feelinghopeless89 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Has anyone ever heard of the term "disarming", in regards to a person's personality trait? I've been going through a tough time this year with dealing with a breakup from someone I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, my best friend. I still work with him (so unhealthy, I know). Anyways, our break up was hard because he left me for his ex gf, and also the mother of his child, and ended up getting her pregnant while he was still with me. It was like a knife going into my heart. After it all happened, he kept asking me to still be his friend but I told him there was absolutely no way. He got really upset and starting telling mutual friends that he couldn't stand me with a passion, etc. When I see him at work, after a few months went by, he started acting overly nice to me(even though I would still here the hurtful things he would say about me behind my back). He will joke around with me at work, smile, and in that moment I forget everything he's put me through and when I walk away I always ask myself how he can do that! There is a good number of people at work who have had problems with him, and vice versa. He will openly talk crap about a certain person, even go as far as saying he despises him, but you would never guess that by how nice and funny he is to them at work. Often, those people have the same thoughts as me when they walk away with him ... Like what just happened?! I was talking to my therapist today, just trying to understand why he acts like that, how someone could be so fake. She said that the first thing that came to her mind when I was talking about this was a trait called "disarming". When I got home I looked up disarming and was absolutely blown away! It described what he does so perfectly, but it was also the first time I have ever heard that term. Just wanted to get some input, opinions, advice on how to deal with it, and wondering if any of you have been around someone like that as well.
Philosoraptor Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Sounds pretty two faced to me. Kill you with kindness to your face and stab you in the back when you're walking away. Now that you know what you're dealing with you can be prepared for his "disarming" techniques and hold your ground.
Author feelinghopeless89 Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 Definitely agree Philosopher!
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