Biscous Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 How would you guys define this? I get that some women find confidence attractive and that may win a man a date or something. I must say that I'm not always the more forward and one of my goals is to become a more aggressive/direct person. Basically I want to see what I can get away with I'm not lacking in the looks department by many peoples opinion, but I want to break that barrier of confidence to take what I want more. There are certain situations I excel at this more, but this is something I want to improve in my personal development. Obviously I want to walk the line between aggressive and not cocky. Any advice appreciated.
MrCastle Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 To me the difference between cockiness and confidence is, cockiness to me requires putting people down in order to make yourself look bigger. Anything to belittle people. Like, saying "I'm better than him/her," etc etc. Looking down on people. That's when it's cocky to me. Confidence is knowing who you are and what you're capable of without having to profess it. As far as being more forward and assertive, just verbalize what you want. Don't ask, tell. "I'm gonna" as opposed to "can I?" Assertive: Smacking her ass Not assertive: Asking "Can I spank your ass?" Don't be afraid to state what you like and don't like. Don't be afraid to make innuendo. Sometimes I say really bold stuff and the girl tries to test my stones by saying "what did you say?" -- the inexperienced me would say "nothing, never mind" or "haha just kidding" in order to not offend her. Now I boldly say "you heard me" when they try that and the results are night and day. Women don't want men who are afraid of women. In their head, how can I be with a man who is scared of a woman? How can he lead? How can he protect? You have to stand your ground, man. Say what you mean and mean what you say. 2
BradJacobs Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Act on instinct. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission. 1
soccerrprp Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Act on instinct. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Are you TRYING to better yourself so you have more success with the ladies and in general? If so, this is rubbish. Also, your goal, I hope, isn't to be more aggressive, rather, more assertive, right? Women don't want AGGRESSIVE men, they appreciate men that can take charge when needed, who are considerate, who are affectionate, who do not always defer to others or to them when decisions within the relationship need to be made, who are open to romance, who respect their opinions.... Don't mistake confidence and assertiveness with in-your-face obnoxiousness or being a jerk (aggressive).
GI_Joy Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Like most other things, it's a spectrum. You won't know what works unless you try. There's obviously a difference between what's inappropriate and what isn't, but lack of inhibition also ties in. I like a guy who doesn't beat around the bush. I consider that "assertiveness" because he doesn't need to flower things to get what he wants. Though I also like guys who can banter pretty well, teasing and wit is a lot of fun. Confidence/uninhibitedness is not being afraid of rejection. And I agree with MrCastle, don't backpedal. 2
BradJacobs Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Are you TRYING to better yourself so you have more success with the ladies and in general? If so, this is rubbish. Also, your goal, I hope, isn't to be more aggressive, rather, more assertive, right? Women don't want AGGRESSIVE men, they appreciate men that can take charge when needed, who are considerate, who are affectionate, who do not always defer to others or to them when decisions within the relationship need to be made, who are open to romance, who respect their opinions.... Don't mistake confidence and assertiveness with in-your-face obnoxiousness or being a jerk (aggressive). You can consider it rubbish all you want. I act on my instincts and it's been very well received. It doesn't mean the only arrow in my quiver is aggressiveness, it means I'm confident that my instincts are right. So why in the world wouldn't I act on them? 1
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