brandon26003 Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 I am a 33 year old male and she is 31. She has 2 children and has been dicorced for nearly 2 years. After her dicvorce she dated a guy for 8 months that ended badly because he cheated and lied to her. That relationship ended 6 months prior to our meeting. I met her 3 weeks ago on a dating site. She is the one who contacted me first. We went out on our first date a week after and we made an instant connection. She constantly praised how good of a man I am. She even stated that she was shocked of her feelings for me in such a short period of time. I was elated because I thought that I had found someone who was on the same page as me. I have been longing for a loving committed relationship and it seemed this was it. Sunday we had a discussion about several things and I told her that I was also starting to have feelings for her. I noticed a change in her almost instantaneously. It would take hours for her to reply to a text and the I miss you's stopped. This morning I wake to the following text: HEY. GOOD MORNING. I WAS UP MOST OF THE NIGHT THINKING OF YOU. YOU SEEM TO BE DEVELOPING FEELINGS FOR ME...I WISH I WAS TOO. YOU HAVE EVERY QUALITY THAT I'M LOOKING FOR. YOU'RE SWEET, CARING, THOUGHTFUL, GREAT TOUCH, AND GOOD PERSONALITY, HOWEVER, I THINK I MAY HAVE RUSHED INTO THE THOUGHT OF HAVING A BOYFRIEND. I KNOW YOU ARE A GREAT GUY, AND IM GONNA TOTALLY HATE MYSELF FOR DOING THIS, BUT WHEN I KISSED YOU GOODBYE SUNDAY, I DIDN'T FEEL THAT SPARK. I WOULD TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE, BUT I WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE YOU UNTIL FRIDAY. THE LAST THING I WANT IS TO LEAD YOU ON. Her tone switched several times today. One minute she wanted to still hang out and see if anything developed, and the next she said it wasn't a good idea. This changed several times. I mentioned changing my status on facebook to single and she quickly stated that she is second guessing her decision to stop seeing me. I mentioned that we no speak for a few days for her to think things through which she agreed. She just texted me asking how work was going after she agreed to no contact for a few days. I'm not going to reply for a few days like we agreed because I feel that is the best thing to do. I'm open to any and all serious suggestions. Is she confused, should I reply sooner, is this going to work, etc. Thank you and God Bless!
GI_Joy Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 jesus christ, she sounds wishy-washy and indecisive! She's a grown woman, no excuse for her to be changing her mind 59 times. I support your decision to go NC, you don't deserve to be subjected to her lack of conviction for her feelings for you.
clia Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 So, you've essentially been dating her for two weeks (since you met in person) and were already Facebook official? That seems really fast. She might have gotten freaked out. You might try moving a little slower next time. Honestly, you barely know her if and she is already questioning her attraction and feelings toward you, that's not a good sign. This is the time when she should be gung ho about you. She also sounds kind of flaky, but I think her gut reaction was the right one, no matter how much flip flopping she is doing now. I think you would be best to go no contact, and to wait and see if she contacts you again. Do not contact her. My suspicion is that you won't hear from her again.
Author brandon26003 Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 Yeah. She is a great person and embodies everything that I'm looking for in a woman. She says that I'm exactly what she is looking for. I think she may be scared of getting hurt. She is the one that first said she was having feelings, and the minute I said I was, she freaked out. This isn't my first rodeo. We did have some contact today because my mother is in the hospital. The ball is in her court now.
salparadise Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 If she was divorced two years ago, then had an eight month relationship that ended six months ago, that means she wasn't even single for a year after her divorce. Big red flag. The fact that she expressed feelings for you and moved too quickly is another. Then she did a complete reversal when you reciprocated. She doesn't know what she's doing, but she does seem to have a penchant for drama. I think she probably needs a lot of external validation and anticipates drama from jerking your chain after you told her you had feelings. But regardless of whether this speculation is true, your best move is NC. Look for steadiness and reliability in a woman. This wishy washy stuff will make you crazy, and the deeper you go with them the worse it gets.
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