girlygirlgirl Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Brief history: Didn't develop feelings of love for my ex, so I broke it off. Even though he was lovely and very sweet. I think I have ruined him I have heard a few things from people that know him. Apparently he is showing signs of a sociopath. He was very emotional when we were together. He wasn't afraid to show his emotions. I remember once when a sad commercial came on, I could tell he was upset by it. That's how emotional he could be. Now he apparently shows no emotion at all. My friend said he has a blank stare and whatever you say to him, he has no emotional reaction. Another friend said he has become a bit robotic. He is concentrating on himself and it sounds like he is willing to step over anyone to get where he wants. This is not the guy I remember, he didn't have a selfish bone in his body Is this just a coping mechanism he has developed or have I ruined him? I didn't mean for this to happen. He is the nicest guy I have ever met. I would feel awful if i depraved some future girl from having him in their life. I won't contact him and talk to him about it because it won't help him. I just feel awful about it
maturityassets Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 He isn't sociopath in all likely. He might have some emotional disorders that would be helpfully solved through therapy, but he isn't a narcissist in all likelihood. I was consider a nice guy from my ex and all. To tell you the truth after she broke up with me I became a bit self centered as well. Started working out, unwilling to compromise on emotional issues, trying to live life to my fullest and etc. But that all goes crumbling away after a few months. I suffered from codendent behavior and toxic shame growing up, so sometimes it is difficult to find my real self. After I lost my ex, the person who made me feel the most alive and comfortable for such a long stretch of time in my life, the ego was a bit shatter. Eventually though, I figured I was living an act. You know you are just masking shame, and so you come to terms once again with yourself. Of course I still use therapy as a resource (2 years of being in therapy, started before I even started my relationship with my ex) so I'm very aware of when I am being Authentic to myself and I know when I'm just masking myself. Hopefully your ex will come to terms with himself. Its not your fault, he has to live his own life. While partners are suppose to be our better halfs, they are not responsible to make sure our emotions stay in tact.
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