Author UnsureHubby Posted September 6, 2013 Author Posted September 6, 2013 (edited) Well it didn't take long for the fangs to come out.. All things aside I learned allot about our relationship this past week and got to see how ugly my stbx can be. Anyway, we have come to an agreement on finances, property, and everything else. We will most likely file uncontested next week. Now for my dilemma, I am moving out of the house in a few months. I have decided to distance myself from this area and move back to where I grew up and lived up until 7 years ago when we bought this house. or should I just avoid it? I can afford a nice house and still live fairly comfortably, my Dad asked if I was looking for a roommate. I like the idea of having a babysitter / companion at home. My fear is when I start dating it will look like I live with my dad.. I can just hear it.. no my Dad lives with me Any thoughts on this? Is it more acceptable for older (65+) parents to live with their kids? Edited September 6, 2013 by UnsureHubby
vla1120 Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 This is totally acceptable, in my mind. For many reasons today, many families are finding the need to cohabitate with extended family. I look forward to the day when it is more widely accepted by our oh-so-critical society! Imagine having your father, someone you trust implicitly, caring for your children daily. What a relief! Likewise is the comfort knowing your father's needs are being met as he advances in age. Personally, I would feel TOTALLY comfortable dating someone in this situation because I would know he shared my views on the importance of family, immediate and extended. 1
WantAMajorChange Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 This is totally acceptable, in my mind/QUOTE] I agree. You have to keep in mind some other factors. You're not going to rush into things I assume. You aren't going to bring a date home, have her meet the kids and your dad, and then tell them about the divorce on date one. You're going to get to know her and she'll get to know you. If you do end up liking her and trusting her then she can know more of your situation. If you feel she would accept things you would tell her and she would accept them cause they're a part of you. 1
Author UnsureHubby Posted September 6, 2013 Author Posted September 6, 2013 This is totally acceptable, in my mind. For many reasons today, many families are finding the need to cohabitate with extended family. I look forward to the day when it is more widely accepted by our oh-so-critical society! Imagine having your father, someone you trust implicitly, caring for your children daily. What a relief! Likewise is the comfort knowing your father's needs are being met as he advances in age. Personally, I would feel TOTALLY comfortable dating someone in this situation because I would know he shared my views on the importance of family, immediate and extended. Too bad you don't live in MI
Author UnsureHubby Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Finally a weekend almost drama free. STBX came over to finalize what each of us want and she asked for more money.. Said that after all expenses are paid that $600/mo wasn't enough to live on. Asked for another $500/mo ($500 more then what the state calculator said I should pay) this is on top of me paying for a cellphone and car insurance for the next 2 years. I showed her the math how I have $18/mo after all expenses when I move out. And if my Dad moves in I would have $418 to cover any incidental expenses. Then she went to me moving out, asked me to move out in the next 2 weeks.. Told me I can explain that I am in a divorce etc and the landlord should be willing to work with me. I responded asking her to cut support down to $500/mo for the next 2 months and I will be out before the end of october.. Otherwise I will stay here until the divorce is finalized and she pays me what we agreed on. I even offered to have her and the kids move back in for the time being while I save to move out. Explained financially it was just the fastest way. I only asked that she not flaunt her relationship in front of me.. Funny now she is back to denying it, said she only said those things because she was mad. Should I just say screw it and go couch surf for a month or 2 and get this part of my life behind me?? I could pull it off and have friends that have offered. My only concern is the weekend visits... They would be sleeping with me at a friends house.. That wouldn't work very well.
Author UnsureHubby Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 After some good advice from family and a friend I am meeting with my lawyer tomorrow morning and putting an end to demands. A judge will make the decisions going forward. I am a bit nervous since it a crap shoot on the judge you get. I was told its a 60/40 split with only 40% treating fathers favorably. For a little over a month we have shared 50/50 custody. Starting this week I changed my schedule so the STBX isn't at my house in the morning taking my oldest to school and hanging at my house all day with the little one. Depending on the judge and the advice of my lawyer I am going to ask to be the custodial parent and I am going to fight to get my house excluded since I owned it before we got married. I talked to a friend in the mortgage business and he doubts the STBX could refinance or keep up on payments as they are.
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