sbd_21 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 I apologize if this is lengthy but I could really use some advice right now as I don't know what to do. If I should just move on or if I should have a little more faith that things will turn out alright. To start from the beginning, around the middle of May of this year I met a guy at a party. We only talked for about 5 minutes before my friends wanted to leave, so I told him goodbye and just assumed I'd never hear from him again. All I knew was his first name at this point. A few days later, I find a friend request from him on Facebook. The crazy thing about this, is we had NO mutual friends in common on FB and when I introduced myself, I only told him my first name. Even if I had told him my last name, it's very complicated German name to spell (even my closest friends still have trouble with it, lol) I was so shocked to see him on there! I accepted it, and within a few hours he messaged me and asked how I was. We exchanged numbers but in all honesty, I didn't have high expectations. I didn't even know this guy. But he was VERY persistent to meet up again and finally after about 3 weeks, I agreed to breakfast with him. It went way better than expected, and he texted me afterwards to tell him how great of a time he had. we met up again for the following few weekends to follow. He would always text me stuff like how he likes checking his phone to see messages from me, how he cant wait to take me out again, etc. He introduced me to a few of his friends and we all had a great time together. I was REALLY starting to like this guy. We had seen each other for 4 weekends in a row at this point and 2 weeks ago, I spent the night with him after I had spent the evening at a bar/afterparty with a few of my girlfriends. We did NOT have sex, but things did get physical. I felt like it was too soon to have sex with him and I really felt like he understood and respected that. The next morning when we woke up, we were making plans for the afternoon. I went home to shower and change, and he called me to cancel but told me he'd be around for most of the week and we'll do something then. Well...I texted him to ask him if he wanted to meet up, and he ignored my text. I asked him how his week was going, and he ignored that, too. I haven't texted him since and it's been over a week and a half since I sent that message. Why was he so into me at first but now I feel like he's withdrawn? He wouldn't have introduced me to his friends if I was just supposed to be a hookup to him. I dont want to call again because I dont want to seem clingy. I did tell him that I was really starting to like him, and he agreed and said that he liked me and wanted to know more about me and stuff. He would tell me things like how he liked hearing from me, text him to let him know how my day is going, etc. So why would someone who was SO persistent at first just disappear one day out of the blue, with no warning? I'm so confused. Do I move on or should I wait a little more? I dont know why he hasn't tried to get in touch with me in about 2 weeks. I'm really bummed and dont know how to approach it. or what to say if he DOES ever get in touch again :/
FitChick Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Keep busy and look for interesting and fun things to do on your own or with someone else. That way, you will probably forget about him. If he calls, you will have all sorts of funny stories about the wonderful times you had without him. Don't let him know you were thinking of him. "Has it been ___ weeks already? Wow. Time flies when you're having fun, huh?" I think he was hoping to get laid and decided to cut his losses.
forgetmenot75 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 He might have looked for sex and when it got physical with you, even though you did not have sex, he changed his mind and lost interest. Are you sure he gave you no hint what was he looking for?
kassy Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Who knows why. Maybe an ex came back, maybe he got sick, maybe a million things including he wasn't interested. You'll never know. I have a rule that I assume the best out of any situation where you have no information for any assumption you would make, like now. Assume that it had nothing to do with you, and that for whatever reason it is over. Move on. If he gets in touch he does, if not it doesn't matter As you moved on. It's always a little crushing but the reason why he decided to stop contacting you is irrelevant. He did. That's life. 1
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 It's really clear and simple, he was in it for one thing, he didn't get it so he bailed. Even if he didn't plan on "it" being a one time event, the fact you didn't go for it made him realize you were not into a FWB situation which is, at most, all he wanted. If he genuinely liked you he wouldn't have disappeared like that. If you ever hear back from him, which I doubt, just ignore him. It would be just another attempt from him to "reel" you in, to get an ego boost from knowing he can still "get" you. 1
Author sbd_21 Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 thank you all for the advice. still havent heard from him...it's getting easier taking my mind of it though!
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