start at the end Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 I started talking to this guy six weeks ago on a dating site and we switched to texting around three weeks ago. He then deleted his profile two days after getting my number which I thought was a good sign. I'm 28 and he's 26. We've been texting every day, him usually initiating with a good morning text and then texting off and on all day until bed and we've talked on the phone a couple of times. He is currently working 7 days a week and lives 1.5 hours away which made it difficult but not impossible to meet. But he came into town last Monday with a friend of his and I met up with both of them for a quick dinner. It went well...he paid for mine, was nice, had a great sense of humor and asked if I wanted to drive down sometime or we could wait until his next day off to hang out which might be in a couple weeks. Well, I drove down Thursday night. He knew I was coming but there were three guy friends over hanging out which I was a little irritated with (but didn't show) because I wanted to spend some time getting to know just him so I could decide if I even liked him. He cooked dinner for me, the first time in over a year since he's used a stove. The friends stayed pretty late but were cool. I'm not one to sleep around and usually have strict morals about being in relationship before giving it up...but fooling around lead to sex with this guy and I don't regret it. Then we went to bed and he cuddled with me all night. Sleeping is impossible for me while cuddling so whenever I thought he'd fallen asleep I'd try to roll away and he would immediately reattach. We had sex again in the morning and I even stayed an hour later than planned because he didn't want me to leave and kept pulling me back to bed to just cuddle. He told me to text him when I made it home so I did but didn't get a response. Today is Monday...and I still haven't heard from him. Honestly I'm okay with it being just a hookup, but what the heck was the deal with all the cuddling and hand holding and morning affection if it was just a one night thing? I guess I'm just feeling confused. Does anyone have any input as to where his mind was at?
soccerrprp Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Well, not saying that he is done with you, but he got his full complement of emotional and physical satisfaction by cuddling, having sex with you. If I were the type to use a woman for sex alone, I would be doing the same. As long as you are there, why not cuddle? He's a cuddler... Personally, I wouldn't read too much into his cuddling. 7
FitChick Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 There is a reason they are called One Night Stands.
Author start at the end Posted July 29, 2013 Author Posted July 29, 2013 Well, not saying that he is done with you, but he got his full complement of emotional and physical satisfaction by cuddling, having sex with you. If I were the type to use a woman for sex alone, I would be doing the same. As long as you are there, why not cuddle? He's a cuddler... Personally, I wouldn't read too much into his cuddling. Thanks for the input, and yeah...I probably am/was reading too much into his cuddling haha
Author start at the end Posted July 29, 2013 Author Posted July 29, 2013 There is a reason they are called One Night Stands. True enough. I was questioning if it was indeed a ONS or not...didn't seem to be until after the fact.
amaysngrace Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 He's just playing a game. Put your profile back up if you haven't already. And wait for him to contact you. 1
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Are you sure he's 26, he sounds more like 16, with having his mates on your dates, not calling after you slept together and also the excessive cuddling. He just comes off clueless. 2
Casablanca Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 He isn't interested, if he was he'd have contacted you again by now 3
MrNate 2.0 Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 He isn't interested, if he was he'd have contacted you again by now Correct. He'll be back in touch when he's horny again. 3
PogoStick Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 You haven't heard from him. Has he heard from you?
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 I'll never understand as a man why affection, cuddling or even "hand-holding" is seen as some kind of sign for long-term potentially or even a high level of interest or what not...what are women expecting? to be dragged out of bed after sex by the hair, then thrown out the window of a second story building and you'll be thinking "Well, that's appropriate ONS behavior...he obviously made it very clear he's not interested in a relationship!" which makes me wonder what level of respect you accept from men...period. Otherwise just sounds like he had a gameplan with you...invited you over his place, cooked you dinner, threw in a curve ball or nonchalantly had friends over and then still got laid... Friends thing is a bit weird, but the guy is 26, probably more confident than he should be and what are his friends going to care or say "Oh damnit Billy, that wasn't appropriate dating etiquette! she seems swell though!"...no they're going to say "How was she bro, did you hit it?!". Anyway, at the end of the day he'll contact you or not...but it's been what? one day? the guy can already pull the "busy with work" card...you're too a bit too invested at this point, this could have simply just been his game, If he's truly interested he will contact you soon. 2
RedRobin Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 OP, I think it is pretty safe to say that just about anything a man says or does IN BED can be completely disregarded until it is independently verified OUT of bed. But it sure is fun in the meantime 1
BluEyeL Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 I think it looked like an ONS from the get go. If a guy is into you he doesn't ask you to "hang out" with his friends. He takes you on legitimate one on one dates and follows up right away and constantly. In the future, never agree to "hang out" and I shouldn't have to tell you that you shouldn't sleep with a guy who treats you casually like this one did. Even if he cooks for you, big deal.
Drseussgrrl Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Yeah girl this was a pump and dump. The fact that his friends were there pretty much says he was cool "hanging out" whether you were there or not. Sorry man.
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