Sadaka Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Me and my ex were togheter for about 3.5 years, the last year or so it was a rotten relationsship with barely any attraction at all and i did about every error possible, i was super needy, let her decide everything and was 100% chode. When she eventually broke up with me, i was devestated and acted even needier. She broke up in november. After this we've hung out and talked some till around april, when i decided to go no contact. We've always had a good connection, even when it has been really ****ty we've always been good friends. However, in the end she was pissed with me, annoyed at me, cause i was so extremely needy and annoying, she was developing hate for me. Anyway. A few days ago i broke no contact(i realize now this may have been a mistake), i sent her a text asking her whats up. Took her about a day to reply(which is just.. wtf), when she did reply she seemed shocked to hear from me and acted like she was interested in talking, so we've sent a few texts(like, 3) but after the third text she just stopped replying. These texts were not sent in the time span of just a few hours, rather days. I dont really know what to do next, i dont feel like im in any position of power towards her. Since we broke up i've been working on myself a lot, today im much more fit, i value myself a lot more and im just enjoying life. What do i do?
keepontruckin Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 You do nothing. If she wants you, she knows how to contact you.
TaraMaiden Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 You detach, go No Contact, let go and move on. There's nothing more you can do here. Read the No Contact Guide in my signature, and remember one very important detail: No Contact is NOT implemented as a way of getting your ex back, or making her miss you. Those are irrelevant. No Contact is a tool, pure and simple, to help you heal and walk on.
Antares Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 What was your reason for texting her and breaking NC? If it was because you *needed* to show off the new and improved you, then I think you should go back to NC. Look; it's ok. You broke NC, you're on the other side of that wall now, no biggie. She could have responded immediately and friendly and who knows you might have had the chance to show off how well you're doing. However, her actual responses showed no interest and she's probably thinking that you're still a bit needy. The best thing you can do is take that new fitter, healthier you, live life the way you want to, and slowly start to discover new people. If you're meant to be with the ex, she'll find out. Life has a way of surprising you when you least expect it, but you can't really force it. Personally, my ex broke up with me in April. It was a short relationship so the sting didn't last long - but she was a great girl. After the BU call I went NC immediately, but still longed for her. I even thought about ways of sending a friendly text just to catch up with her. I didn't. I went and moved on. Saw my friends. Dated other girls. Worked. And went on vacation. And you know what, when I least expected it...my ex texted me last week. Meaning, I didn't have to do a thing. Some exes will eventually get back in touch, others never will. Some will send breadcrumbs and look for ego boosts, others will really want to get back together. It's all sort of random, and the power that you do have, the only thing you can control - and it's a big one actually - is YOU. If you really want to show off the new you, give your ex the best version of yourself, by disappearing completely and making her wonder wtf ever happened to that guy. 1
Author Sadaka Posted July 28, 2013 Author Posted July 28, 2013 I broke NC in a moment where i was feeling strong and it seemed like she wasnt going to break it. I am very improved since we broke up, in all areas of my life. However, im still feeling like she has too much power in our communcation. Like i said we've been texting, she just replied to my last text now, took almost 2 days to reply. Should i even bother replying when she acts like this? It is not like it took her that long to see the text. Before i even consider suggesting a meet-up with her i want to feel a little more in control.
TaraMaiden Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Do me a favour: Read post #3 again, and do it, ok? That's how you get "your Power" back, see?
Author Sadaka Posted July 28, 2013 Author Posted July 28, 2013 Yeah ok, i just dont reply then and go hunt that cute chick i met out last night instead
Antares Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 I broke NC in a moment where i was feeling strong and it seemed like she wasnt going to break it. I am very improved since we broke up, in all areas of my life. However, im still feeling like she has too much power in our communcation. Like i said we've been texting, she just replied to my last text now, took almost 2 days to reply. Should i even bother replying when she acts like this? It is not like it took her that long to see the text. Before i even consider suggesting a meet-up with her i want to feel a little more in control. She has power because you give it to her. She has power, because you care and she does not. I'm glad that you've improved your life, but honestly, if you were in a place to re-attract her, or to meet her, you wouldn't care at all about her supposed 'power'. Or the fact that she's taking 2 days to respond, while you analyze how much time you should take to respond. A meet-up? Nope...not even close man. Sorry. If she's taking 2 days to respond to your texts, do you really think she wants to meet. It's harsh, but it's the truth.
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