Svetik Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 I got reunited with my first love on facebook about 3 years ago. I am married with kids, he is divorced. We had several conversations and for 3 years both of us wished each other happy birthday. This year I also wished him, but he left my message without a response and forgot about my birthday also. The same day he went on facebook and posted several status updates, although he was not doing it for a few months. Like he wanted me to see that he is there, just not messaging me. My entire wall was filled with birthday wishes from my friends, so there is no chance he could have missed it. I am just curious what could be going on through his head. Why is he mad at me all of a sudden. Why would men do that without any reason whatsoever. I know I am married, and I have no plans to leave my husband, but that bond with the past meant a lot to me.
Misfortune Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Really? How are you married and "love" your husband yet, you're worrying about what your ex does/doesn't do for you?
AllTooWell Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 I got reunited with my first love on facebook about 3 years ago. I am married with kids, he is divorced. We had several conversations and for 3 years both of us wished each other happy birthday. This year I also wished him, but he left my message without a response and forgot about my birthday also. The same day he went on facebook and posted several status updates, although he was not doing it for a few months. Like he wanted me to see that he is there, just not messaging me. My entire wall was filled with birthday wishes from my friends, so there is no chance he could have missed it. I am just curious what could be going on through his head. Why is he mad at me all of a sudden. Why would men do that without any reason whatsoever. I know I am married, and I have no plans to leave my husband, but that bond with the past meant a lot to me. He didn't "want you to see he was there". He has moved on with your life. He doesn't care about your birthday, he has a whole other life now that doesn't include you. He's not mad at you. Maybe he has a new spouse/gf who doesn't appreciate him dwelling on the past, SIMILARLY TO HOW YOUR HUSBAND WOULD FEEL IF HE KNEW. Drop it.
Author Svetik Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 (edited) Dear AllToWell. We both moved on with our lives long time ago. I was not "in his life" already, I knew he was searching for a gf/wife and I highly doubt that he was "dwelling" on his past with me after so many years. We dated when we were kids. Many people wish each other happy birthday, nothing wrong with it. And believe it or not in marriage you need to give your partner some space. My husband knows... I also let my husband have female friends. It's a matter of trust. Hope you are still all too well. Edited July 30, 2013 by Svetik
Misfortune Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Your husband knowing and I'm guessing, being ok with you talking to your ex, would've been good to know from the start. This has nothing to do with the gender of who you're talking to, it's about the history you two had. Like alltoowell said, maybe he's with someone who isn't as accepting as your husband. Don't know too many people who likes their mates being friendly with past lovers.
Author Svetik Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 I am happy for him then if it's true. He had it rough with his last wife. Although I don't understand, because his ex-wife is also his friend on FB. Why would his mate be jealous of someone he knew 25 years ago and not his ex wife.
Misfortune Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 No1 knows the whole new person thing to be fact, soooo, can't really give you a definite answer. Everyone is different. Did you try messaging him after the birthday thing? Don't say anything about it, just a hi or something. The new person would have to know that's his ex. There's no way to know what relationship your ex had with someone on their fb unless they tell you or you become a private investigator.
AllTooWell Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Dear AllToWell. We both moved on with our lives long time ago. I was not "in his life" already, I knew he was searching for a gf/wife and I highly doubt that he was "dwelling" on his past with me after so many years. We dated when we were kids. Many people wish each other happy birthday, nothing wrong with it. And believe it or not in marriage you need to give your partner some space. My husband knows... I also let my husband have female friends. It's a matter of trust. Hope you are still all too well. As the poster below this said, you didn't tell us your husband knew. What I mean is that you came to this forum questioning his motives and that is strange to me. I don't question the motives of my exes when they do or don't wish me a happy birthday - because they are exes, and it doesn't matter. Even the ones that I am close friends with, I don't over analyze and think about why they do something or why they do not do something, which is what you are doing (maybe he's mad at me, etc) There is nothing wrong with wishing one another a happy birthday - what I'm surprised at is your reaction to his failure to do so. Now, if you are actually good friends with him, that's different, but from what you described you are just first loves who have each other on facebook and do not talk frequently. Does your husband communicate with his first love, too? I just find it hard to believe you don't have lingering feelings for this person if you are putting so much thought into why they failed to wish you a happy birthday. 2
lula69 Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Svetik, husband knowing or not, this isn't right. You obsess about an ex. What is wrong with your marriage? Focus on that, before it's too late.
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