tme0 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 I'm just curious to see how this is different for everyone. At what point in a relationship do you feel completely 'secure'? By that I mean you don't get insecure of them losing interest. They don't reply to one of your texts and you don't worry about it, whereas before you would've worried over it, etc. Is it when you've gotten engaged? Married? Or is there a certain point in the relationship where you feel it? Maybe after you've discussed that both of you want to get married, but it just hasn't happened quite yet. Or maybe it's before. Maybe just at a certain time, you just feel it. Thoughts?
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 With my guy now, from the get go. We have ALWAYS had constant communication. When I text him and I don't hear back from him for a while, I worry... and by worry I mean I am checking the news for motorcycle accidents.
Titania22 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 All I can say on the subject, is that when my boyfriend left me, he said I never made him feel secure. I have no idea what I was required to do to make him feel secure, and he couldn't articulate it.
Author tme0 Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 When I text him and I don't hear back from him for a while, I worry... and by worry I mean I am checking the news for motorcycle accidents. lol, that isn't what I mean. Worrying like that is only natural. I mean when you text something and they don't reply and you start wondering "Does he still like me? Did I say something stupid? Why is he ignoring me?" etc
jphcbpa Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 lol, that isn't what I mean. Worrying like that is only natural. I mean when you text something and they don't reply and you start wondering "Does he still like me? Did I say something stupid? Why is he ignoring me?" etc it is important to detach from a text message and not take it personal and DO NOT assume. that security you seek comes from within, not from your partner. 1
tbf Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 No set time. With my husband, I trusted him from the minute I met him and he's yet to prove me wrong. it is important to detach from a text message and not take it personal and DO NOT assume. that security you seek comes from within, not from your partner.Yes and no. If someone displays dodgy behaviour and your gut instinct bomb siren is whooping like a mofo, you'd best pay attention.
GI_Joy Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Consistency in his behavior over time is what breeds security for me. Also, personal growth and reflection over my own behavior. I've only been together with my boyfriend for 3 months and it has been a gradual transition to "normalcy" and the irrational worries have dissipated. It's easier to judge someone and assume the worst than it is for someone to put their heart out there and engage in complete trust. I've come to realize that most of what I used to worry about is stuff that won't even matter years from now, so why should I mentally torture myself with things that may not actually even be true? Of course, that's not to say you should ignore red flags. Ultimately, listening and trusting your instinct will help. 2
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