M30USA Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 I read on a lawyers website that, nationwide, it is now the norm for a man to be accused of SOME form of abuse in a divorce proceeding (spousal, sexual, child, etc.) The number they gave was 60% of all divorces. Because of this, judges no longer view it as safe to assume that women's accusations are true. My feelings on this are mixed. While I'm glad that judges are beginning to take abuse accusations with a grain of salt (unless presented with strong evidence), I think it's pathetic that men can now EXPECT to be called a spouse or child abuser upon getting divorced. It's a right of passage, it seems.
karnak Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Part of today's world rampant strategy of blameshifting, I guess. Nowadays people seem less and less inclined to take responsability for their actions, regardless if it's work or love relationships. It's easier to accuse someone of the failure in a project (and try to come out as a hero), rather than accept one's faults in the process. 1
Mr. Lucky Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 I read on a lawyers website that, nationwide, it is now the norm for a man to be accused of SOME form of abuse in a divorce proceeding (spousal, sexual, child, etc.) I think that's ironic because I believe it's lawyers that are suggesting this "strategy" to some of their female clients to gain advantage in any custody or settlement issues... Mr. Lucky
tbf Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Link the source. I think this is a bogus statistic considering how the majority of divorces are filed as "no fault". 3
TaraMaiden Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 That's "Rite" of passage. What disturbs me is that women who may well be telling the truth now have their accounts thrown into doubt because such accusations are becoming more commonplace. Some may be lying/exaggerating, but others may be absolutely spot-on. And statistically, the majority of abuse in marriages is undoubtedly man on woman. 4
tbf Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 The other possibility is a misinterpretation of what the statistic entailed. It might be 60% of fault based divorces which makes perfect sense, considering how fault based divorces need...fault.
Woggle Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 The accusations are being abused to produce a more favorable outcome in divorce which not only hurts the man but spits in the face of actual abused women. 2
Woggle Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 My wife once helped a woman back in the day escape from an abuser. She helped her move out and find a new place and everything then she finds out she was lying through her teeth. My wife felt so betrayed after that.
Author M30USA Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 (edited) That's "Rite" of passage. What disturbs me is that women who may well be telling the truth now have their accounts thrown into doubt because such accusations are becoming more commonplace. Some may be lying/exaggerating, but others may be absolutely spot-on. And statistically, the majority of abuse in marriages is undoubtedly man on woman. Actually, when violence is not mutual (meaning both arent involved), the woman is the perpetrator 70% of the time*. The only defense against this that woman can have is that their perpetration isn't harmful to the man and thus not actually DV. Like in my case, my ex's lawyer actually tried to justify her bashing me with board multiple times by the fact that she is a foot shorter than me. I swear these lawyers try to warp everything. *Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/ Edited July 31, 2013 by M30USA 1
Yasuandio Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 If you are not an abuser, then you don't have to worry about it, right? That is what the justice system is all about. Anyone can accuse you of anything, and the stats can show these accusations occur 60% of the time, any way you wanna twist them. But if you are not guilty, then there is no evidence to support an allocation of aformentioned. What are you are concerned about then? That is what Court is all about - trying to make the opposing part look bad. But they have to prove it. Big effing deal. If you didn't do it, you didn't do it, why is there a need to post about it? YAS
Author M30USA Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 If you are not an abuser, then you don't have to worry about it, right? That is what the justice system is all about. Anyone can accuse you of anything, and the stats can show these accusations occur 60% of the time, any way you wanna twist them. But if you are not guilty, then there is no evidence to support an allocation of aformentioned. What are you are concerned about then? That is what Court is all about - trying to make the opposing part look bad. But they have to prove it. Big effing deal. If you didn't do it, you didn't do it, why is there a need to post about it? YAS Because there was a day when people used to receive penalty under law for false accusations, that's why. Your blasé attitude about a serious issue which happens to make it on God's 10 commandments concerns me and is the very reason why society, at large, tolerates false accusers. We don't tolerate them because eventually, even if 1 in a 100, some innocent person WILL get punished. 1
CC12 Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Actually, when violence is not mutual (meaning both arent involved), the woman is the perpetrator 70% of the time*. The only defense against this that woman can have is that their perpetration isn't harmful to the man and thus not actually DV. Like in my case, my ex's lawyer actually tried to justify her bashing me with board multiple times by the fact that she is a foot shorter than me. I swear these lawyers try to warp everything. *Source: Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury Between Relationships With Reciprocal and Nonreciprocal Intimate Partner Violence I think you read the results wrong. Results. Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases. It's 70% of the 24% of relationships that had some violence, if I'm reading it correctly. Anyway, that's not what people were asking you to source. I think you were being asked to backup your claim that it is now the norm that men are accused of abuse in 60% of divorces. The thing you linked has little to do with the topic of your thread. Maybe you could link us to the 'lawyers website' where you first heard this?
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Results. Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases. After reading the source, I'm in agreement with CC12... Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence. Half of that 24%, (12%) 49.7% were reciprocally violent. In non-reciprocally-violent relationships, (the other 12%), 70% were doen to women perpetrating. It's not 70% of the 24% violent relationships. Taking violent relationships as a whole, and calling it 100% of the count, 50% were reciprocally violent. Of the other 50% only around between 25% - 30% were perpetrated by women. So in fact, the total amount of female perpetrators is still outnumbered by the amount of male perpetrators.
Author M30USA Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 I've taken college level statistics and, honestly, I disagree with CC12 and TaraMaiden. The part about 24% of relationships involving "some" violence is irrelevant, since it covers both men and women. Therefore it's a statistical wash. Just read what comes after.
USMCHokie Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 (edited) I've taken college level statistics and, honestly, I disagree with CC12 and TaraMaiden. The part about 24% of relationships involving "some" violence is irrelevant, since it covers both men and women. Therefore it's a statistical wash. Just read what comes after. I have to disagree with you. It's not the stats that are incorrect, it's the reading of the words. Results. Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. The key words here are "of those." Therefore, the 24% is relevant. The proper conclusion here is that 12.1% of all relationships involve non-reciprocated violence (50.3% * 24%). In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases. From here, we take our result above (12.1%) and apply the 70% to reach the conclusion that 8.47% of all relationships involve female perpetrators where men did not reciprocate the violence, compared with 3.63% of relationships where men are the sole perpetrators. In any case, I think the conclusion you are trying to arrive at with this study is that in relationships involving one-sided abuse, it is more likely for the abuser to be the woman in the relationship; yet men are more likely to be accused of abuse. And this makes you go: Edited July 31, 2013 by USMCHokie 4
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 I've taken college level statistics and, honestly, I disagree with CC12 and TaraMaiden. The part about 24% of relationships involving "some" violence is irrelevant, since it covers both men and women. Therefore it's a statistical wash. Just read what comes after. I'm beginning to think you and Woggle should become drinking partners....
Author M30USA Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 The 24% stat is irrelevant to the question at hand. All it does is give us the data set to start with: namely, a certain amount of relationships (24%) involve violence which is non-specific to gender or original perpetrator. In a comparison of male versus female violence, the original data set number (24%) is irrelevant. TaraMaiden, you might not have read the last post entirely, otherwise you'd realize USMC is agreeing with me--albeit in a cynical way.
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 The 24% stat is irrelevant to the question at hand. All it does is give us the data set to start with: namely, a certain amount of relationships (24%) involve violence which is non-specific to gender or original perpetrator. In a comparison of male versus female violence, the original data set number (24%) is irrelevant. TaraMaiden, you might not have read the last post entirely, otherwise you'd realize USMC is agreeing with me--albeit in a cynical way. No, I don't think he is, entirely. And you're the one who started waving stats around. besides, that doesn't affect my comment about you and Woggle being on a bitter-bender together. look, we get it. you were involved in an abusive relationship and took the hit. The request still stands: Please produce a link to the original 'lawyer's website' you read.
Author M30USA Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 (edited) No, I don't think he is, entirely. And you're the one who started waving stats around. besides, that doesn't affect my comment about you and Woggle being on a bitter-bender together. look, we get it. you were involved in an abusive relationship and took the hit. The request still stands: Please produce a link to the original 'lawyer's website' you read. The issue isn't about me. It's about truth. Our society has been brainwashed to think that abuse is largely a male perpetration. The truth is that men and women both can be abusers. If anyone wants to start throwing around claims, the only legitimate one is that abuse evidently is close to equal between men and women. Edited July 31, 2013 by M30USA
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 The issue isn't about me. It's about truth.This truth, as you state is both objective and subjective. You see things in a particular way, and that's understandable. but the interpretation of those figures is in dispute, and some of us have calculated that you're reading them incorrectly. But you insist you're not. Therefore, they appear worse to you than they actually are.... Our society has been brainwashed to think that abide is largely a male perpetration. The truth is that men and women both can be abusers. nobody here has ever denied that, and furthermore, I haven't seen anyone on here NOT condemn it... So what's your point in bringing that up? If anyone wants to start throwing around claims, the only legitimate one is that abuse evidently is close to equal between men and women.No, it's not. But it IS the way you choose to see it, because you're biased.
crude Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Often, men are chivalrous when they're abused by women, so it's partially our fault. This guy begged like a dog that his hit man hiring wife not be jailed. Live coverage: Julia Merfeld being sentenced in Muskegon's fake hit man case | MLive.com Tiger Woods' wife smashed him in the face with a golf club and chased him outside to finish the job, yet he covered for her and sacrificed about $50 million and custody of his kids, when she belonged behind bars.
amaysngrace Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Abuse is wrong no matter who is doing it. People should just get the psychological help they need before entering into a relationship and save a whole lot of people a whole lot of trouble. Tiger Woods should have had those kids taken away from their mom. She doesn't seem well enough to even raise a dog. 1
Maleficent Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 I read on a lawyers website that, nationwide, it is now the norm for a man to be accused of SOME form of abuse in a divorce proceeding (spousal, sexual, child, etc.) The number they gave was 60% of all divorces. Because of this, judges no longer view it as safe to assume that women's accusations are true. My feelings on this are mixed. While I'm glad that judges are beginning to take abuse accusations with a grain of salt (unless presented with strong evidence), I think it's pathetic that men can now EXPECT to be called a spouse or child abuser upon getting divorced. It's a right of passage, it seems. What frustrates me about this is that now, women who have really been abused are the ones who will pay for it...
Author M30USA Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 (edited) Rule #4468 of human nature: "If a person, man or woman, CAN get away with something, they WILL do it." Women often abuse men because they can. Women are not above human nature as many would have us believe. Usually those who have learned not to act in certain ways have either been disciplined early on by parents or have suffered the discipline of God later in life. The Bible says that God disciplines those he loves. It's the ones who he doesn't favor that he lets go their own way and, ironically, makes it seem like they ARE blessed because they avoid repercussions (at least temporarily). Edited July 31, 2013 by M30USA
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