MissAwesome Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 (edited) Me and this dude are dating for over a year on and off. The first time we dated was for about six months then I ended it because he wouldn't like to commit so I left. Also, he sucked with communication and barely received a call or text from him. During the period that we were off maybe roughly around six months, I received, multiple attempts from him convincing me to try it again but I did not let him back in not until last month. I was over him so I decided it would be ok to stay friends. We went out and I confirmed that my feelings for him weren't there anymore. Not to mislead him, I told him that we should stop talking and we should go our separate ways. He didn't like it and despite what I told him, he continued to pursue me even more. I thought he might have changed because I was seeing a different him, I agreed to see him again. And seven been seeing each other since then every weekend. Now, my feelings for him are back and I'm in an unpleasant situation and partly was my fault. Since we started dating again, I've noticed some changes he introduced me to his bestfriend( he never asked me to hang out with his good friends before). He tells me he loves me ( never before). He's more affectionate. When were out he likes to always hold my hands even when were with his friends. He likes that I'm always next to him. He takes me where ever he goes so were inseparable when were together. He asks me about my opinion on important things when he makes decisions. He gets jealous when guys talk to me. And just too add to this, this guy has been treating me really well when were together that I forget all the issues that we have. Also, his bestfriend said that he heard things about me already and it was all good. The things that worry me are same things as before. He still barely communicates when were apart. He said he's busy with work during weekdays and can't really talk much. When I asked him about if we're together, his respond was " call it what you will" which I didn't really get what he meant by that. Today, I told him that we should stop seeing each other because he can't commit. He said that I put too much emphasis on the title and that I should stop doing that and to enjoy our time together. He said me and I would talk about it later. I know no ones perfect and everybody has flaws and I shouldn't expect too much from someone thats why I want to analyze it really carefully making sure I'm making the right decision. I need to put my thoughts together before I talk to him because I don't want to go back and forth about this anymore. Please, I need some perspective that will help me decide if I should stay or leave. Thank you. Edited July 29, 2013 by MissAwesome Edit 1
SantistaUSA Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Well looks like he cares and is trying, but if he can't commit then I'm afraid you will get hurt. You guys know each other for a long time, so if he can't say yeah that you guys are dating exclusively then I think you should move on.
Author MissAwesome Posted July 29, 2013 Author Posted July 29, 2013 Well looks like he cares and is trying, but if he can't commit then I'm afraid you will get hurt. You guys know each other for a long time, so if he can't say yeah that you guys are dating exclusively then I think you should move on. He said that were dating exclusively and that he has been dating me exclusively but he doesn't like putting a label on what we are.
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 You need to get it through your thick head that this guy doesn't want to commit to you, or he'd have never dated you for a "year and a half", my god women, take a hint....ever? This is just a good example of how a guy does what he has to do to keep a woman in his life, he had to raise the bar to bring you back and make a bunch of empty promises...sacrificing more for it but he doesn't want anything long-term or committed out of it, he still wants to keep his options open, after all he doesn't seem to have many...why do you like this guy again? you might be the only one! for now at least. As soon as this guy is able to climb higher on the ladder he's going to leave you behind, I just hope you're not actually surprised this time and learned a lesson out of it...it's really a big waste of your time, you're not investing in anything...that's just an illusion guys let you have, that's why he doesn't want to talk to you about it, why would he! to tell you the....truth? how much sense would that make? nothing in it for him in that way, just let you make all these little fantasies in your head just fine, as long as he doesn't deny them you'll take it as a possibility...that's the beauty of being a man, horrid communication is better for these guys than opening their mouths...words can only do harm.
Author MissAwesome Posted July 29, 2013 Author Posted July 29, 2013 Give this some more time.. things will get clearer... You suggest that I should keep seeing him?
Axee Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Yes, since he has told you that you guys will be talking about these things later..
Casablanca Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 You need to get it through your thick head that this guy doesn't want to commit to you, or he'd have never dated you for a "year and a half", my god women, take a hint....ever? This is just a good example of how a guy does what he has to do to keep a woman in his life, he had to raise the bar to bring you back and make a bunch of empty promises...sacrificing more for it but he doesn't want anything long-term or committed out of it, he still wants to keep his options open, after all he doesn't seem to have many...why do you like this guy again? you might be the only one! for now at least. As soon as this guy is able to climb higher on the ladder he's going to leave you behind, I just hope you're not actually surprised this time and learned a lesson out of it...it's really a big waste of your time, you're not investing in anything...that's just an illusion guys let you have, that's why he doesn't want to talk to you about it, why would he! to tell you the....truth? how much sense would that make? nothing in it for him in that way, just let you make all these little fantasies in your head just fine, as long as he doesn't deny them you'll take it as a possibility...that's the beauty of being a man, horrid communication is better for these guys than opening their mouths...words can only do harm. This is my guess as what he is doing as well, could be wrong, but doesnt seem super interested in committing... I've rarely if ever seen the dating off and on thing work out as a long term thing
Treasa Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 If he's treating you well and you're hung up on a title...I guess you should continue to date guys that might not treat you as well, but who will grant you that coveted "girlfriend" title? And I don't get being upset over not talking to him during the weekdays. A lot of people work or have lives. Before texting, most people only talked to each other on the phone, or via email, or in person, if you can believe it. I guess do what makes you happy, but I feel kinda bad for this guy.
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