bubbaganoosh Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Friend of mine was married to a ill tempered woman. They got in a argument one night and he slept on the couch. She came out to the living room in the middle of the night and started hitting and biting him. She bit him in the arm and he had to pull her mouth off his arm. She drew blood big time. When he got her mouth off his arm, she bit his stomach and clamped down hard and drew blood. He had two open wounds on him and finally he got her off him and she went back to her room. He went to the hospital for treatment because he was in pain. While there he told the doctors to call the police to file charges. Two state police showed up. One man and one woman cop. He told them what happened. The woman cop said to him. "What did you do to her that she would have to defend herself like that?" He looked the lady cop in the eye and told her to get the hell out of there and told the other cop that he wanted to file charges. They went to his house and asked the wife and she reversed it around and when he came home the cops returned and told him that it's best that he move out. It was his house. he lived in that house for 3 years before he met his wife and they tell him to move out. He told them that it was his house and he had to leave and stayed away until she moved out 4 months later. So much for equal justice. 2
runningfar Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I'd be very much on guard and more cautious but I've seen people railroaded before, and falsely accused to have their life ruined.
smile1983 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Ok, this mutual friend claims she or some other third parties never saw bruises. She obviously had bruises. Even if he didn't hit her with a bat, she had enough of a bruising that it looked like it. So throw that out the window. There was enough evidence to press charges and convict him, or for him to plead guilty. When I was abused, they took pictures of me at the hospital, then had me come in 3days later, and then a week later to take pictures as my bruises were deep and took time to manifest. I was unrecognizable. I am certain there were pictures of her marks, wether or not some mutual friend and school mates saw them 2 years ago is invalid. There was enough to convict him with and for him to plea too. Those are facts. Not hearsay. . Most women want to cover their bruises. Even if they want to shame the guy that did it too them. We are too vain to walk around in shades of blue, green, purple and yellow. I spent hundreds on make up thick concealers and such to cover my face as best I could. I started matching my eye shadow to my bruise colors since it seemed cover up didnt stay as well on my eye lids. He is blame shifting to his victim. He is a disgusting person point blank. I put make up all over my face all the way down my neck one time so thick mixing dark with light until you couldn't see the bruises anymore. My skin looked three shades darker but it hid it. I did that for over a week until my bruise was so little I thought it was an acceptable excuse that my daughter had accidentally head-butted me while having a tantrum and that is what I told everyone. At the time he was messed up on some stuff and after that one time it never got that bad again so I kept telling myself every time it did get bad that it wasn't bad enough to leave. That this wasn't real abuse or that I asked for it. Then finally I made a decision and I stuck by it. I think that he is basically good but that he lets his temper control him and that he has no respect for me. I do think that part of that one really bad time was because he was messed up on stuff (which is what he says if I bring it up) but if it was all that then he would be a kitten now that he's clean right? But he is not. He is still violent towards me when he gets angry.
smile1983 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Im playing devil advocate.... Women bitches moans , lays on the couch dont work, drains his Money , guy comes home from working 60hr a week to find His wife in bed with another man...... Im sure that man would probably smack her ... Not punch but backhand bitch slap What if she back talks him? Does he have a right to bitch slap her then too? Is it considered okay as long as it doesn't leave a bruise? What if it does? I think if a man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man he should pack her things into a suitcase and tell her that if she isn't gone in x minutes that he is going to have the police escort her off his property. I think this is a reasonable thing to do. Violence? Never. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 As far as I am concerned, this situation is just like having a pet Rattlesnake...It might be cool and fun and you may never get bit, but at any moment the possibility exists that you are going to the hospital... No thanks... TFY 4
will1988 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 she told the cops he beat her on the arm with a bat. She went to school, and told everyone he beat her face in. No bruises anywhere. Yup. he's a felon all right. Yes, but this is of course if OP's BF is being 100% honest about the situation. You seem to be forgeting that the information presented is information the OP was told by her BF. Do you honestly think her BF would admit to beating his ex with a baseball bat?
will1988 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Anything except assault/theft/murder/rape (or some variation thereof) I'm acquitting. No matter how obviously guilty you might be. Smuggle drugs? Not guilty. Cheated on your taxes? Not guilty. .09 DUI in which no accident occurred? Not guilty. ughhhh... then we will have a hung jurry if I'm ever in court. Although I am not a fan of taxes, they are a necissary evil to maintain this country... smuggeling drugs, just supports the drug market, which in turn supports street violence and drug mafia violence... and a .09 DUI is still over the limit, even if just by .01 (in most states). The judge and jurry will generally give someone a slap on the wrist for such a low amount, especially if no accidents were involved (I've never gotten a DUI, and I never drive drunk... always have a DD or take metro... but I had an alcoholic ex who dragged me to her two DUI court dates). It is still against the law, and so therefore should be punished. If the law was lax, more people would drink and drive. More innocent people will lose thier life, property, or be injured because someone believes that the worse will happen is a slap on the wrist! Every time you get behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated you might as well be comitting atempted murder!
ShiningMoon Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I think you should dump him. I mean, you never know. There's always a risk of something happening. Your safety is more important than a guy in my opinion, not matter how much you like/love him. You can never be 100% sure that nothing is going to happen. It just takes a second for him to snap and do something that will change your entire life. Besides, a man would never admit he did such thing to a woman. Men who act this way are always in denial because they really believe they are in love with the woman and they don't really understand the gravity of such behavior. Especially if the woman forgives him, he can't understand that what he is doing is wrong. Hence, even if he denied beating someone, it doesn't mean he's being honest. He is just trying to protect himself. I think you should just let it go in my opinion.
will1988 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 What marriage..? If you mean relationships, no, never had to because I don't date morons. And yeah, I'll gladly call morons names. And yes, I shamelessly consider anyone who actually believes in the righteousness of the government & judicial system a f*cking idiot. And I wasn't aware it was difficult to get a rape conviction. In fact, if anything, among those I know the line between rape and regrettable drunken penis acceptance seemed to be thinning. I believe that there are bad apples, and there are things that need to be improved, but overall I believe in the righteousness of my government and judicial system....
soccerrprp Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Again, no one here and the OP for the most part does not know, with any appreciable certainty, what the truth is. I simply would not date anyone with a felony. Could the guy have been bamboozled? Sure. But, he did plead guilty to a less charge b/c he didn't think he could win otherwise. I still find it interesting that if there was no evidence of physical abuse, then why the plea? Has our legal system degenerated (which, btw, has a history of being biased and inconsistent in its application of justice) so much that someone can now SIMPLY say "jump!" and the system responds "how high?" w/o the presentation of evidence? If it were me, I would have told him good luck. And I would be dismayed that he didn't tell me about it from the get-go (despite his claim that he "tried" to). You don't leave out such information. 3
Drseussgrrl Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 A "lesser" plea with no evidence would have been a misdemeanor, not a felony. And I'm sorry - I refuse to believe that someone can be convicted of a felony in this country with no physical evidence whatsoever. That's just insane. Not sure where you live Dasein - but I've never seen such a thing in my life. A bunch of completely innocent people walking around with felonies?! WTF. 1
Els Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 As far as I am concerned, this situation is just like having a pet Rattlesnake...It might be cool and fun and you may never get bit, but at any moment the possibility exists that you are going to the hospital... No thanks... TFY This, pretty much. I mean, yeah, the guy who was convicted of being a child rapist MIGHT have been framed too, or the guy who was convicted of murdering someone. So we should be happy to date them, too? Where does that train of thought stop? I feel sorry for them if they were, but no way in hell am I going to be risking my safety for such a possibility. 4
will1988 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Every criminal is innocent and it is all just a big misunderstanding! :lmao: 2
Drseussgrrl Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Im playing devil advocate.... Women bitches moans , lays on the couch dont work, drains his Money , guy comes home from working 60hr a week to find His wife in bed with another man...... Im sure that man would probably smack her ... Not punch but backhand bitch slap I'm really starting to wonder about the type of women some of you dudes have dated. Talk about projecting. 2
SoleMate Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I would ask him to get me copies of the court records so I could see exactly what the charge and evidence were. 1
soccerrprp Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I would ask him to get me copies of the court records so I could see exactly what the charge and evidence were. Or get it yourself. It's a matter of public record, correct? You (OP) should do some investigating and find out. You don't have to tell him you're looking into this. Frankly, as important as this is, you don't have to tell him anything and feel guilty about it. Your safety trumps anything concerns he may or may not have about you delving into his (now public) life.
will1988 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I'm really starting to wonder about the type of women some of you dudes have dated. Talk about projecting. I've dated different types of crazy... all were managable, except for the alcoholic crazy trick. She tried dragging me through the mud when she wrecked my car while drunk (I only let her use it to get to class, a mile or two from where she lived and she was not drinking when she dropped me off) I did have to lawyer-up...She was charge and convicted of DUI, filing a false police report and hit and run. The courts in that small podunk appalachia town were just. I am a yankee and she was a local... they only ended up calling me as a witness and even gave her two court dates... the first one, and then the apeals. The justice system is slow, but the evidence was against her and not against me. The justice system worked! There are people that get screwed over by it, or so the say, but for the most part it works. I learned a valuable lesson... never date a druggy or alcoholic, leave when you see red flags, and you can't fix people! 1
will1988 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 why are people even entertaining the idea of wanting to see his record... he admited to it. the court record is just going to show the charges and convicitions... at least the public record part... i don't believe it shows the whole trial and evidence and he said she saids etc...even if they do show all that stuff this guy is still going to say "my ex framed me" or "it was all just a huge misunderstanding".
soccerrprp Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 OP, people often Google prospective dates and some even go as far as doing criminal background checks. Nothing wrong with that... Heck, my current GF googled me up and down and thought about doing a CBC. It turns out I'm legit, clean, an up-standing citizen... Be safe. I think you know what you should do.
therhythm Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I would not care to wait if he did it or not... he lied to you by hiding key information about his past... if he can hide that info, he can hide and lie about the truth of the conviction or not... why would you want to risk to be with a know abuser? 3
will1988 Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I would not care to wait if he did it or not... he lied to you by hiding key information about his past... if he can hide that info, he can hide and lie about the truth of the conviction or not... why would you want to risk to be with a know abuser? ^^^ This I don't know why the OP and some of the other commenters on here don't realize this. He is a lier and an abuser! Send him packing! 1
crederer Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 (edited) One time an ex of mine was beating the ever loving snot out of me while I was asleep. I got up and blocked a few punches and then I grabbed her by the wrists to prevent my bruised face from being punched even more. She then made it out to her friends that I beat her up and kept yelling at me, "does this make you feel like a man?" because I grabbed her wrists. Oh, and when I had her by her wrists she kept trying to knee me in the groin repeatedly, I managed to block the knees with my own legs, which she suggested was me trying to "feel like a big man". She did all of this because one of her friends who she thought had a crush on me took her shirt off at a party (bra still on) and I didn't look away fast enough. Like, cmon I was a 21 year old kid all drunk and some girl takes her shirt off at a party you're going to take a glance. I wasn't staring at her cause I knew my gf was watching me like a hawk. So.....yah could be that the ex is nuts. Could be that the bf is nuts. Edited August 1, 2013 by crederer 3
Drseussgrrl Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 One time an ex of mine was beating the ever loving snot out of me while I was asleep. I got up and blocked a few punches and then I grabbed her by the wrists to prevent my bruised face from being punched even more. She then made it out to her friends that I beat her up and kept yelling at me, "does this make you feel like a man?" because I grabbed her wrists. Oh, and when I had her by her wrists she kept trying to knee me in the groin repeatedly, I managed to block the knees with my own legs, which she suggested was me trying to "feel like a big man". She did all of this because one of her friends who she thought had a crush on me took her shirt off at a party (bra still on) and I didn't look away fast enough. Like, cmon I was a 21 year old kid all drunk and some girl takes her shirt off at a party you're going to take a glance. I wasn't staring at her cause I knew my gf was watching me like a hawk. So.....yah could be that the ex is nuts. Could be that the bf is nuts. Well did you press charges? Dump her immediately? What?
Mrlonelyone Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I have been accused of things by women many times. Accusations that have no basis is fact are not automatically believed by any court system. I know this from experience.* If an accusation is total BS the legal authorities will just dismiss it. So this boyfriend of the OP's has some splaining to do. Odds are he did put his hands on her. The fact of domestic abuse law is, that if he put his hands on her he could be convicted of a felony as the DA always overcharges those, in order to plea it down to a misdemeanor. Unless he was willing to plea out to a misdemeanor or went to a jury trial he would get a felony conviction. We must also remember that the OP may have used the word "felony" wrong. Many people say the word "convicted felon" for anyone convicted of any crime ever. TLDR: OP your boyfriend really put his hands on her. However those who say you should find out details are correct. Furthermore find out if he is a generally violent man. People who abuse women are usually violent and confrontational, to an abnormal degree, in other areas of life. i.e. Mike Tyson is said to have hit his ex wife Robin Givens so hard she bounced off the walls an he would hit her again and again, bouncing her off the walls and onto his fist. In hindsight is that really a surprise? * My experiences have been having women get involved with me romantically, wanting it under wraps because I am not a socially acceptable person to love, then they cry harassment. It never sticks because I know to make sure at least some other people witness me and them together. The police or whatever authority figure will just toss it into the garbage if it's a total nonsense allegation and that's where it ends.
Drseussgrrl Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 He would have gotten laughed at trying to press charges. The cops always giggle like school girls when a man walks in and says a woman beat him up. I tried to get a restraining order on a gal once and the cop that helped me said "Why is a guy as big as you scared of a widdle girl for?". I asked if he was being serious and told him about her breaking into my house and taking pictures of me sleeping, she then mailed them to me. On the phone she would say "you look pretty vulnerable there huh?" I told him she punched me on numerous occasions, vandalized my car and stole my mail. He responded "come on man there are very few women out there if any that could hurt a guy your size you dont really need a restraining order just walk away". I said fine, since you wont help me, when I deal with it my way, we can have this talk again when I am in jail and I walked out. Don't know what world you live in but its nuts if you think a guy can report something like this and get any help. No it's not. I used to live with a girl who was absolutely insane and her ex husband had a restraining order against her after she threatened his dogs, among other crazy things she did.
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