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Posted (edited)

Me and this girl, we're kinda close (work at the same place but different departments). Texting/chatting a lot, occasional convo in the office. Would initiate the talking/texting/chatting more often than not.

 

It's all good until the first date (back in june), which was a total disaster.

 

- I opted for us not to watch a movie premiere because we would end up arriving at our respective places too late (12am). And there's our 7am work the next morning.

 

- Took too long to decide on where to eat because most of the places are packed (about 30 mins of walking around).

 

- Didn't even took her home and got off at my bus stop (which was an hour away from hers).

 

- Didn't initiate enough kino (only kino was we were leaning against each other while in the line for the tickets, her putting an arm on my shoulder and not around my shoulders, was playing with her hand on the way home).

 

After the date obviously she lost a lot of interest, we used to text daily and a lot. Was reduced to a few ones and it would be me that would be initiating. Asked her out a couple of times which she all turned down.

 

Then a week later the date she gave me a hand written letter, basically saying she's not ready for a relationship, and she feels bad that i'm asking her out and she can't even make time for me but I should decide if I would pursue her or not. (basically a rejection letter imo).

 

Stopped texting/talking to her altogether 2 weeks ago, but would be polite to respond if she talks to me. Then I recieved a couple of texts all of a sudden about my lighter (which I let her keep cos she doesn't like me smoking). Told her to just bring it whenever. But she keeps forgetting.

 

Then me being a beta texted her last night asking for a straight rejection so I can finally move on. She insisted that she wasn't ready, and she didn't say anything about her not liking me. Told me that we'll see come September if she feels ready to date again.

 

 

 

 

tl;dr: kinda close with a girl coworker, psuedo-relationship deteriorated after disaster date. said she might be ready to date again in a month.

 

Should I pursue? And how should I approach the situation without being clingy? also any other criticism is welcomed.

 

P.S. First time dating anyone, she's 21 and I'm 24.

Edited by Niera
Posted
Should I pursue? And how should I approach the situation without being clingy? also any other criticism is welcomed.

 

P.S. First time dating anyone, she's 21 and I'm 24.

 

Her rejection letter was exactly that. Move on.

 

As for welcoming other criticism... if you're describing your first dating experience using terms such as "kino" and "beta" then you've been reading too much PUA stuff. Don't believe everything you read and just go with the flow next time.

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Posted

So that was her giving me false hope? (Her texting all that stuff last night and all)

Posted

Maybe she just wants attention.

  • Like 1
Posted

What is there that is unclear? She said no thanks. She's at least polite about it. Why make it more complicated?

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