academicmoss Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 My boyfriend and I are both in our early 30's and have been together for 3 years. He just recently moved back to town, after 5 months away for work, and has moved into a new apartment. Throughout those 5 months we only got to see each other 3 times so things became a little rough and we started fighting on the regular, to the point of almost breaking up. He said when he come back that things would be better. He's been back for 2 weeks now and things have been GREAT! We've been spending lots of time together and spending the night with each other on the weekend's. It's just like old times and and it feels like things are getting back to the way they were before he ever left. Anyway, he text me yesterday evening and said he was at his friend's house hanging out and to me it wasn't a big deal as I assumed he'd be there for a while and then head back home. Last night, around 12am, my boyfriend signs on xbox and starts playing COD, and I found this strange 'cause he doesn't have internet at his place yet. I sent him a text out of curiosity and he told me he was still at his friends house. That was fine, but I also noticed he was online at around 6 this morning, which would imply he didn't go home last night. I've met the friend he was hanging out with, it's him/his girlfriend and their 3 or 4 children. So it was a family type hangout I initially thought. My bf text me this morning and said "good morning, i love you" as if everything's fine. I'm kind of annoyed he might not have went home last night, only 'cause I feel like I don't know all the details about who all may have been there, what he did all night, where he went. I'm feeling a little left out, information wise. All he said to me last night while being on xbox was that he was still at his friends place. But, my bf staying all night at a friends house that has a gf AND like 4 kids living there, seems odd to me. Do I have reason to be upset? Or am I overreacting? I'll just tell ya, if I stayed out all night with a girlfriend of mine my boyfriend would be LIVID.
MidwestUSA Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Seriously overreacting. He hasn't lied to you, in fact, everything you "know" is based on him logging in online. Maybe to him it's no big deal to stay over, I know it wouldn't be to a lot of people. Are you going to give him the chance to casually tell you where he spent the night, or are you going to build up all this anger and lay into him?
Brunettie Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 You are over reacting. You did know he was there. Not knowing every detail isn't really that important. It is weird that your boyfriend would be livid if you did the same thing though. Why would that upset him so much?
Author academicmoss Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 Seriously overreacting. He hasn't lied to you, in fact, everything you "know" is based on him logging in online. Maybe to him it's no big deal to stay over, I know it wouldn't be to a lot of people. Are you going to give him the chance to casually tell you where he spent the night, or are you going to build up all this anger and lay into him? Right now I'm not saying anything to him. I replied to his good morning text earlier and we haven't said anything since. I don't really know what to say to him right now so I'm kind of being quiet. Things have been going well but to be honest, if the roles were reversed he'd be ready to kill me. I have one girlfriend whom he hates with a passion. He'd flip his top if he found out I'd been hanging out with her, let alone staying the night at her place. I don't have anything against this friend of his, but I've only met him and 2 of his kids once and never met the girlfriend. I'm irritated about this and want to know about last night but don't know how to go about it without my boyfriend knowing I'm irritated about it.
MidwestUSA Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Right now I'm not saying anything to him. I replied to his good morning text earlier and we haven't said anything since. I don't really know what to say to him right now so I'm kind of being quiet. Things have been going well but to be honest, if the roles were reversed he'd be ready to kill me. I have one girlfriend whom he hates with a passion. He'd flip his top if he found out I'd been hanging out with her, let alone staying the night at her place. I don't have anything against this friend of his, but I've only met him and 2 of his kids once and never met the girlfriend. I'm irritated about this and want to know about last night but don't know how to go about it without my boyfriend knowing I'm irritated about it. There is nothing to "go about". All you can do is wait until he mentions it, if he does. I guarantee he is not thinking one bit that you would be upset over this. I also don't get where he has the right to be mad about you staying with a friend of YOURS just because HE doesn't like HER.
Sunshine87 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 we started fighting on the regular, to the point of almost breaking up. He said when he come back that things would be better. He's been back for 2 weeks now and things have been GREAT! So why do you want to go back to fight mode? Allow things to continue being great. Chill out. It doesnt matter what he would do. Focus on being the best, understanding and patient person that you can be.
Author academicmoss Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 So why do you want to go back to fight mode? Allow things to continue being great. Chill out. It doesnt matter what he would do. Focus on being the best, understanding and patient person that you can be. Thanks! That's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to say anything and just keep doing what I've been doing. It's like someone else posted earlier, he probably has no clue I'm overreacting about this, so if I mention it I'm worried it will just escalate and turn into a fight. That's definitely what I want to avoid. So, I'm just going to talk to him like everything's fine on my end. Thanks for the replies, everyone!
StarsOnFire Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 I don't get why it would upset you if he did stay at a friends house? Honestly, if it's bugging you, why can't you just ask him how his night was? I'd probably make it a joke and ask if they stayed up all night playing xbox. Keep it light, and non-accusing, because you seem to be thinking you're only upset about this because you don't understand why he stayed the night. And don't push the topic and turn it into a fight. He doesn't sound like he's hidden anything from you, it could be something like they played xbox too late and he didn't want to drive home tired. Or maybe the wife and kiddos were out of town and his friend told him to crash there. It sounds really innocent to me, and as long as he didn't break plans with you, I don't think it's a big deal.
forgetmenot75 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 My boyfriend and I are both in our early 30's and have been together for 3 years. He just recently moved back to town, after 5 months away for work, and has moved into a new apartment. Throughout those 5 months we only got to see each other 3 times so things became a little rough and we started fighting on the regular, to the point of almost breaking up. He said when he come back that things would be better. He's been back for 2 weeks now and things have been GREAT! We've been spending lots of time together and spending the night with each other on the weekend's. It's just like old times and and it feels like things are getting back to the way they were before he ever left. Anyway, he text me yesterday evening and said he was at his friend's house hanging out and to me it wasn't a big deal as I assumed he'd be there for a while and then head back home. Last night, around 12am, my boyfriend signs on xbox and starts playing COD, and I found this strange 'cause he doesn't have internet at his place yet. I sent him a text out of curiosity and he told me he was still at his friends house. That was fine, but I also noticed he was online at around 6 this morning, which would imply he didn't go home last night. I've met the friend he was hanging out with, it's him/his girlfriend and their 3 or 4 children. So it was a family type hangout I initially thought. My bf text me this morning and said "good morning, i love you" as if everything's fine. I'm kind of annoyed he might not have went home last night, only 'cause I feel like I don't know all the details about who all may have been there, what he did all night, where he went. I'm feeling a little left out, information wise. All he said to me last night while being on xbox was that he was still at his friends place. But, my bf staying all night at a friends house that has a gf AND like 4 kids living there, seems odd to me. Do I have reason to be upset? Or am I overreacting? I'll just tell ya, if I stayed out all night with a girlfriend of mine my boyfriend would be LIVID. I find it odd too. I don't think you are overreacting at all.
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