dasein Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 This is a common mistake insecure people make. If he had any idea how unattractive it was and how it literally beats the attraction out of a relationship, he'd probably stop doing it instantly. Problem is, who's gonna tell him? You can only do so very subtly, so who? It kills attraction for very obvious reasons. No one wants to be loved for an idealized version of themselves, but for themselves, warts and all. People want to feel they need to better themselves, be challenged to be better and better in relationships, not have their partner constantly feeling they are playing catchup from an inferior position. Moreover, people want to feel that their happiness in a relationship is real and due to a good match, not some kind of lopsided charity. Sorry you are experiencing this and hope he stops before it's too late. A very little of this goes a long way towards killing many relationships in their tracks. 1
Author Lex.R Posted August 4, 2013 Author Posted August 4, 2013 No one wants to be loved for an idealized version of themselves, but for themselves, warts and all. This is exactly it! - This is what im feeling, like he might be feeling insecure in the relationship but he's kind of making me feel insecure to boot - im not perfect, and it is hard to live up to someone's idea that you are. I feel bad cause theres women with MUCH worse relationship problems, its just a little thing but its just, I'm just as faulted as he is, like you say id love him to acknowledge that and love me anyway!
Knoxpwns Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 Your boyfriend and I sound more similar than you know. In my experience, if I could could sit in the same room as him, I'd tell him to cut the ****. I used to say the same, my incredible (at the time) girlfriend who was very attractive and me who was so-so (at least i felt that way). Cut the **** bro, because he's not out of your league, he isn't punching above his weight. The fact that you seem really into him and really care about him is all the proof I need to show he's in your league; if he wasn't, then you wouldn't be together. Physical appearance is only one part of what makes a person. He needs to tap into those qualities and realize what makes him in your league.
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