. You deserve it.

[Stay]

That caught my attention, it was flawed since the beginning.

Come to think of it...after all what had happened...what did you really lose?

 

Well now you can freely attack schoolwork and propel your life to a higher place.

 

Now give YOURSELF something more exciting. You deserve it.

 

Yea I noticed it wasn't what I expected so yea off to bigger and better things!

[onearthur]

All you need to be is aware, that's all.

 

You will not let your family end up as you did as your mind will never allow that to happen if you are aware. We all need to have an aim in life, but at times we should go with the flow.

 

"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

-Steve Jobs.

 

Hope that is helpful.

 

Sometimes I think I overwhelm myself trying to achieve all this but I think life would be boring not expecting the best and most you can do out of it.

[Stay]

All you need to be is aware, that's all.

 

You will not let your family end up as you did as your mind will never allow that to happen if you are aware. We all need to have an aim in life, but at times we should go with the flow.

 

"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

-Steve Jobs.

 

Hope that is helpful.

 

You're right, life didn't turn out exactly how I expected. School wise at least, it's being delayed more than I like. I'm not happy it's going this path but there's nothing much I can do except to accept it as it is and maybe the reason it went a different path is because it's a better path for me. One day I can hopefully look back and glad that it didn't go as planned. I really appreciate all the words everyone put in this thread, it put me back to where I should be.

 

Another thing, she was repaying me what she borrowed and yesterday contacted me and I didn't respond, today she used a different form of contact to ask if I got the other one yesterday. I feel like I don't need to respond and don't want to but maybe she's just making sure I got it and confirming? Being the person I am I would reply out of maturity and just to confirm with her but part of me thinks why should I give her any sort of reply at all, it'll just cause her to be in a better place by seeing my reply. Btw the transaction went through, she just wanted a response.