jesha Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years. We've had a rocky year breaking up and getting back together a number of times and part of the reason was that he was feeling "disconnected" after he found out that his mom was leaving his dad and he had a hard time coping with his feelings - in life and towards me. Recently we decided we wanted to make a real commitment towards each other and he was going to work on being more open with me and make the effort to show me that he really does want to be with me, which I wasn't getting from him before he came to me and said he didn't want to live life without me in it. He has never told me he loves me. He grew up in a family that didn't say it and his dad always referred to it as "the l word". His family never talked about feelings and emotions. I told him that they were just words and if he didn't feel comfortable enough saying it he didn't have to as long as I felt he was showing me the meaning behind the words. I feel that hearing the words would make me feel more stable in our relationship because I'm a girl and girls want to hear I love you and that kind of thing. How do I try to get him to say it or how could I bring it up? I want him to say it but I obviously don't want it to be forced or not genuine. Do you even think its worth it to mention it? Is saying "I love you" really that important to make a lasting relationship, or are they just words?
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 To answer your question, yes. I do think it is important, showing it is MORE important, but that is like saying you don't need your partner to say you are attractive, because they are with you so they MUST think you are attractive. I would think after such an amount of time together saying I love you wouldn't be as huge of a deal. It is a pretty universal saying... 1
gaius Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Might just be words but in my experience refusing to say it usually indicates deeper issues. That there isn't really a connection or attachment. Maybe I'm wrong and there are couples out there who just don't like to say it, but seriously, he broke up with you because his parents were getting divorced? 1
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