Ydok Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Thank you for reading my rant. I recently ended a very long rollercoaster ride with a woman that I've known so far for about 1 year and 2 months. She's still currently my boss and did me dirty in the most unimaginable ways. Luckily for me, I am a very strong minded person and have been through some sh*t only at the age of 21. It's been about 7 weeks since we officially broke off our relationship and now I feel like I have moved on. Because of my ex, I haven't been interested in women and haven't wanted to date anyone. I've never been one to use rebounds and I had no intentions on being interested in women for a while, but there's a girl at work that I've known for a while that's in a completely different department at work that I'm starting to be really attracted to. She also just ended a relationship not to long ago and is pretty much in the same boat as me. We're not looking at confiding in each other. We are both very sexually attracted to each other. I think she's funny. We get along. We've hung out three or four times now outside of work and now we've kissed and expressed how we're feeling. As of right now, we both know that we're developing feelings for one another, so we're simply just seeing where things can go and taking things slow. So here is my question.. Sadly, this is the first time where I have had a clean slate with a woman where there are no attachments from either side and both people are mature, respectful and take relationships seriously. I really want to get to know her a lot more, but I am constantly nervous around her. I am not always the kind of person to talk constantly, as I enjoy listening to others more than speaking myself, so there are moments of awkward silence and for the first time ever, the silence is slightly bothering me. The silence is not very long, maybe no longer than a couple seconds, but to break it, we'll rehash old conversations we've already had. I find myself not knowing what to say but what we both know, which is relationships and work related conversation. Mind you, we haven't done any activities together besides going out to eat or seeing a movie, but I guess what I am saying is, I wish we were just more comfortable with eachother and had more of a great connection. I know that it's there, I just don't know how to spark the fire that I'm looking for. I'm not sure if she is even feeling the same way. As far as I know she may think I'm great, but I feel boring to her and she feels like she's boring to me, yet we make eachother laugh constantly. Am I just over thinking things and trying to force this? Should I just relax and take my time? What can I do to spark this relationship and really get things feeling natural and fun? I am having fun with her, but there feels like there is something missing. We've only just established our interest a week ago. So it's been a week now. I'm probably out of my mind and over thinking but I'd like some advice or some reassurance that I am being ridiculous Thanks for reading if you got this far.
CollegeGuy20 Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 I'm going to tell you what you need to hear. Relax. Breathe. Now, do it again. This new relationship is just starting. You both like each other, but you don't know each other yet. Almost all new relationships (and 1 week is definitely new) have an awkward phase that's exactly how you described it. The only cure for this is time. Time spent with each other, going out on dates, going places, etc. The conversation will flow in time, even if you are shy. The important thing here is to take it easy. Let the relationship develop itself naturally; don't push it along. Good luck!
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