Skalabanan Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Hi all, Thought I'd pipe up with something that my brain could never compute and that was how to let go of hope. When me and my ex split second time round it was as amicable As it could be but it didn't hurt any less and I went through and still do torture my brain. I've done my best to move on, spoilt myself, dropped 10% body fat, questioned what went wrong and I'm finally trying to better myself, despite this I'd always think what if she returned etc.... That hope finally came to an end and it came in the form of wishing her happy birthday this past weekend, we'd been in NC for 5 months only broken for her to wish me happy birthday and me to thank her. I sent her a card in the post, she didn't reply so I sent a follow up text just incase she didn't get the card but no reply. I fully understand she owed me no response but as the civil person I thought she was that she would've, and that there was enough to say to me she isn't the person I know or want to know again and everything just left my heart. I know it sounds a bit soppy and childish for a reason but what did it for you?
eddyctv Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 My ex's birthday came and went without me sending her a card, because I knew any reply from her would have just crushed me. She broke up with me 7 weeks ago or so...hope has faded in the last 2 weeks.
aloneinaz Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 My man, I'm only two months post break up. The pain is gone. What's left me for is still the shock of rejection and acceptance. I also reconciled with her too many times already. What helps me stay on the NC and healing path is KNOWING she wasn't a good fit for me and that I wasn't happy at the end with her either. I think people get caught up in the good parts of the relationship when they look back and forget all the BAD which was quite heavy. Why hope to get back w/someone you're not a good fit with? What would change? This are the things I tell myself. I've experienced it w/her. We'd break up for 2weeks or a month then reconcile. The "new" honeymoon phase would last a week or two and we'd be right back where we were. Tell yourself that. Tell yourself you don't want to risk being dumped again and again. Focus on finding someone new when you're up to it. Don't contact your ex, even for birthdays. They are not in your life anymore and rejected you. You don't call or text or mail a card to a friend you had a falling out with. The same should apply to exes. 1
OverThinker72 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 The day my ex broke my heart I gave up hope. He gave up on us so what is the point of hoping? I do understand some people deal with break ups differently, but if the person you love discards you then why should we cling on to hope when really there's no chance of getting them back. I erased him from my life and now working on erasing him from my heart. It's been 2 weeks and I have made no contact and never will. It's hard but holding on to hope prolongs the pain x 2
Roflsaurus Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 When she responded to the letter i sent her saying, "Your words made me cry a little, you know I'm not good at writing out my feelings". For a 4.6 year relationship with no closure on my end. When you write something like that after a 2000 page essay, I felt more anxiety over dating a shell of a human being, than ever being in love with her. So I gave up hope a week after the breakup!
Delilah1623 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 About two hours from now when I say goodbye to him before moving back to my home town 1800 miles away.... Lol
Roflsaurus Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 When she responded to the letter i sent her saying, "Your words made me cry a little, you know I'm not good at writing out my feelings". For a 4.6 year relationship with no closure on my end. When you write something like that after a 2000 word** essay, I felt more anxiety over dating a shell of a human being, than ever being in love with her. So I gave up hope a week after the breakup! correction lol 2000 pages would be extreme!!!!
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