tinkerbell25 Posted October 29, 2004 Posted October 29, 2004 Hi, I am writing to see what you think... am I high maintenance and irritable like my boyfriend says? or am I just trying to do my best with a boyfriend who likes to aggravate me and is stubborn? We have been together 2 years, it has been up and down, we don't live together and I am at a breaking point right now. Here is an example..... I came home from night class tonight and my boyfriend came over which was nice since we had not seen each other for 3 days (we have not been getting along). He is the kind of person that likes to get under your skin, aggravate and annoy and laugh because he got at you. Well, tonight, when I got home, the first thing he asks is if I am going home to Colorado with him this weekend (he is going there to see his family and party). I said yes. Then he said there is a Halloween party to go to. We went to this same party last year and I had a terrible time getting him to dress up. EVERY PERSON there was dressed up and I had to go at the last minute the day of the party to get costumes because he would not do it. It cost over $150, and up until we went he was refusing to put it on (We were Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson). He said this year we are not dressing up. I told him that it is important for me that we dress up since everyone else does and I hardly know his friends and I feel self conscious enough as it is. Most of these friends are into drugs and he and I are not, and they are "high-roller" people (into drugs, partying, going to Vegas, L.A., stuff like that. he comes from that, too) and I didn't want to be the only couple not dressed up, and also, I think it is fun and cute to go dressed up as a couple and I wanted to have that memory with him. He said no way, he would rather not go then, and that I was being selfish. selfish? I am going there with him for the weekend, I just want to feel comfortable. After that, he proceeds to just try and annoy me all night. He starts in asking about an old boyfriend and if I have talked to him lately since we have had troubles lately. He gets the dog all riled up and hyper (which he know annoys me when i am tired). The dog is jumping all over me and i ask him to stop repeatedly and he just keeps doing it. Then, he was eating chex mix and he starts throwing it across the room to the dog, and it hits the walls. I have asked him repeatedly, just please give the food to the dog, don't throw it into the walls. He proceeds to tell me he is helping the dog, the dog likes it and just discards my request. He says he is "helping" all the time with stuff like that. He will point out some girl with terrible hair or someone who is over weight (i want to be clear, he doesn't actually say anything to them, he just leans over and says, look at that girl.....). Then I tell him to just be nice and he tells me he is just "helping" the girl out. What is that supposed to mean? How are you helping her? You are just making fun of her behind her back. I know we all get humor at times laughing at people who wear bizarre clothing or have crazy hair, but he is just excessive about it. He is not always like this, but he sure can be and it makes me want to get away from him! So, he left and went home after an hour and i am relieved. Am I high maintenance with the Halloween costumes? Am I irritable? What do you think? Tinkerbell25
sami Posted October 29, 2004 Posted October 29, 2004 It all depends on what you mean to him and how much he can offer.
Author tinkerbell25 Posted October 29, 2004 Author Posted October 29, 2004 Sami, i know he is very in love with me, that is for sure. to the point of doing some rather elaborate things to keep us together when i have wanted to leave. we have been through a lot and he has been very dedicated and loyal. i do love him, also, i guess at times i just think our personalities clash. I don't like conflict and i like to resolve things calmly. I am a laid back, sweet, passive person. He is very forceful, almost always instigating things with me or someone else. i don't really understand him. he is extremely stubborn and does not like to be confronted or told what to do. he means a lot to me, and we have had some wonderful times. The best and worst times of my life have been with him. but the day to day aggravation is really getting to me. Tinkerbell
sami Posted October 29, 2004 Posted October 29, 2004 May be because of those differences in personalities he is not quite sure of a future for this relationship. People invest ( materially & emotionally) only when they are certain of what they are getting. Those clashes are sending him scary signals. May be you are still together out of a need or fear of the unknown rather than joy or satisfaction .
Author tinkerbell25 Posted October 29, 2004 Author Posted October 29, 2004 Originally posted by sami May be because of those differences in personalities he is not quite sure of a future for this relationship. People invest ( materially & emotionally) only when they are certain of what they are getting. Those clashes are sending him scary signals. May be you are still together out of a need or fear of the unknown rather than joy or satisfaction . Hi Sami, Yes I think you are right. Each side is hanging on because of fear, I think, and also an extreme desire to try and try and try. Thanks for your insight
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