Menina Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Is it a booty call if no one agrees on anything? So I've been casually seeing this guy for over 4 months. We started as an ONS but began seeing each other almost every week. We've never agreed on anything but the first thing I told him was that I wasnt ready for a relationship since I recently broke up. My previous BC experiences were the typical vampirical late night calls, come and go, never stay and never meet friends/family or even see each other during daylight (ahh the sun, it burns). With this guy I've met his closest friends - I even have some of them in FB - we've gone out, he invite me to his business events (he owns a show venue) and I stay overnight not necesarrily for the booty. BUT we never call each other during the week, we dont go out on proper dates (he invested all his.money on his new business and I'm living the hermit live trying to save) and we only text to set up our meetings/dates(?) (though we both have extremely busy lives). So, guys specially, is this normal BC behaviour or would you consider it as dating/casually dating. (Rather ask here before having the talk in real life)
Author Menina Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 (edited) Mostly work, personal life (my thesis, his new business) but sometimes we have this deep conversations about the world (capitalism, solidarity, GMOs) we're really into environmental and social jusfice, and we're both readers, so our deepest conersations revolves around that. However most of the time we just talk about how everything's been going on our live, though I have to admit that he's opened more to me than I to him (I just have my protective shell on). I have had deeper conversations with him than with my ex bf of three year. Edited August 1, 2013 by Menina error
Pyro Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Sounds more like a friends with benefits situation being that you hang out even when sex is not involved. 1
Author Menina Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 I dont know. Escort? He's talked about his biggest frustrations and goals, but I don't like opening up.too much to him for fear of ending talking about my ex, thats why during our conversations I'm mainly the listener (which Im very good at and many people end up telling me their whole lives). Not talking on the phone has also been one if the biggest indicators of BC instead of dating, but he's not big of a phone talker, when he's with me and receives a call all he have is small talk.
Author Menina Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 Sounds more like a friends with benefits situation being that you hang out even when sex is not involved. Lol so many labels, but now that you mention it it does look like a FWB situation. I'm ready to start dating, really dating, but I wanted to know where I stand and maybe if this could evolve, or have a chance to evolve, into serious dating.
Pyro Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Lol so many labels, but now that you mention it it does look like a FWB situation. I'm ready to start dating, really dating, but I wanted to know where I stand and maybe if this could evolve, or have a chance to evolve, into serious dating. It could but that would involve both of you taking risks by opening up to each other gradually. I understand that you both have busy lives but to be considered serious IMO you will need to make time for each other during the week too.
Author Menina Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 Thank you both, I guess it is time for me to open up. I never had a healing period post breakup because I met this guy the week after I broke it up with my ex (and I was angry and bitter and a little vengeful) so it's difficult for me to open up to him and I'm even scared about rejection. But the only way to truly know is by talking, the worst that could happen is to continue having a friendship (if that's possible) so it's not that bad. Thanks again for the advice. 1
Sunshine87 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I honestly don't know why women tell men they meet, that they aren't looking for anything serious. However months later, they begin to want more. Why sabotage the relationship from the beginning? Most often than not, women tend to fall "in like" or develop an emotional attachment after spending some time with guys. Let's stop acting like we are toughies. Many men want casual sex and relationships so would only be too pleased to hear a girl tell them that they don't want anything serious. That sort of statement basically invites all the unserious men. Next time,simply say something "I just got out a relationship so ild prefer to take things a bit slow". This was, you ensure that you don't stifle the potential growth of the relationships by putting it in the FWB/casual dating category. Do talk to him and I hope everything works out.xxx
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