What is your ultimate goal?

[Legatus]

Everybody here has a story or multiple ones, but let's focus on the last one.

 

I am curious what would you describe as your ultimate goal after your break-up? Is it forgetting the whole thing, forgetting them, being able to live normally, or perhaps it's to be able to look at them without your heart racing, talking to them or even be friends?

 

My goal was 2in1, 1 was to be able to enjoy life in general again which I accomplished. Second is to be able to talk to her if I meet her someday again (very unlikely but mathematically possible nonetheless).

 

Why haven't I accomplished the second one? Well from time to time I still have thoughts about how easy it was for her to switch and that none of what happened in the past 3 months was necessary, all it would take would be her being honest at least once.. but I'm getting there.

 

How about you ladies and gents?

[lukekarts]

I honestly don't know. I'm 4 weeks in, after a 10 year breakup, done by text message whilst I was away for a weekend, having a horrible 150 mile drive home to pick up my stuff and move in with a friend. Four weeks earlier I started a new job in a new city to move in with her in what was part of our life plan.

 

I go from everywhere to wanting her back to wanting someone else in my life to just not wanting to be here.

 

Everything else in my life was figured out. I don't feel like I've had anything missing. Good career, decent living situation, good circle of friends, so really the only hole now in my life is someone to share it with, someone who loves me like I love them.

 

I'd love to have a goal of focussing on my career or focussing on a new hobby but I've been lucky that both are in place (I race a Porsche with my dad) so I'm genuinely at a loss on what to focus on.

 

I'd like to hear other people's thoughts, maybe for inspiration. It's so hard going from being 99% ready to settling down and getting married to where I am now.

[ToyStoryThree]

I'm two days into NC, and although I miss her terribly, my goal is to forget her completely. I do want to speak to her, but due to past experiences with women, I don't want to remain friends and I don't want to drag the pain on unnecessarily. I'd prefer a clean break.

[Legatus]

10 years is a long time. I can't imagine how hard it must have been and still is. But on paper I think your goal should not involve her for sure. Text message after such time - that's pure evil.

 

Then your goal is to find someone new, someone worthy.... Easy it is not but I'm sure you can do it. Although it depends on the fact how easy it is for you to meet new people.. But sometimes you just have to wait a little bit and that person will come along!

[youcanever]

It has been 8 weeks since breakup and my hunger of being perfect îs growing and growing everyday. I want to be my best physically mentally. Thats why i hit gym hard, started swimming once a week, reading books, flirtin with girls to improve my self confidence.

 

I am single and i am happy. I can do whatever i want and i dont get jealos or miss anyone because i dont have a gf. I missed this feeling. So now i am happy.

 

I am 23 and i want to try every adventure on world and know lots of people especially girls.

 

Maybe break ups are not that bad. They push you.

 

Feelin like i can tackle anything in this world. No fear.

[Legatus]

If they push you then indeed there is something in it. I myself started working on improving my confidence too, and most importantly will have new hobby soon: traditional archery!

 

Great to hear achieving your goals is going well!

[daftpunk]

No goal. No point.

 

I would take her back if she flat-out asked for another chance. But I have no desire to be just her friend, and I never will. What she does as long as we're not together is none of my business and none of my concern.