Michael922 Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Okay so I'm 22 and there is this girl I've been seeing for a while but she is taking forever to come around. Here is some back story. We met in college, we had a class together and did a group project together which went well for everyone. We became friends on fb but never talked about anything that wasn't project related. A year goes by, we haven't spoken since our project. One day I made a status about how nice guys finish last and she private messages and asked me "how do I know you're a nice guy?" So we talked about relationships and how she admired nice guys. Before I know it she gives me her number and wants to hangout. So we hung out maybe 6 or 7 times as friends, out to dinner, movies, and stuff like that. So one day I told her that I really liked hanging out with her and that I was developing feelings for her. She told me that she met someone because she thought I wanted a friendship with her and not a relationship. Which is understandable because I'm a shy guy and I didn't make any moves or sexual advances on her. So I let her slip through my fingers. During her relationship I told her that I missed her and she said she missed me too but she was in a relationship and that she was sorry. A few weeks go by and I get a text from her saying that she's sorry for how things ended and she wanted to hang out again. I found out she broke up with her boyfriend. So now we are seeing each other again. We have hung out maybe 4 or 5 times since. I finally gathered the courage to kiss her and I thought it was the best feeling kiss I've ever had. We had the conversation that we are both "seeing each other exclusively". This went on for a couple weeks so one night she took me to the drive in theater and as we were laying in the back of her jeep, I told her I wanted to be committed to her and to call her my girlfriend. She said that she has a few issues with that right now. She said that she's extremely busy (she is and works 70hrs a week) and that its going to be hard to find time right now, and she said she wants to take things slow and not rush anything. She told me that she rushed with her last boyfriend and that's why it didn't work. I supported her decision to take things slow and she dropped me off at my car and I said goodnight without kissing her. She texted me and said that she hoped that she didn't discourage me and that she was sorry if she upset me. I told her i appreciated her honesty. So that was about a week ago and we've been talking like normal. The usual flirty stuff but the amount we talk is always severely limited. Maybe 10 texts a day. I haven't seen her in 9 days and miss her a lot. I guess my question is how do I approach this, I'm afraid to ask her to hang out because I know she's busy most of the time but I can't stand not seeing her. Please give me some advice, any advice or ask any questions that you need to if I left anything out. Thank you and any advice is appreciated.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Leave her be. I think she isnt stubborn, she just inst that into you. When a woman that knows you tells you shes too busy to see you, either she is playing games to make you work harder, or she isnt into you at all, and is just using you until she finds the next guy she really wants to date. She could be dating him now while you arent seeing her for 9 days. Frankly, if you need 10 texts a day, IMO you are too needy, and you need to get your own life so you dont have to depend on hearing from her all the time. You can keep trying, but this one doesnt look like a long lasting one, especially when she knows youre more into her than she is into you.
Author Michael922 Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 That's what I'm afraid of. I know I can be needy at times i just want to spend more time with her and get to know her. I guess I'll chill for a while and see how that works. I know she cares, whenever I'm down or stressed out she does and says cute things to try and cheer me up, she invited me over to her house again but she didnt designate a day. So I guess I'll leave her alone for now. Thank you
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 She's a friend. She's not - nor ever will be - a GIRLfriend. But she IS using you as an emotional prop. She like to have a male companion - and will keep you on a leash until she meets another guy. You need to back off now, or she will shred your heart to pieces. I guarantee it.
sdraw108 Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 When you first started hanging out with her, she ended up dating someone else instead of you. Then when that relationship broke down, she was back to hanging out with you again. So I think the question here is, why do you want to date someone to whom you are a second choice?
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