fistandantulus Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 The title says it all I guess. My girlfriend that I love so much and want to get married some day is turning our relationship into a nightmare because of her retroactive jealousy. Here is the brief story of it. My ex broke up with me with no solid reason but for the "I am not attracted to you" crap. This happened two times by the way. Man it hurt, but you know what they say: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Well, I shut my emotions down and got into a total douchebag state of mind, a primal coping mechanism I guess, like getting your revenge back. In this state of mind, I started going out to nightclubs, being that guy who tried to hook up with strangers. Quite successfully, I managed to go in bed with this hoebag, who had no attractive quality other than wanting to sleep with me. In my sick mind, I was proud of myself because a female human being wanted to have sex with me. Pathetic!! This thing went for a while with this one person, more like a casual dating than a one night stand. After 2-3 months of this messed set up, she said that she was pregnant and it was my child. I proposed to have an abortion, she declined, I said I don't want to be a part of this then. Today I have nothing to do with her, not even sure if there is a baby to if there is, it is mine. Anyways, this whole experience was an eye-opener for me and made me realize that I wasn't made for that whole casual dating or one night stand scene. I surely coddling handle it well and messed it up, rather badly. 4 months after this happening I met this amazing lady from where I used to work. We immediately clicked and started dating. I was so determined to make this relationship right and don't be a douchebag. I told her that I was serious in our relationship and all the ****ed up things I did. She was OK with all of this first, having and affair with a married guy herself before, she was in no position to judge. Now we are 10 months in our relationship and she just can't stop asking me questions about why I did the things I did in the past because I don't look like a person who would do those things. She can't handle the fact that I made a big mistake and learned my lesson from it. She can't help but imagine things I and that hoebag did when we were having sex. I clearly told her that she didn't mean anything to me and there was nothing special about it. I have been totally honest with her about this and told her upfront, before we even started having sex. Now I told her I can't live in th shadow of the past and I don't think I can handle her insecurities and jealousy about this thing. She asked me if I was breaking up with her and I happened to say yes. Did I do the right thing? What could I have done better? She has been verbally abusive and very annoying about this whole thing. She is 32 and I am 29. Suggestions are appreciated.
AllTooWell Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 If I was your girlfriend, the fact that you ditched the "hoe bag" who may or may not have your CHILD is much more disturbing than anyone you've put your dick in. Anyway. You need to seriously talk to her and tell her that if you wanted to be with the other girls, you would be, but you want to be with her. Retroactive jealousy is extremely immature but she needs to grow to trust you. In my last relationship that is how I felt, but I eventually got over it because he proved he was trustworthy. If your past is bothering her I think it's because she is concerned about what you are doing in the present, or will be doing in the future. Sit down, have a talk with her, and express the fact that though you regret what you've done, if you hadn't you wouldn't be the same person you are today. Anyway, yes you did the right thing. You've ended things and unless she is willing to accept your past, that's how it needs to be. You can't change your past. And it seems like she was pretty annoying. I would've tried to talk to her and get her to see your side first, but your choice!
Recommended Posts