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Better to Walk away


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Posted

So, I told this guy that I was moving on after communicating with him for 2 months and feeling like he wasn't meeting the basic standards that I have for a potential boyfriend. Basically, in the beginning, he was super sweet and talked about him coming to see me since we live a bit far from each other. However, over time, I felt like he was pulling away with less communication--he would not reciprocate the sweet messages I would text him and also wouldn't call anymore--basically, texting was his thing although I had distinctly told him that I preferred calls. Anyhow, when I decided that I wasn't putting up with this anymore and wanted out, he texted me nonstop to ask if I was Ok and if he had done anything wrong...umm, if you don't realize what was wrong to begin with, you obviously haven't been listening to the things that I told you were important to me in a relationship. Anyhow, I went no contact with him and did not reply to him for ~1 week. After the incessant messages became too much, I finally replied 2 days ago and asked him what exactly he wanted from me. Of course he didn't answer the question and then stopped texting me for a day. Then, he texted me again today as if nothing ever happened and asked how my day went. When I didn't reply, he again asked if I was Ok. I did not reply to any of his texts from today because I am frustrated by how open I was before to possibly dating him and felt like I received hot and cold behavior, but now because I said I was no longer interested, he is trying to win me back? On the one hand, I refuse to give him another chance because I do not want to waste my time anymore...then, the nice girl inside of me also thinks that he is fighting for me and maybe I should reconsider. I just don't want the cycle to keep repeating itself and me being hurt again. I think that I am right in continuing with no contact...after all, everyone has their limits and I should just stick to my instincts and keep moving along, right? My head says I need to move on but my heart is confused.

Posted

His incessant texting and unwillingness to answer you directly or by phone as you requested show that this guy is off in some way.

 

Move on, please.

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Posted

Initially, I wouldn't have minded being friends (as this is how I saw him before he aggressively pursued me in the beginning) but his poor communication skills as a whole and lack of respect for the things I prefer, make me not to want to have anything to do with him at this point. Why should I have to operate on his terms only? You all reminded me of how much he sucks when it comes to how he treats others and how selfish he truly is! My friends have even said that something must be off about him if he can't respect me enough to follow my wishes (and leave me alone) or answer the questions that I previously asked. He seems to be the type that likes the attention and chase but when he gets bored or things get too serious for him, he bolts! Ok...no more of his erratic behavior for me! Not gonna put myself through this anymore and not gonna feel bad for not responding. Better to keep the no contact rule...hopefully he eventually gets the hint!

Posted

Yes, continue NC. But block his number. There's a trick on the NC thread where every time he texts you, you text back an identical message that you've copy-pasted from your phone, along the lines of "Your message could not be delivered as the recipient has blocked this number" (because apparently you can't always block people for SMS).

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