Need help, gf says she is confused after 2 1/2 years

[jmiller808]

so here is my story:

i have been with this girl for 2 1/2 years and we have lived together for 1 year. she is 21 and i am 25. we recently moved to a new state where neither of us know a lot of people and things were ok for a while. after being in the new place for 5 months i find out from a new friend of hers that she is just confused and that i just need to be good to her. i had no idea what she was talking about so i asked my gf what she meant. she told me that she doesnt know if she is ready for such a long committed relationship and that she had met this other guy that she doesnt know how she feels about him. she said she needed some time off to sort out her feelings and to figure out if she really wants to be with me. she said she cant be with me right now because she doesnt know how she feels about this other guy, if he is just a friend or if there is more there. she has since moved out, but a lot of her stuff is still at my place. it has been a month since she moved out and she rarely talks to me except when she needs to come over and get some stuff. every time i ask her how she feels about me she still says "i dont know". i have no idea what to do because this girl has been the love of my life and i was completely ready to spend the rest of my life with her. i had bought her an engagement ring shortly after we moved here but i was waiting for the right time to ask her to marry me. does she just need to have some time to herself because she has never been completely out on her own before? will she be back? and does anyone have any advice on what i should do. ive pretty much made all the mistakes that most people tend to make, begging, crying, promising that i will make changes (changes that i need to make for myself as well).

 

any help would be appreciated as im all alone in this cause i have moved so far away from everyone i could talk to.

[SoleMate]

Well, job #1 is to cut out all the crying, begging and pleading. That just pushes her away. Read "The Lost Guide to No Contact" (search Loveshack) and follow its advice. Good luck, you will survive.

[UCFKevin]

Ah, the two and a half year marker. Bummer. Happened to me. DIdn't end well.

 

Happens to MANY others, too. Right around two or two and a half years, one of the people in the relationship will begin to freak out, wondering where their life has gone, thinking about everything they could do if they were single, missing the chase of a new interest. It sucks. It happens. ANd it sucks big time!

 

However. The No Contact thing? If it's natural to you and you don't hate yourself for doing it and it doesn't make you more miserable, go for it, but do not feel inclined to have to do this. Do what you feel is right. If you want to talk to her, talk to her. Because not talking to her when you want to is going to do you no good. You will think about her nonstop and wonder "What if I DO talk to her? What would happen? Maybe things will work out! Maybe they won't. Maybe!" and this will go on. So just do it instead of wondering what could happen.

 

But to be honest, I wouldn't say it looks good. Maybe things will change if you give her her space, but I would try to move on with your life. As Sole said, you WILL survive. ANd if she comes back, yay! If not, well, whatever, you're living your life. ANd it will go on.