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Don't want to be "just friends" but I don't really have a choice.

idontknow98

By idontknow98
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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idontknow98 Established Member

idontknow98

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Me and my ex had been hanging out and what not, talking more and all that stuff. We are both involved in a group that requires us to see each other almost everyday. She told me to today that she didn't want things to be awkward between us so I'm not even sure if we're "just friends" anyways. But if she thinks we are, then I don't want to be because I still have feelings for her. Also, even if she did think we are "just friends" then I would still not have a choice other than to be her "friend". What do you guys think?

SkylerJean Member

SkylerJean

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I agree with the last poster. Friend zone is the worst place to be, trust me.

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idontknow98 Established Member

idontknow98

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I know, but I'm just not sure what to do now..

Allen101 Member

Allen101

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Dude I'm in the same boat as you. My ex said that we could still be friends, but she just assumes that everything will be awkward between us if we hangout or talk with each other. So I basically told her i can't and won't be your friend, I still have feelings for you, while on the other hand you've already moved on. Plus you assume that everything with me is going to be boring and awkward. Bottom line is, DON'T BE THEIR FRIEND right after the relationship ended, maybe you guys can be friends a few months later but DEFINATELY not right after. They say that inorder for themselves to feel better and so they can have a backup if they can't find someone else. YOU deserve better, dont settle for something that wont make you happy.

bluegreen Established Member

bluegreen

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DON'T EVER BE A "BUTT"!

 

"BUTT" - A person with no self-respect, self-worth, boundaries, dignity, and someone who is not true to what they want, what they need, etc.

 

When someone says...

 

I like you, I have feelings for you "BUTT"...

 

WHATEVER is after the "BUTT" is immaterial and doesn't matter.

 

If you chase, get "friendzoned", end up in a relationship with someone who thinks you are a "BUTT"... They will always treat you like one.

 

You get used, abused, tortured, manipulated and treated like something that comes out of a "BUTT"!

 

Why?

 

They just told you (and their actions will also match) they think you are / have to be a "BUTT" to chase, be their "friend" or to be with them.

 

If you chase, pursue, get "friendzoned", agree to enter into a relationship with someone who thinks you are a "BUTT", it's not under any sort of normal terms that is "healthy" for you and NO... There is never a happy ending for you either!

 

DON'T EVER BE A "BUTT"!

 

 

 

Best post I read Here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jesse93 Established Member

jesse93

Posted
Posted

a thing you guys will learner sooner or later, is that being a "friend" with your ex is just a BS excuse, maybe not in OPs situation since it seems like they're forced to be "friends" so it doesn't make it awkward but a girl will always tell you at the end of a relationship "lets be friends" i don't think they truly mean that, they have the feelings that you have they need time to heal just as you do. my ex girlfriend told me last week she wanted to be my friend and i also responded saying "i dont think i can be your friend" she then asked if she could message me so we could still talk it just wouldnt be the same, i said sure. So here we now and she hasn't texted me once called once or tried to contact me in any way. i think girls just say that as a end-of-relationship type thing. but as for OP don't become to close to her whatever you do you'll end up in the friendzone you can be "friends" but you're truly not friends just remember that, you're ex's and its better to stay that way until feelings fade then maybe you could be friends. but until then just dont get close to her keep your distance, dont make it awkward but dont be too friendly.

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idontknow98 Established Member

idontknow98

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We broke up back in early January. We went max. 2 months NC and have sort of talked ever since then with some NC every month or so. The whole thing is just weird. I'm still not sure what to do. I know I don't want to be her "friend" and I'll try my best to keep my distance.

Inviv_girl Established Member

Inviv_girl

Posted
Posted
DON'T EVER BE A "BUTT"!

 

"BUTT" - A person with no self-respect, self-worth, boundaries, dignity, and someone who is not true to what they want, what they need, etc.

 

When someone says...

 

I like you, I have feelings for you "BUTT"...

 

WHATEVER is after the "BUTT" is immaterial and doesn't matter.

 

If you chase, get "friendzoned", end up in a relationship with someone who thinks you are a "BUTT"... They will always treat you like one.

 

You get used, abused, tortured, manipulated and treated like something that comes out of a "BUTT"!

 

Why?

 

They just told you (and their actions will also match) they think you are / have to be a "BUTT" to chase, be their "friend" or to be with them.

 

If you chase, pursue, get "friendzoned", agree to enter into a relationship with someone who thinks you are a "BUTT", it's not under any sort of normal terms that is "healthy" for you and NO... There is never a happy ending for you either!

 

DON'T EVER BE A "BUTT"!

 

Man I like this a lot :lmao:

 

You know what to do, stay away from her and heal! you don't want to be her friends because it is just lame! you broke up with someone you dying to be with and then be just "friends" sooner or later you will see or she will tell you about the dude she banged and how much she loves him! believe me you don't want to know that sh!!!ztt :mad:

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idontknow98 Established Member

idontknow98

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WTF dude!?!?

 

I cannot even comprehend how it is possible that you do not have any say, control or decide who you want to be friends with or not.

 

Do you not have any strong male roles models in your life? If so, you need to go talk to them and share this story with them and let them take you under their wing for a while.

 

If you don't have any strong male role models in your life... Go buy this book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover and get started on it right away. It will change your life and you will avoid a decade or more of misery and hell that "Nice" Guys subject / put themselves through.

 

I just simply can't avoid this person. We are in a group of about 6 people, including me and her. I can't quit either, because it's just not an option. I certainly pick who I want to be friends with (probably why I only have 2 real friends)

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
Me and my ex had been hanging out and what not, talking more and all that stuff. We are both involved in a group that requires us to see each other almost everyday. She told me to today that she didn't want things to be awkward between us so I'm not even sure if we're "just friends" anyways. But if she thinks we are, then I don't want to be because I still have feelings for her. Also, even if she did think we are "just friends" then I would still not have a choice other than to be her "friend". What do you guys think?

 

I think you need to have your balls reattached. I mean, what kind of crap is this? You have a choice not to accept a relationship that you don't want. You don't have to be her friend. But yeah, she's not going to have respect for a guy who thinks like you think. I mean, if your friend came at you posting what you posted, you'd want to shake the s--t out of them.

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red3 New Member

red3

Posted
Posted

honestly man, i am going through pretty much the same thing but i told her "if she doesnt want to talk about us than i dont want to hear from her"

 

she was/is a good friend to me, but if you want more than you have to avoid this friend stuff.

Eventually one of you will get another gf/bf and than youll lose her anyway

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