Is it against ''Guy Code'' to talk badly about your friend's ex?

[Dundas]

I dated my high-school sweetheart for over 2 and a half years... we started working together and then she broke up with me soon after as she found another guy she liked and immediately she began dating him. Of course I was hurt at first and I said a lot of things about her. But after nearly four months, we still work together and I'm no longer hurt.

 

I'm still single although I have gone on dates, and she's still with him, but after nearly four months working together post-breakup, we've begun talking again at work, just as friends. She admitted she did me wrong, and I no longer hold any hard feelings for her, so I'm fine with being friends somewhat, since I still like her as a person. She did do me wrong in the last couple weeks we dated but the rest of the 2.5 years together was extremely good, I still think highly of her with or without her, and I don't trash-talk her.

 

But as soon as we broke up, my cousin began running his mouth saying a bunch of untrue things about her. He's still constantly calling her names such as a 'huge sl*t' (even though I know better). Today, a 7 year old girl told me he was running his mouth about me and my ex (even though he's my "friend"). You know how little kids always repeat what they hear, too. Me and my ex are fine now, and it's really upsetting me that my closest cousin/"friend" would be talking badly about both me and my ex-girlfriend behind my back.

 

Ex or not, I would still take her side against his, as it was a good relationship even though I did get hurt, and he's constantly making fun of me behind my back. Shouldn't there be a rule against talking badly about your friend's ex...? I don't even talk bad about my ex, and she's my ex. I just find it a bit weird that he has such a huge problem with my ex that he would constantly run her down when I can honestly say she's a much better person than anyone he's ever dated. I think it's just jealousy, since I had a longer and better relationship than he's ever had, plus he admitted he liked her before we started dating.

 

He's a very jealous, selfish person. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

Edited July 29, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Dundas]

You're right, I'll just talk to him about it. I know him and I know it won't go over well, but having a little girl tell me a bunch of rude things he's said about me and my ex is going way too far... kinda ridiculous.

[daftpunk]

"The code is more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules..."

[jesse93]

my friends do this about my ex all the time, and it annoys me i tell them to stop but the continue to do it. just tell him straight up you don't appreciate it and if continues to do it then tell him you don't want to be his friend if hes not going to respect you.

[flitzanu]

i don't think it's guy code. i think it's a backward way of a "friend" trying to make you feel better about a dumb girl. would you rather your friends tell you how amazing your ex is and you're a horrible waste of a human for ruining the relationship and how you're never gonna find someone as awesome?

[Simon Phoenix]

Why wouldn't you just talk to your cousin? And the reason he's doing it is out of loyalty to you. Maybe the method sucks but I would guess his intent is good. I don't think it's something you should be upset about before talking to him about it.