Author DawnR Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 Then tell him. If he's ignoring you and not appreciating your efforts - then it's up to you - to tell him how this makes you feel. Most men aren't mind readers! You are correct 2Sunny! Its so hard though, but you are very right. I will try to talk to him. MOPER: There is this book, based on a movie... based on a book... I dont know. It is called fireproof (have you ever heard of it) I have the book, I read it awhile back, when it was new... it truly is an amazing book. It does have a biblical theme, with some bible verses in it. I do not know how you feel about that. But, please do not choose to not read it because of that. You can still read the book and follow the "LOVE DARE" and it truly does bring you closer together. Its a 40 day process. I was actually blown away by it. official website 40 Day Love Dare - The Book | Fireproof - The Movie | 40 Day Love Dare Journal or on amazon Amazon.com: Fireproof (9781401685270): Alex Kendrick, Stephen Kendrick, Eric Wilson: Books OR.... if you cant get a copy for some reason I will send you mine. I promise you should read it. I was so glad I did. Maybe I need to read it again! I think that marriage is something that is made, and then needs to be remade again and again and again... as long we BOTH SHALL LIVE. It takes work, on both parts... and we can not let ourselves forget why we were married in the first place. and I think the movie is on NETFLIX
Moper Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 You have to show her the respect of telling her. I am sure you plan on doing that? That is going to be a hard day at your house. But by not telling her, it is going to just eat away at you and eat away... its bet to do what you have to do asap. BUT, I do see how you need a minute to get your head around it. On the other hand... look at what drove you to the affair. I can see how my situation and your situation can relate now. I feel hubby doesn't appreciate me, you feel your wife didnt appreciate you. NO PASSION. I have no intention of living in a situation where I feel like a ROOM MATE only. SO I can see what drove you to the affair too. I have never cheated, emotionally or otherwise... and I would like to say that i never will... but who is to say what a person would or would not do under certain circumstances. Your wife though is going to be hurt. BUT.... do you ever try to me intimate with her? I mean, do you try and she shoots you down, or are you both just non affectionate toward each other? (Make sense?) If she is shooting you down, then it is partly on her too. As wrong as that may sound. I don't know. I just don't know if I can go through that and at that point I think I might leave before I told her. But you are right I am in no position to do that or make that decision right now. She is going to be very hurt and she doesn't deserve that. Look, the affair is 100% on me. 100%. As for her role in making us room mates, I have to say she is somewhat responsible but again I have to honestly take full blame but she is not perfect, if that is what you're getting at. I have stated some of my issues with her. I appreciate you trying to stand up for me a little. I am not a bad guy, I don't think. But I don't deserve any defense here. I should have dealt with my issues before having the affair and in terms of my own character flaws I am not able to deal with this issue in the appropriate way. I have to work on that and cannot fully explain it. But I can own my own behavior. It's a start. And too I am not running away. I am committed to doing this the right way but first I have work on me for awhile.
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