nybaseball3 Posted October 31, 2004 Posted October 31, 2004 My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other on and off for the past three years, (we are both in college, he is one year older than me.) the problem is that while I really want the relationship to work, he is indecisive. Every so often he tells me that he wants a break from the relationship, that he needed space. He said that today in fact. We discussed it and he told me that i was pressuring him too much, (I guess about how much i want us to be together, ) so i told him that I would try to not pressure him so much, but that it seemed to me that in the past that he was indecisive and that i was just trying to help him make a decision. before i got off the phone i asked him point blank if everything was OK with us, and he said yes. my question is, how can i help him realize that he should stay with me. (we tried taking a break last year, but neither of us were able to find anyone.) also, how can i get him to stop being so indecisive and wishy-washy and to stay with me?
bluetuesday Posted October 31, 2004 Posted October 31, 2004 you can't make him stay. he's been with you for three years. he knows you. nothing you do now is suddenly going to open his eyes and convince him you're the one for him if he doesn't already know it. just because you want this doesn't mean he does, and i'm afraid when someone asks for space, sees you only on and off, wants to take a break from you and gets back with you because neither of you could find anyone else, the truth is staring you in the face. i'm sorry but he's unwilling to commit to you. he does not feel the same way you do. let him go.
JoL Posted October 31, 2004 Posted October 31, 2004 It seems to me like your boyfriend doesnt know if he can/wants/is able to commit to you. It may be this point of his life he isn't ready, he might be feeling trapped after 3 years, or it may be that he feels you aren't the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I know that sounds harsh, but clearly you both wants different things
Misty2004 Posted October 31, 2004 Posted October 31, 2004 Let him figure out for himself if he wants to be with you. So you really want to be with someone that doesn't know if they want to be with you? Wouldn't you prefer for him to decide himself that he wants to be with you, without feeling like it's something that you've forced him into?
BigJ100 Posted October 31, 2004 Posted October 31, 2004 Checkout his relationship with his mom. Do you think he is generally indecisive, or is it only when issues concern you? Does he generally accept or take responsibility for things? Do some reading around if you think he's worth it. Last year when you couldn't find anyone. Is that couldn't or wouldn't? Are you just rebounding back to each other, or are you "smitten with each other"?
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