John Charles Posted October 30, 2004 Posted October 30, 2004 hi, i'm a senior guy in high school, and i like a freshman girl. Should i act on this? To be honest, the first time i saw her it was my normal "eh, whatever" reaction. Then i caught her gazing at me, deeply, and then it wasn't "eh," it was "whoa." Then i keep catching her glancing. Its not a short burst glance, it is a nice little stare.
sami Posted October 30, 2004 Posted October 30, 2004 If you both like each other just go ahead and give it a try. Don't chicken out.
Author John Charles Posted October 30, 2004 Author Posted October 30, 2004 is there anything ethically wrong with dating a freshman? i mean i think of it as when i was 4 years old i would be liking a newborn. or if i was in 8th grade i would be liking a 5th grader. is my train of thought off? i mean if there is nothing wrong with the age gap and the important thing is the attraction* then age doesn't matter?
sami Posted October 30, 2004 Posted October 30, 2004 age exists only in your head. Love knows no barriers.
Author John Charles Posted October 30, 2004 Author Posted October 30, 2004 thank you, i think that is great advice and i just needed to hear it from someone else.
Author John Charles Posted October 30, 2004 Author Posted October 30, 2004 i've always been a hopeless romantic. the movies, the plays, the books, the stories, the poetry. I sincerely cared for all the mushy stuff that lets man get in touch with a more sensitive side. i really believed in true love. However, this has got me no where with many girls. So i have decide to become a player. I have read up o all the seducer sites and have been practicing my game with many girls. its seems to stir up interests from girls in me. I learned a major rule of being a player is that you can't fall in love... Well, i REALLY like this one girl, and all the signs are there for something more than just a hook-up, something deeper. At first, i didn't particularly find her that attractive, then she looked deeply into my eyes while we were walking and it was the strangest feeling... almost like love at first sight, but i've seen her before and wasn't too impressed. i keep getting this feeling when we do look into eachothers eyes. I already went up to her twice and i just froze. but i also have passed her secret admirer notes, really good ones, that aren't serious, but rather funny and sweet. I can talk to any girl smoothly, but her. HELP. should i be a player or a poet. Is there true love or true lies? this is important because this is my last year of high school and i feel that if i don't establish my character now, the real world will chew me up and spit me out, miserably.
dyermaker Posted October 30, 2004 Posted October 30, 2004 I addressed your self-image dilemma in the other thread. Besides the stares, on what could you relate to a 9th grader? You're almost 18, she's almost 14. The difference is phenomenal.
Author John Charles Posted October 30, 2004 Author Posted October 30, 2004 there are world class geniuses that are 10 years old. kids. there are the dumbest people driving on roads. adults. The difference can be 20-50 yrs. what is 4? It doesn't matter how old you're braincells are, if they're not there, well, then they're not. My point is unless you're feeding yourself, you don't know much about anything in the real world; we can't relate using the issues that adults go through. As for relating, what can we relate to? well in high school, there is homework, free time, and people. In the adult world there is work, free time, people. simple. Not Phenomonal.
hurtinheart Posted October 30, 2004 Posted October 30, 2004 go for it!!!!! when i was a freshmen i dated a senior!!!! it lasted along time he was my first love!!!!! we didn't last forever and i still think of him very often but i don't regret a thing!!!! follow your heat!!!!! you may miss out on the love of your life!!!!!!!
UCFKevin Posted October 30, 2004 Posted October 30, 2004 Isn't this the plot to Sixteen Candles? Anyway. Are you going away to college? If so, don't bother doing anything with this chick.
dyermaker Posted October 30, 2004 Posted October 30, 2004 Originally posted by John Charles there are world class geniuses that are 10 years old. kids. there are the dumbest people driving on roads. adults. It's got little to do with intelligence. The difference can be 20-50 yrs. what is 4? Difference between a 26 and 30 year old? Insignificant. Difference between a 13 year old and a 17 year old? Phenomenal. It doesn't matter how old you're braincells are, if they're not there, well, then they're not. It does matter. It's not juts about the synapses in charge of intelligence, it's about the emotional development--and there's a crapload of emotional development between a girl rounding 8th grade, and a boy on the home stretch to college. Originally posted by UCFKevin Isn't this the plot to Sixteen Candles? With Rachel Leigh Cook?
bluechocolate Posted October 30, 2004 Posted October 30, 2004 I agree with Dyer & UCFKevin. There too much going against you here. She is young, and besides you're leaving that school aren't you? Realistically it's going to be difficult to maintain something meaningful at your ages when one of you is in college & the other in high school. Maybe it can work out for some but not for most. What's the rush? You'll meet plenty of girls at college.
Author John Charles Posted October 31, 2004 Author Posted October 31, 2004 so what is it EXACTLY that is wrong here? what are the emotional developments of a 14 yr old girl? what are the emotional developments of a 17 yr old guy? What is it exactly that sets us apart other than age? Its all great that i see some good theory, but where are the facts? i believe no one knows all the answers, and we are all students in the course of life because we all continue learning, always, unless you think you know it all then you might as well be dead! but i too am a student and i cannot see the problem without more enlightenment. So, bring it. Would it change things if i were 16 yr old senior and she was a 15 yr old freshman? THen what's the difference, course credits?
dyermaker Posted October 31, 2004 Posted October 31, 2004 Originally posted by John Charles i believe no one knows all the answers, and we are all students in the course of life because we all continue learning, always, unless you think you know it all then you might as well be dead! Then clearly, no matter what we say, you're going to justify your desire to date this girl. I've said my piece. It's not a good idea for a senior to date a freshman. You're almost an adult, and she's barely out of middle school.
bluetuesday Posted October 31, 2004 Posted October 31, 2004 she's a child. you're practically a man. kev, dyer and bluechoc are bang on the money. however much you are attracted to her physically, emotionally she's way behind you. she's barely finding her feet as a teenager. i don't care how grown up she seems, she lacks the resources and experience to cope with a mature, adult relationship which is, presumably, what you seek.
Author John Charles Posted October 31, 2004 Author Posted October 31, 2004 ---i'm pretty immature. ---i'm not looking for something serious. if no relationship survives past high school then why do kids date? I read thats its part of social development. Thats all i'm really after: life learning. Alas, it can only be done first hand. Well, dyer i think you're right no matter- what you guys say, im going for it. At least when its done i'll let you all know what i've learned. thanks for all your help its opened my eyes and i've learned the only way to know is to find out.
dyermaker Posted November 1, 2004 Posted November 1, 2004 It's a form of victimization. Find a girl to learn with, not a girl to learn from.
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