fixme Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Here it goes. I met this girl named S 4 years ago. At the time we met, she really liked me but I had began a relationship with my ex at the same time. My ex and I had a great relationship but I still remained friends with S. We all hung as a group of friends. In 2010, my ex hated S because she felt S liked me. My ex made me not talk to S. It's 2012, I run into S at the mall by myself. We talk for an hr and it felt like when we were friends again. I stayed in contact with her but didnt have feelings because I was with my ex. I didn't tell my ex I was talking to S. It's now April of 2013, my ex and I break up. A week after I go to a bar with friends and S is there. We had a a blast together. We begin to hang out a lot alone but just as friends. June of 2013. She said to me that she just sees me as a friend and doesn't want to make things different. I dont talk to her much after and leave to Europe for 11 days. When I come back, she says she wants to go on dates again. I tell her I agree. July of 2013. We have been hanging out with friends for a week. It feels fantastic. She shows interest and I do too. Finally, I ask her on a date just the two of us. She had interest. We have the best day. I take her home and ask her if she wants to be in a relationship with me. She says ya but wants to take it slow. She said she has been hurt before and wasn't sure if she was ready but she agreed to the relationship. We immediately begin acting like we are in a relationship. I was introduced to her family and friends as her boyfriend. We hang a few times and it feels great. A week after, she asks me why I asked her to begin a relationship. I tell her some kind things. She hesitates. She tells me she likes me but is not ready for a relationship. She said that she wants time for herself. Her prior relationship was done in January 2013 and was 1 month long. She said that she was sexually assaulted by a friend in April 2013 and is afraid of men. She said I like you but I dont want to be in a relationship. She said that I asked her too soon and she wanted to hang more before a relationship. Why would she want to date me if she didn't want a relationship. Dating results in a relationship. She said she wants more time for herself but has so much. I asked her why she said ya to a relationship and she said because she had a great night. Now she wants to remain friends. What do I do. I like her. Should I stay as a friend and try to hang with her alone more. She said we rushed into a relationship and I see that.
lula69 Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 What matters is what you do, not what you're calling it. "A Relationship", "Dating", "being friends" ... why not all of the above? You have a "relationship" de facto. The question is what kind of relationship? And that depends on what you and her do, not what you call it. Date and be friends. Have fun and see how it goes. Take it slow with calling it this or that. What's the point of making declarations to "be in a relationship"? Eternal love? It means nothing when it fizzles out. And it will fizzle out if there is no substance. Substance is created by doing things together and talking about hopes and dreams. You don't even know you want to be with her for long. So find out before making declarations. Good luck. 1
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