anomaly Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I am just looking for a little perspective from other people with their experiences. I've been dating a woman for over 3 months now. We met online and are both in our 30s. It started out great. There was definitely a mutual spark, interest, and connection. We had several dates over a month and a half where we met up and talked a lot over coffee, dinner, or just simply walking around. At about 2 months we talked about how much we like each other and would like to see where this goes. I took that as a sign that it was becoming more serious. So I started becoming more affectionate with her, holding her hand, putting my arm around her. And we were also communicated a lot more in between dates. Shortly after a long and great date, she surprised me by asking me out (I had initiated every date up to that point). I took that a positive step forward. However, since that point in time, she's become distant, less interested and communicative. She hasn't been emotionally present in most dates we've had since then and just seems to want to catch up like we're friends. The conversation sometimes feels flat. We eventually talked and she said she had a lot going on with work and moving and was simply tired but restated that she loves spending time with me and just wants to takes things slowly. We haven't kissed which makes me feel weird even though I tried initiating once and she pulled back. It's been like this for over a month now and I haven't seen any change from her. I hardly hear from her in between dates which have become less frequent. I'm just not sure what to do anymore and whether to keep pursuing this or just give her space. I've given her a lot of space already but it doesn't seem to be helping. I am starting to think she's not ready or doesn't know what she wants. It hurts because it started so well and I felt this was the start of something special but I have no idea what happened or what to do. Any perspective would be helpful.
Author anomaly Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 Thanks Maverick. That thought had crossed my mind so I may do that if it doesn't seem to go anywhere soon.
jphcbpa Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 if in 3 months of dating you have not kissed, then she is not that interested frankly. I agree, get back online and move forward. Be thankful for your time with her and do not take anything she did or did not do personal.
soccerrprp Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I don't see how you are being too pushy or coming on too strong. You've been dating for 3+ months and it sounds like to me that you have been reasonable. No kiss up to this point? The only time you moved in, she resisted? This sounds like she is not THAT interested in you. That she has doubts about you and the relationship and is likely weening herself off you. I mean, really, no kiss after 3 months?! Any girl who is into you would have kissed you long ago, but again, you didn't try but once. You can stop contacting her and see what she does and if she does continue to show interest tell her what you're feeling. Go from there, but be prepared to move on and get back to looking for someone else.
Author anomaly Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 Thanks for the advice soccerrprp and jphcbpa. I have tried the no contact thing a few times and she eventually has come around to see how I'm doing and catch up. Let me clarify and say that neither of us move fast and I know she's not seeing anyone else. Nor do I think she's not interested. She's a very genuine person so I don't believe she would keep this going unless she had some interest. Deep down, I think she's not ready and doesn't know how to deal with that even though she wants to be. I'm leaning towards giving her more space and moving on for the time being.
PCS991 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Sleep with her as soon as possible. I like your idea, I'll need to try that very soon with my LDR
Recommended Posts