jackjoynr Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 (edited) I'll try to make this short & sweet... Met guy at club (I know.. barf! ) Didn't give him my number & somehow the next day he found me on FB (creepy, but kinda cute). Chatted via text message for awhile, and then a few weeks later guy asks me on a date. Date was awkward and mediocre. Didn't see stars or anything.. We still continued to chat via text. I am 4 years older than him & he was still in college at the time. Long story short, never in a million years thought that anything would become of him & I due to the age difference, but he began to fall for me and I for him. We would see each other on the weekends when we had free time, talk / text every other day, and he'd drive hour and half whenever possible just to come see me. I have a really good career and he is just getting out of college for the summer but still into the party scene. We kind of had this unspoken agreement that we are dating, but not "official" boyfriend/girlfriend. I guess we're just friends w/ benefits or whatever you may call it. We are not sleeping with other people & we tell each other "I love you" almost everyday. He treats me well, better than any guy I've been with. The age difference bothers me, but I forget about it most times when I'm with him. Here's the thing...He's a country white boy and I'm an ethnic city girl. Whenever we'ere out and about he ALWAYS makes comments about skin color, and all the different ethnicity's he encounters when he comes to visit me in the city, which is REALLY annoying & baffles me.. He drinks a lot - makes fun of the fact that I'd rather stay in on the weekends than go out and party. Some of his friends are really really immature & drink a lot - all the same age as him. He's known, or was known as being a "lady's man" - "friends" with a bunch of girls and just tonight some girl who he coined as being just his "friend" called him up drunk and was convincing him to come over to take care of her <-I think that's my final straw. I've threatened to stop talking to him because of behaviors I've seen from him, but he always promises to change, that he wants to do better and learn from me & tells me not to give up on him and that he wants to make things official & be with me. I've been hesitant thus far to make things official with him (which i know bothers him) & it'll be a year since we've I guess been "dating," but I'm really tempted to kick this little boy to the curve. He's an amazing guy, and genuine sweetheart but definitely has a lot more growing up to do. I guess I already know the answer to my question, but I could use some advise on what to do & how to break things off with him for good. I've tried to convince him that we're at different points in our lives & we should just remain friends, but he always does some sweet gesture or tries to convince me otherwise. Need advise! Thank ya!! Edited July 31, 2013 by jackjoynr
MrCastle Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 You question his maturity level and admit he's a douche but can't seem to break away. Given everything you've said, the fact that you (someone older and more mature than this fellow) are asking how to break it off, leads me to believe you're going to wait until he breaks your heart. 2
pcplod Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Hello mum! How are ya? And how's your little boy? Growing up, is he? Yeah, he doesn't sound like the complete article, does he? And you like him because he's cute, and he can be so sweet whenever pushed to the challenge. You know you really, really shouldn't but you do, despite the fact that you have not only told yourself, but him too. So what is holding YOU back? That is what would be the really interesting question to ask. I hope you get it sorted out, for both your and his sake. Just take a deep breath and be decisive. It is liberating.
Author jackjoynr Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 I really don't know whats holding me back. I will try your liberating advice of being decisive, because I tend to be VERY indecisive. After all, aren't most women? I guess I'm just not in the game of breaking any ones heart, because having a broken heart SUCKS monkey testis! But it also makes me wonder why in the holy hell I've continued to talk to him up until this point. I have no clue. A sweet guy, some sweet words, and sweet gestures will do that to a girl sometimes I guess. I'm much smarter than this I swear! Thought I could do the whole casual, no-strings attached relationship thing, buuuuttt this definitely is not working for me. I've never been the type of girl that NEEDS to have a boyfriend, or be in a relationship but I suppose after my last heartbreaking experience with my ex of 2 years, it's been nice to have someone to spend time with, who loves me, cares for me, and has allowed me to completely forget about my ex. Time to snap out of it and be the "mature one" I suppose. I'm more or less just venting here. I know what I must do.
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 What are your current ages? Because in my experience, women are far more decisive than men. They just don't like to admit they've made that decision.
MrCastle Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Because in my experience, women are far more decisive than men. Trying to figure out what I can say to this without getting in trouble. 1
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Trying to figure out what I can say to this without getting in trouble. Keep figuring. It may take you a while...... 1
soccerrprp Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Trying to figure out what I can say to this without getting in trouble. Allow me to help you: In MY experiences, women are NOT far more decisive than men. 1
MrCastle Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Keep figuring. It may take you a while...... Hahaha I see what you did there 1
TheGuard13 Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Is your question whether you're dating a "douche", or a "DOUCHE"? 1
CptSaveAho Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Because in my experience, women are far more decisive than men. They just don't like to admit they've made that decision. LOL..............................................WHAT? If women knew what they wanted... they would be men Contrary to your opinion and views, biology speaks otherwise
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Good....that's what we want you to think. we have you nicely deluded then.... Like I said. Women are decisive. They just don't express their decisiveness. it keeps you gents nicely on your toes.
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