Nik1 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 So I gave up on dating sites a while ago but just hit one up tonight for the hell of it and once again I was stricken with the same problem I've been having. Even when I get a girl to take the bait and we get to talking, she suddenly stops responding. Now I'll accept that I have bad pictures or I suck at chatting or whatever... but why do they just go silent? So anyway, usually when this happens, I just let it go, but this time I replied after 25 minutes of nothing with a quick quip "Fingers break?".... Probably not the best idea but I figured I may at least try to coax a "NOT INTERESTED, *******!" or something. Anything's better than silence. I guess my question is: what's the best response for when this happens to get them to keep talking without sounding too desperate? Or was I doing it right all along and should just let it go?
KathyM Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 If they are not responding, then they are not interested. Sorry. If you got them into a conversation to begin with, and after some discussion, they lost interest and are no longer responding, there must be something you are saying that is turning them off. I suggest you figure out what that might be. Lack of job? Lack of interests? Lack of goals? Too sexual in the conversation, making her think you are only interested in a hook up? Too negative? Puts down past girlfriends/employers/friends/etc.? Must be something you said that has turned them off. If they didn't like your pictures or profile, they likely never would have responded to begin with, so it must be something you said during the conversation.
Lani Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Have a look through the messages before they went cold and see if there is something in common. Something you mentioned, some language you used, etc? If you don't come up with anything then it's just a case of them not being interested for whatever reason. I've done it to guys through OLD before too, you just get a sense that it's not going to happen. And because you don't know them you can just stop replying without too much guilt.
Author Nik1 Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 Well, I must've been too negative cause we were on this dating/music sharing website and I know we must have had something in common (and the last few messages seemed pleasant enough). Maybe she read that I'm leaving for the Marines and she was looking for a relationship. Oh well, **** it. Try again tomorrow... though she was the only one on there within reasonable driving distance.
KathyM Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Well, I must've been too negative cause we were on this dating/music sharing website and I know we must have had something in common (and the last few messages seemed pleasant enough). Maybe she read that I'm leaving for the Marines and she was looking for a relationship. Oh well, **** it. Try again tomorrow... though she was the only one on there within reasonable driving distance. Oh, well if you told her you were leaving for the Marines, she must have thought it wasn't going to work out to try to start a relationship with you leaving so soon. Women on dating sites are generally looking for a relationship, and if you aren't going to be there to establish one, she realized there is no use in starting up anything with you.
Author Nik1 Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 But we're looking for friends too. Like I said, it's really more of a music sharing website with dating on the side. I don't know, I guess it's just starting to get to me cause my stepbrother just started on POF and he's already gotten laid six times and when the woman leaves you hanging, it's hard to know what you did wrong and it's not like I have unlimited chances to figure out and perfect the art of getting a catch through trial and error. God damn it, I just wanna get laid once before I have to go to bootcamp! This is ridiculous.
Lani Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 But we're looking for friends too. Like I said, it's really more of a music sharing website with dating on the side. I don't know, I guess it's just starting to get to me cause my stepbrother just started on POF and he's already gotten laid six times and when the woman leaves you hanging, it's hard to know what you did wrong and it's not like I have unlimited chances to figure out and perfect the art of getting a catch through trial and error. God damn it, I just wanna get laid once before I have to go to bootcamp! This is ridiculous. If you just want to get laid then there are specific sites for that. Quit trying to get 'dates' just to bone them. That is where your problem lies.
Author Nik1 Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 If you just want to get laid then there are specific sites for that. Quit trying to get 'dates' just to bone them. That is where your problem lies. What sites?
Lani Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 What sites? Depends where you are.. If you watch porn on your computer it usually checks your location and shows you sites. There's also Craigslist? You can find one, you just need to look.
Author Nik1 Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 (edited) Alright, the game's back on, she messaged back... but after my smartassery, I'm not planning on this lasting too much longer, but we'll see. If you watch porn on your computer it usually checks your location and shows you sites. You mean those ****ing things are supposed to be real?! Edited July 30, 2013 by Nik1
Lani Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Alright, the game's back on, she messaged back... but after my smartassery, I'm not planning on this lasting too much longer, but we'll see. You mean those ****ing things are supposed to be real?! Some of them are, yes. I saw a girl I know on one of the advertisements. I'm in Australia though, so things might be different here. Either way, there are ways to get laid without dating girls just for sex. 1
Recommended Posts