Jmarsh Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 I have been with my girlfriend for 10 months and she is my first true love. She treated me like nobody else has and people would always remark how perfect our relationship seemed as we would never get into fights. She has alot of home problems and sometimes she relied on me to help her which I was fine with, since she gave me love in return. Just this past week she went to the movies and I discovered that she hid the fact that this guy who had been calling her cute and wishing to spend more time with her had gone. I started to have anxiety problems because for the first time I was worried something was going wrong. She was changing and she kept going out places without inviting me but inviting other people instead. Cutting the story shorter, she left her tumblr open on my computer and I saw messages like "I kissed this guy tonight" and "I don't regret it" " I would probably do it again" so now that I've found out she is begging for me to take her back and that she only said those things because she was trying to justify her actions and stop caring so that we could break up without me having to find out. She has a history of constant lying and not telling me things. She says HE kissed her and she told him she didn't like it but the things online seem different. I love her and want to give her a chance. But I always hear things like "once a cheater always a cheater" and I don't know what to do.
Phantom888 Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Ask yourself if you could ever trust her again. 1
ls32ssibm Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 She said she'd do it again and she probably will. 3
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 She's just worried about losing you for her own selfish needs than the relationship, you're lucky you saw the truth in writing so she couldn't change the facts or take it back which is what people do when they cheat. If you take this girl back she'll think you a fool, and I would be willing to bet she'll do it again. You really need to get some backbone, this girl already sounds like she doesn't respect you from lying to you and never telling you things, and on top of it going out without you all of the time to meet other guys...you need to put your own respect above this relationship and read the writing on the wall and get out....that'll at least show her you're not a complete pu$$y.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Well that's unfortunate. It sounds like one of those "YOLO" things young girls go on and on about (side note: as a big Sean Connery fan, I'm more of a "YOLT" guy myself). But, either end it or don't. If you have any high expectations for yourself you should end it. If not, then don't. 2
sdraw108 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I'm sorry. I'm thankful this has never happened to me with someone I was in love with, but I can imagine how horrible it is. You already know what you have to do. And if you don't the posters above me have told you. The only other option is pain and misery. 1
RogerWallace111 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 YOLT... Yeah buddy, it's terrible and dumping her will be painful but you'd BETTER F*CKING DO IT. It may take a weeks, maybe even months to feel it, but you will be massivley relieved in the long run. Even if what she's telling you now were completely true, which it's not, you'd still have to do it. Leave the b*tch ASAP.
Stay Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Take it from me..this happened to me but I didn't know about it..until years later when our relationship was already over when a friend told me about the incident. They wanted her to do what was right but she never told me... guess how our relationship ended? Yup, she's been talking to someone else behind my back.. who knows what else she did. So once a cheater is always a cheater is true to an extent. She expected our relationship to always feel like the honeymoon stage.
Pisces13 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I don't believe in the term "once a cheater, always a cheater", but I do believe that if some one cheats on you, you have every reason to believe that it will happen again. The reason I say that is because if you were truly, madly, deeply in love with someone, and were truly happy in the relationship, you wouldn't cheat on them. If you do, then you obviously can't see yourself with that person for the long term.
sdraw108 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I don't believe in the term "once a cheater, always a cheater", but I do believe that if some one cheats on you, you have every reason to believe that it will happen again. The reason I say that is because if you were truly, madly, deeply in love with someone, and were truly happy in the relationship, you wouldn't cheat on them. If you do, then you obviously can't see yourself with that person for the long term. Perhaps, but I certainly think "once a cheater, always capable of cheating" is true. What you just said (about cheating being related to feelings of love and happiness in a relationship), means that the person won't rule out cheating when their relationship has a bad patch / they're upset / had an argument, etc., and those feelings of love and happiness are at a temporary low point (which is highly likely to happen at least occasionally even in a strong relationship). Someone with a history of cheating has shown they can't be trusted at moments like these. In any case, it doesn't really matter that there are some people who won't ever be repeat offenders, because would you ever know that your SO is one of "those" types of cheaters? You'd never be able to fully trust them - there would always be some little nagging doubts at the back of your mind. And how can you have a strong relationship without trust?
Treasa Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Anyone ever notice that most of the time when there is cheating going on there is a woman involved? I would kick her to the curb like an aluminum can, but go with your gut if you can talk yourself into trusting her again that will buy you some time until she does it again........or not You ever notice that there's almost always a guy involved, too? I would get rid of her SO FAST. She kissed another guy, she lies constantly, sounds like she wanted to break up with you, doesn't regret it, only begged you not to leave when you found out...you're the backup plan. Not cool. Dump her. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Anyone ever notice that most of the time when there is cheating going on there is a woman involved? I would kick her to the curb like an aluminum can, but go with your gut if you can talk yourself into trusting her again that will buy you some time until she does it again........or not Oxygen is often involved too? So are days that end in "y". 1
Treasa Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 So the tongue sticking out smiley wasn't enough for you people to gather I was being sarcastic? Not my problem you don't know how to read me...... Yes, I knew you were being sarcastic. I was being playful by pretending to be "shocked" at the "news" I was breaking. *facepalms*
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