StormyBlueEyes Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Readers be prepared, this is a long story! I just broke up with a guy I was seeing yesterday. I did it over the phone, now before you throw judgement at me, let me explain myself: Me and the guy, we've been buddies since 6th grade. We tried dating back in high school, he left me for another girl....somebody who's grass wasn't greener on the other side. We remained friends throughout the years and now to the recent past and present here we are. I have been married since 2008, separated in 2012, and I haven't talked to my hubby in 8 months. So the guy said lets give it a shot (May 2013) he talked me into us seeing each other and that its "okay because I'm legally separated" and that I shouldn't feel scared or worried because "its normal" well weeks down the road he's pushing me to get the divorce and telling me how to raise my kids, being jealous, and telling me my points of view are wrong. I was getting tired of this, because it was making me angry and frustrated. A good man shouldn't do this, well one day he decides to go buy him some nice clothes and look into buying an expensive vehicle designed for a bachelor....not a family man after he wanted to be like a dad to my 2 girls. I just wonder if he was trying to impress another woman cause he's really good friends with a girl and I thought he was gonna leave me for her when the time was right. I immediately thought, he hasn't changed, he just put up a front to "impress me" pretending to be a family man, and now he's showing some real colors. Plus if my husband was to call me, contact me in some way, drive all the way up to Virginia from Louisiana I would take him back (it would be a cold day in hell if that happened but given the situation I would) because it shows he's wanting to make things work again. So I'm at work, I can't focus I can't think straight, all I can think about is breaking up with my ex-guy. So on my lunch I called him and told him I know I should wait to see you and tell you but its eating at me and I can't take it anymore. I don't think we should see each other, I'm still married whether I'm legally separated or not, and I don't think its fair to you. So I'm ending it. I go back to work relieved and I performed much better and more focused. And he claims he was hurt because he wanted to talk about things today instead of doing it over the phone. I think he wanted to be the one in control, to have things his way, to call the shots. I feel much better since I've talked to him face to face today but he still hurts (so he says) but he said he was gonna tell me the same thing face to face that it wasn't working that since I wasn't getting a divorce he was gonna tell me we should stop. So why be hurting? I think its the control freak in him. So he says we can be friends and he hopes I find happiness, and tries to hint at us again and I said I don't think so. I didn't have feelings for him to begin with, I tried to end it a week into the thing because of the fact I'm still married and he talks me out of it because it was what he wanted not how I felt. And here's the killer: he tells me weeks before we started seeing each other that I shouldn't be dating or trying to get involved with anyone because I'm still married. Doesn't make sense, does it? I think he tries to fit the circumstances to suit him. Ok end of story! Given my situation, did I do the best I could by doing it over the phone? I believe I did the right thing cause I couldn't take it anymore. It was eating at me BAD! I don't feel guilty of telling him its over, I just think my etiquette wasn't up to par (cause he told me it was wrong of me to call him and tell him instead of waiting the next day to talk about it face to face)
Ordinaryday Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 'Break up etiquette' is not real, there is no 'polite' way to tell someone that you no longer want them in your life, and I would much prefer being dumped over the phone than being dumped face to face, 1
daftpunk Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Well. At least you didn't do it via text. Only dirtbags break up via text, in my opinion.
Ordinaryday Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Well. At least you didn't do it via text. Only dirtbags break up via text, in my opinion. That's why I prefer being dumped that way. It allows you to hate the Dumper more easily and get over them faster, so in short dump anyway you like just not face to face
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